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When I was mistaken for a witch….🎃

(48 Posts)
Witzend Mon 11-Oct-21 10:44:54

Since the H word is coming up, I thought you might enjoy this.

Coming up to Halloween decades ago, when I didn’t even look anything like as much like a scary old hag as I do now, I went with dh to Homebase to find a besom broom, for sweeping leaves off the lawn.

Dh has always had a habit of wandering off and disappearing in shops, and that was no exception.

So having found my besom broom, and paid for it, I stood fuming by the checkouts, clutching my broom and waiting ages for him to re-appear.

Standing nearby was a woman with a little boy of maybe 4 or 5, who I suddenly noticed was cowering behind his mother’s skirt, his face just peeping round, his eyes fixed on me.
I was close enough to hear his fearful half-whisper - ‘Mummy, is she a witch?’
The poor woman was mortified!

Dds, , then in their teens, found it hilarious, and have told the story with relish many times since.

goose1964 Thu 21-Oct-21 01:05:37

My mum's friend had very long dark hair which she wore in two waist length plaits. She was a herbalist so we decided she was a witch.

Witzend Sat 16-Oct-21 10:07:46

Somewhere I have a warty green plastic nose on elastic thread - must dig it out for answering the door on H night! No witch’s hat alas - can’t think what happened to the one I once made for a dd, but since she was only about 5 I doubt it’d fit anyway.
We were living in the Middle East at the time, the children on our big construction camp enjoyed trick or treating, but there was zero Halloween stuff in the shops. We counted ourselves extremely lucky when a local supermarket started importing real Christmas trees that you could order.

SuzC Thu 14-Oct-21 11:42:40

Very funny and reminded me of bumping into my next door neighbour in the supermarket with her GD who promptly asked me ‘why do you look like a witch?’. Admittedly, I was dressed in black including a longline cardigan - but still?!? The neighbour was horrified…me too!

mothertrucker52 Wed 13-Oct-21 18:21:00

Witzend, that is funny now but not all that long ago you could have been condemned to a dreadful death on similar accusation

Gabrielle56 Wed 13-Oct-21 14:10:54

Aldom

Love your story Witzend. Years ago, when we lived in a very old house, I had a besom broom. It was the authentic 'witches broom' made of twigs and lived by the back door. A friend called to see me one day and when I opened the door she said, 'I knew you were home, your broomstick's here'.
I still chuckle at the memory.

Ha! As opposed to when it's in for a service! Hil-ar-i-ous 😂

win Tue 12-Oct-21 22:48:29

Many years ago, when my husband was out gardening, he heard our neighbours argue very loudly. The husband came over to the fence and started to grumble to my husband about his wife, who then came nearer and started cursing at her husband. She had a broom in her hand as she was sweeping up leaves so my husband quietly said to her, why don't you go for a ride on that one, pointing to the broom. She never spoke to him for months. We have laughed so much about that one too. Not nice but funny though.

justwokeup Tue 12-Oct-21 21:43:51

The day after Halloween last year, I was walking with a friend and dgc in the pushchair and saw outside people's homes, among the detrius of spiders' webs, skeletons, pumpkins etc a full-size, rather scary witch, all in black, sitting on the doorstep of a house. I said to my friend 'I think that is a bit too scary for little ones, don't you?' when the door opened and a lady came out with 2 cups of coffee. The 'witch' took off her black scarf and twitched her long skirt as the house owner said 'it's so nice of you to come and sit outside for a chat during lockdown, thank you so much'. Oops!

Witzend Tue 12-Oct-21 19:42:43

Sawsage2

Talk about getting things wrong, I recently asked a young male shop assistant if he had any fat balls (for the birds 🐦!) He just gave me a quizzical look so I quickly left the shop.

Another time, if you’re feeling 😈, how about saying you want some nice fat balls for your tits?

Germanshepherdsmum Tue 12-Oct-21 18:04:33

Poor you CrazyH. I hope you’re happier now.💐

crazyH Tue 12-Oct-21 17:09:15

Children are so perceptive . Not long after my husband left me, I was sitting next to a little boy at my grandchildren’s Christmas play. The little boy turned to me and asked “why have you got a sad face ?” ….I don’t know how I managed to hold back the tears. I just told him that I wasn’t well, that’s why I had a sad face. Mind you, I was asked that recently as well…. So it’s probably just the way my face is put together 😂😂😂

sazz1 Tue 12-Oct-21 16:59:13

This reminded me of when DDIL2 took DGD shopping in town. She suddenly stopped dead still and shouted pointing at a person "Look mummy there's a letterbox walking " DIL was mortified and apologised profusely to the lady. The lady just laughed and said "that's just kids for you has she not seen a burqua before?"

kevincharley Tue 12-Oct-21 15:50:44

Sawsage2

Talk about getting things wrong, I recently asked a young male shop assistant if he had any fat balls (for the birds 🐦!) He just gave me a quizzical look so I quickly left the shop.

