Being kind it’s so uplifting. GN positive outcomes.

I notice when there is such a thread there's often mentions of private messages. Maybe I should be glad I don't really get any!

As in life, there is much more good than bad, but the bad gets more attention, sadly.
Let's be kind. We often don't know what pain someone else is going through.

The thing is some of the kindest actions that my friends have made is when they have told me I was behaving like an idiot.

"Please let’s focus on the positive, we are all here for each other, nothing proves it more than the delightful lady who plucked up the courage to leave a controlling husband thanks to GN support, she posted pictures of her new home and is now very happy."

There's another poster today who could probably benefit from reading that thread. Is there a way of directing her to it?

I have appreciated private messages which have given me great hope and encouragement.

Galaxy

The thing is some of the kindest actions that my friends have made is when they have told me I was behaving like an idiot.

Agreed - not about you and your friends, but that is true of me, too?

The ubiquitous 'Be Kind' is pretty meaningless, really. If it means being supportive at all times, and letting people behave as they like, that can often mean being unkind to others. As an example, I have seen lots of memes saying 'It's ok to be kind to yourself. Ok to change your mind. Ok to not go if you don't feel like it', and so on. They mean well, and are encouraging people to think about mental health, but I think they can be counter-productive.

What they miss is that behaving like that is far from kind to the person who was relying on you to turn up, or who had planned for something only to find that you've changed your mind, and so on.

IMO, trying the be kind by telling people that it's ok to do whatever feels good for them is not doing anyone any favours. That attitude won't wash at work, for instance, and it is likely to leave people with few friends and strained family relationships. Sometimes it is kinder to be honest. Not cruel, but honest.

When people think they are being kind and advising friends to put themselves first because they don't know the pain they are going through, they don't know what the impact of doing that is going to be on the people being let down.

I'm rambling now, but it's a bit like the butterfly flapping its wing impacting on the rest of the forest, or however the saying goes.

Galaxy

The thing is some of the kindest actions that my friends have made is when they have told me I was behaving like an idiot.

Yup

Sago, you gave me a recipe for some divine cheese biscuits. Was that kind or EVIL as they really go straight to the hips don't they

Yes I agree doodledog, I dont even know what be kind means as my idea of kindness will be very different to other peoples. Certainly on MN I think many women have been helped out of terrible circumstances by some er very firm speaking.

I have had some lovely private messages. Some people I have heard do abuse it though.

GN - by that I mean all of you individuals, is a great support for me and somewhere on the net I feel safe.

You have taught me how to poach an egg in a mug, how to peel ginger with a spoon, identified a plant to name just a few.

Made me laugh, brightened my day, made me feel I'm Normal ? I've enjoyed taking about serious matters & continue to be educated.
Best wishes all ?

JaneJudge they are even worse when topped with homemade pesto.
So glad you enjoyed them?.

Sago, are you willing to share the recipie for the cheese biscuits? They sound delicious?

Marydoll, the thread is here

But we now need the recipe for the homemade pesto

Jane ?

They look amazing.

....but fatal for the hips, methinks! ? I'm going to try them!

I have had some lovely supportive pms since I have been on GN.

I have received some private messages from extremely kind people. They arrived just at he right time!

I think there are many kind and supportive people on GN. They are just quietly there whereas the nasty ones get all the attention.

JaneJudge The pesto is bags full of wild garlic, walnuts, Parmesan,Greek basil, olive oil and lemon juice, nothing is weighed or measured, just a taste now and then until it’s right.
I then bag and freeze, I make enough for a year.

The Parmesan biscuits I make the dough, cut out rounds using a champagne flute and then freeze the uncooked rounds.

Ohh the pesto sounds lush too. I will leave out the walnuts though as I am allergic to them