Missing school for a holiday

Keyboard playing up. More expense!

Three days to spend with his brother who he does not get to see much. I would say he should go. When my children were young it was quite acceptable to take your children out of school for a holiday. I didn't know anybody that didn't. the teachers would love to hear about what they had done. the geography teacher at the second school actually commented to me that he reckoned my children could take the geography lesson as they were so well travelled. Then it changed. No holidays in school time. I was fortunate to be involved in this new school policy and therefore got to know the understanding for it. The reason? Far too many children were missing up to eight weeks at at a time to go home to their home country.

There was a blank page on the request form in order for me to put my case.
I did, and have been told it isn't exceptional circumstances, and therefore they cannot grant leave.

eazybee

You are teaching your grandson that despite being refused leave of absence it is all right to ignore rules and regulations.
This is exactly the same as the recent thread about cheating; if I want to do it it is all right, because it does not matter.

It’s 3 days !!! Plus have you read what OP says about the circumstances ?
Have some compassion fgs

MissAdventure, if you end up in Clink Gransnet will rise up and fight your cause! ?. Hope he has a great time, and you have a bit of peace!

Normally I would not be encouraging missing school, but
a) these times are not yet normal
b) your circumstances are not normal.
You seem to have a very good case for making an exception. The school may not be free to agree, but put it in writing and they will understand.

Me too, much more sensible advice than mine ?

I agree with JaneJudge

MissAdventure

Well, I've cooked my goose, really, because I've already asked and been told no.

So what will they do?
March you off to Bronzefield?

We'll protest - we will fight them in the playground, we will fight them at the school gates .....

speak to them? I rang my sons school and said we needed to go to a funeral and because our family lived miles and lies away we would be staying overnight for a few days. The headteacher said she couldn't authorise it but to put it in writing and then it would unauthorised absence. We were never fined or contacted tbh

So just put the circumstances and background in writing and stress you are left caring for your grandson and let them follow up with all the people who cannot get their children to school and have genuine disdain of rules and boundaries.

Well, I've cooked my goose, really, because I've already asked and been told no.

I am afraid the trouble is, if you ask they are duty bound to say no. You have to take responsibility for your child's life and education.

Remember you are the parents, DGP or whatever. It is your child not theirs.

I took my DD out of school for a term in P6 and sent her to France to attend a village school where her DGP were living. The school in France were fine about it but the school in Scotland were not.
They harped on at me about missing vital education when in reality she was staying with her DGP who helped so much with her maths that she was way ahead when she returned.
She had a brilliant experience, came home speaking fluent French with a perfect accent but also it gave her such confidence that I can only admire. I have to admit I missed her dreadfully.

We can never really know how missing school will affect a child but I can’t think that missing 3 days, in these circumstances, would adversely affect him.
I can never remember how much education I missed but I went to 3 secondary schools ( one twice) and missed the first term of my first GCE year. The school I went to in England had a different exam board so I completely missed some subjects.
I’ve managed to get through life quite successfully.
All my friends and fellow students were in much the same situation. We just got on with it.

I wouldn't expect him to lie, which is why I have already requested the days.
I also don't lie myself, so if I say he is bright, he is bright - even though that doesn't affect what decision I end up making.
It will be made on what I consider to be in his best interests, and even if he was as thick as two short planks, I would still do the same.

Let him go on the holiday, but say that’s what you’re doing. Grammaretto that’s so true. Don’t get your child to lie. They always give themselves away by talking about what they did and where they went.
It’s true that schools are bound by lots of rules and regulations regarding unofficial absences. It’s also true in all my experience except one, that the parents say the children are so bright it won’t hurt them to miss a few days.

When I was teaching families routinely took their children out of school and off for a week or a fortnight's holiday. There weren't any rules about it then. I don't think it did any of the children any harm whatsoever. I would imagine much of the stuff we taught them rarely comes to mind now, but I bet they all have a story to tell about the holidays they had.
Just let him have his 3 days. You both deserve them.

He should definitely go. It is a one off and the poor mite has been through so much.
Yes sometimes honesty doesn't pay but you will feel better knowing you have been upfront.

I don't know your back story but it sounds as if there are circumstances that totally justify this holiday.

I don't live in the UK but they seem to be exceptionally strict about this kind of thing.

Follow your instinct MissA. Under the circumstances, I wouldn’t think twice about allowing DGS beneficial time with his brother.
Life isn’t only about schooling.

Missing school again and again of course impacts on life chances. Saying it doesnt is consigning a group of children to really not great lives. That's not the issue here of course.

eazybee

You are teaching your grandson that despite being refused leave of absence it is all right to ignore rules and regulations.
This is exactly the same as the recent thread about cheating; if I want to do it it is all right, because it does not matter.

"Because it doesn't matter"

It doesn't. It is OK to break some rules and regulations. It depends on the rule. Spending precious time with family is at least as important as schooling if not more so. A child being absent from school again and again and again might matter but actually it might not. My mum missed almost a year* of school as a teenager because of illness; kids have recently missed vast tracts of school because of pandemic fears. A few extra days with gran is neither here nor there in the big scheme of things.

*she did that year again; no big deal.

Cheating is not the same thing at all.

eazybee MissA did the honest thing by asking but there are circumstances presumably you know nothing about which definitely over ride rules and regulations.

You are teaching your grandson that despite being refused leave of absence it is all right to ignore rules and regulations.
This is exactly the same as the recent thread about cheating; if I want to do it it is all right, because it does not matter.

IMO the family shouldn't have even requested leave from school and just gone 'sick'. I agree with other posters that school absences should be allowed for the remainder of this year and next

I would lay it on thick if contacted by the education department. You are looking after your grandson and need some respite yourself too.