In a similar vein, my favourite apples are Cox's. You really shouldn't ask an assistant if they have any cox, it leaves you wide open to all sorts...

Sadgrandma Tue 12-Oct-21 15:29:43

Do you have room on your broom for an old bag like me?
Many years ago my ex husband and I went to a Halloween party at our theatre group on a local RAF camp. We went fully costumed and made up as vampires. We were held up at traffic ljghts and, as cars came the other direction, their headlights shone into our car. The look on the faces of the group of young apprentices waiting to cross the road was a picture!

Childofthe60s Tue 12-Oct-21 15:05:30

My adult son is often entertained in this way when shopping in the next village. He has shoulder length hair, a full beard, earrings and a couple of rings, one of which is gold. Several times he's spotted a little one poking their head around a parent's leg or leaning around the end of an aisle, with a mix of awe and fear on their face, whispering "Mummy, look, it's a pirate!" He just smiles and agrees if the child has the courage to ask.

Hobbs1 Tue 12-Oct-21 14:32:39

My nephew years back when he was 5 used to come into my garden early evening in the summer months ( my sister and her family lived next door to me) and watch the fruit bats, I used to make up stories about the bats being my friends. I also used to make him a “ magic potion” of olive oil and tea tree for his ear infections.
On Halloween I just arrived home from work when I heard him say to his friend, don’t go home yet, my aunty is a real witch, she has bats for friends and makes potions.

kevincharley Tue 12-Oct-21 14:22:07

I had the opposite. Years ago I worked in a restaurant that had a Halloween special night. All the staff were in fancy dress, me as a witch.
The lights came up at the end of the night and a late leaver looked at me in surprise and said 'oh, you're in fancy dress too'. My self esteem plummeted.

grandtanteJE65 Tue 12-Oct-21 13:37:43

I have frequently been mistaken for a witch.

I attribute it to the fact that I hold long conversations with my own cats and any others I happen to meet.

Round this time of year, my old cat used to look quizzically at me when I was sweeping the kitchen floor, as if to say, "Are we going anywhere nice on that thing, soon?"

Sawsage2 Tue 12-Oct-21 13:05:37

Talk about getting things wrong, I recently asked a young male shop assistant if he had any fat balls (for the birds 🐦!) He just gave me a quizzical look so I quickly left the shop.

Amalegra Tue 12-Oct-21 12:39:28

I had a besom broom for the garden and often left it by the back door. When my (ex) husband used to see it he always enquired if my (lovely) mother was visiting!

Nanascats Tue 12-Oct-21 12:30:47

I was out guising with my children many years ago and I dressed up as Dr Who: Huge over large raincoat, Trilby hat, 4 very colourful scarves put together with huge baby nappy safety pins and a bag of Jelly Babies. Running late, I went off to the bridge club and no one but NO one made any comments!!! When I mentioned it was Halloween, they just said "Oh, we thought you just came nattily dressed as usual".

Chocolatelovinggran Tue 12-Oct-21 11:54:03

A child in my class asked an Ofsted inspector if she was a witch ( well, she did look a little like one )
I hope it didn't impact negatively on her judgement....

Polly4t42 Tue 12-Oct-21 11:44:09

Children have wonderful imaginations. This reminded me of a PTFA meeting one evening during Halloween week. I was a helper at my sons cub troupe and we had had a Halloween party all dressing up. I had dressed as a witch with cloak and hat over a long black skirt and had coloured my face pale green. The committee meeting was straight after in the school next to the Scout hut so I removed my cloak and hat and dashed round to be on time. I received several strange
looks from the others as we sat down but no one said anything and it wasn’t til after during coffee that
I mentioned to a friend that I had had to rush there without time to remove my makeup that she and others had noticed I looked a bit green but didn’t like to mention it

Rileysnana Tue 12-Oct-21 11:34:41

That is so funny. Bet your bad mood went straight away. Little children are brilliant. When yours are grown up you forget how good their observational comedy was.

Theoddbird Tue 12-Oct-21 11:27:34

I was once given a book of spell weaving along with flowers for my birthday by someone I was going out with He said he saw it in a book shop and said it just seemed to suit me. Many have said that they have often thought I was a witch. One wise person said he thought I was a hedge witch. Maybe I am....who knows. I have four spell books now but have never used any of them...maybe I should...grin

Ro60 Tue 12-Oct-21 11:19:12

😂 thanks for sharing 💐