Being oversensitive to something small

Very well put Scones.

Lucca

Curioser and curioser cried Alice…

Oh my fur and whiskers, perhaps the OP was late for a very important date

In my experience there is no such thing as 'oversensitive'. It's an expression used by people who are insensitive to minimise the feelings of the person they've sh*t on.

Just re-read the OP. It's very self-centred, which is probably why the writer did not apparently realise that dumping someone unceremoniously out of her car in a way that is not usual at all, is not SMALL.

What a strange post

You say you had nothing to discuss with her, perhaps though she might have had a need to chat of her own? That part of why she does this swimming pool run is because she needs contact. Sorry but I think she may very well have cause to feel hurt by the change in routine. Money is often the last reason anyone does anything for a friend.

Let’s turn this around, op. How would you feel if your friend, who usually invites you in whilst you wait for your bus, just decides to drop you off at the top of your road without any explanation as to why and then drives off? I suspect you’d be somewhat hurt and baffled....
I find your post rather odd, actually.

I think you should consider who needs who the most in this arrangement: you for her to take your children swimming when presumably you can't, or her to earn the money you pay her.
Either way you need to make it up with her before next week's swimming lesson.

Let me get this straight. She regularly collects your children from school and walks with them to them to swimming .While they are there she must hang around waiting for them to finish, then she supervises them getting dressed and ready to come home. You pick them all up and drive them home to yours, where she comes in and have a chat (and maybe a cup of tea) and gets a bus or walks home. Last time, you didn't ask her in, but put her out at your house without saying why. Now she thinks YOU are annoyed with HER?

Why is SHE not annoyed with YOU for treating her like dirt?
Paid or not has nothing to do with it. If you pay her, she is not doing this as a favour, but it seems to me that paying her has given you the feeling that you are the big boss and you can change things suddenly without any warning. Of course she is hurt. She feels she wasn't worth an explanation of WHY she wasn't welcome.

Curioser and curioser cried Alice…

Who uses the expression and didn’t let her into the house as if she was a stranger.

Exactly, Washerwoman - it just makes no sense. Next?

I too found this very confusing. And also thought if you're picking her and the children up after swimming and it's 5/10 minutes to her house by car why wouldn't you just give her a lift home ?

Could this thread benefit from renaming
For instance “Being INsensitive to friend who regularly helps me out without giving her an explanation” ?

If it had been a case of “got to dash, (eg) due at dentist, is it OK if I drop you at the bus stop today just for once”
But still, I’d run her hone unless there was a very good reason not to

The ‘I didn’t need to discuss anything with her’ got me! How strange. Sounds a bit prescriptive. Conversations most often just evolve between friends.

I guess I should have said something. Just felt it would have made sense to her why I had done it.

Why would it make sense to her if you normally ask her in for a chat but this time you just stop the car and put her out?

If I was her I'd think it showed that you regard her as hired help, not as a friend.

(Why did you think it made sense this time, to put her out, when usually it doesn't?)

In my view, you have been insensitive to this lady.

guess I should have said something. Just felt it would have made sense to her why I had done it.

Never assume someone else knows what you’re thinking without you telling them. People can’t mind read.

I dont understand why you dont run her home if she is a friend

Not sure what this post is all about! Whatever it is is seems to be a lot of fuss over a minor incident - bit like a school playground issue .

I would wonder why you'd suddenly and unexpectedly changed things from the usual. If she's five minutes away from you, why not just drop her home?

Why couldn’t she come in your house if she normally does ?
Seems a lot of worry about nothing
Why was it easier for her this week to get the bus but not other weeks
I still don’t get it at all she’s probably as confused as I am

Why can’t you drop her at home?

Tell her sorry, you were embarrassed because your house was filthy/you hadn't done the washing up /the cat had been sick on the carpet and take her back to yours next time.

JUst say that to her then? that you thought it would be easier?
It is not a big deal is it?

Just to clarify I always pick them all up from swimming then back to my house. We usually have a quick chat then she goes off to get the bus.
I just thought it would be easier to drop her at the top of the road this time but yes, maybe should have said why I was doing that this time rather then letting her into the house. Didn't realise it would worry her.