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Do you dislike people who disagree with you?

(181 Posts)
VioletSky Sun 17-Oct-21 22:29:19

Do you dislike people whose values or views don't align with yours?

Or do you dislike people purely because of how they speak to you, differences of opinion aside?

Answering my own question:

I tend to look at people more for what we do have in common and think, oh well we agree on this topic and they had interesting contributions or they gave some lovely comforting advice on that topic so generally won't be rude first and I do work hard not to be rude at all lol.

MissAdventure Fri 22-Oct-21 13:03:59

You're welcome.
I think. wink

GrannyRose15 Fri 22-Oct-21 12:57:07

MissAdventure

Well, I disagree. grin

Thanks MissAdventure. grin grin. I think confused

MissAdventure Fri 22-Oct-21 12:48:13

Well, I disagree. grin

GrannyRose15 Fri 22-Oct-21 12:47:34

As its hard to find anyone who agrees with me I'd have no friends at all if I disliked everyone who disagrees.

Jaibee007 Wed 20-Oct-21 23:22:02

Depends what the disagreement is about - I dislike anti vaxxers, people who have no problem with hunting animals, people who shove religion at you or keep on pushing when you tell them you don't like something, the old "but have you tried,... Blah blah" as if you don't know your own mind - but I love a good discussion about art, music, fashion and entertainment with people who have radically different views and different tastes -

Callistemon Wed 20-Oct-21 15:18:40

tickingbird

You beat me to it Chewbacca. I was going to say the same thing. Maybe, Algerias, you have friends that don’t admit to voting for Brexit.

Perhaps because they are worried about the reaction!

My parents had opposing political views but managed to stay happily married (apart from some bickering as both were strong-minded) for almost 60 years.

It could get quite lively sometimes. ?

Chewbacca Wed 20-Oct-21 15:00:11

grin mad as a box of frogs!

lemongrove Wed 20-Oct-21 14:55:39

here goes....'I I I II liiiike you verrry much, I I I I I think you'rrre fiiine...

lemongrove Wed 20-Oct-21 14:53:44

ooh, a whole headful of fruit...I like it! Now, where's me maracas?

Chewbacca Wed 20-Oct-21 14:41:50

How about CarmenMiranda? That way you'll have the lot! grin

lemongrove Wed 20-Oct-21 14:30:01

it's certainly either/or Chewbacca
shall I change my name to Oranges then I can tell you that they aren't aren't the only fruit?grin

Chewbacca Wed 20-Oct-21 13:43:56

Agree Lemonmeoldfruit. Do you think it's a self confidence problem perhaps? Or they just can't handle being disagreed with?

choughdancer Wed 20-Oct-21 13:34:37

GagaJo

It must have been very difficult dealing with your brother following George Floyd's murder, choughdancer. When one feels so much compassion and sees cruelty, yet knowing it would distress your mum if things blew up... horrible situation.

Thank you GagaJo it is difficult. I try to remain calm on the outside while very upset inside. In the case of the George Floyd murder he said if I watched the entire footage of the police camera it would change my mind. It didn't; it actually made me more angry with the police involved, as it clearly showed that Floyd had said 'I can't breathe' earlier on, so they already knew this was a weak point for him. It also showed that he was handcuffed and (in my opinion) no threat to four policemen with guns. The last bit of the video also shows one of the policemen trying to screen the camera from full vision during the knee on neck time. It really showed me how two people could see something so differently.
I have followed closely a friend who is a covid denier/anti-vaxer, and have read all the links she and others post. They say that they don't follow any of the news channels (e.g. BBC) that they say are covering up and telling lies; I don't want to be like that, and I have to say that none of the links have led to me doubting the science around Covid, nor to thinking that there is a vast conspiracy, but at least I'm not sitting in an echo chamber!

lemongrove Wed 20-Oct-21 13:18:15

Waves back??
It’s always possible to have strong disagreements without disliking the other person ( even if you dislike the other point of view.) If only more people would realise this!?

Iam64 Wed 20-Oct-21 11:59:42

lemongrove

Galaxy

I think my friends are human. I have lied (not about Brexit, I would hope my lies were slightly more exciting) so it's not as if I am being judgemental, I just know that people are flawed.

That’s exactly it, our friends are human and we are human and all are flawed.
There are lots of good things in 21st century life but the general intolerance seems to be going up, not down.
People who seem proud of the fact they they don’t know any Conservative voters/ Brexiters / you name it/..are prime examples of this.
Fortunately I don’t come across people like this in the real world, and we all manage to rub along just fine.

Waves at lemon and says it’s so good once again to find common ground. I’ve been away relaxing so can’t recall the long thread on which lemon and I (or me and lemon) disagreed rather strongly. Over many years now, we’ve been at ease in taking different positions on politics but that’s life isn’t it.

Yammy Wed 20-Oct-21 09:59:12

No, they are welcome to their opinions just as I am to mine, anything for a quiet life at home or when I worked but I do give people who are racist or argumentative for the sake of it a wide birth. Which probably gives a false view of how I will respond when annoyed.
This attitude I'm afraid caused trouble at work where I was often taken for a pushover until something major that was important enough to stand my ground cropped up. Then I kept to my beliefs and principles and people were shocked at how I could respond in a clear decisive and very firm manner.

SachaMac Wed 20-Oct-21 08:48:32

No I don’t mind if peoples opinions or values are different to mine. I do think you tend to make friends with people who have a similar outlook on life to your own. Doesn’t mean you agree on everything of course but as long as you respect each other’s opinion that’s ok. It’s good to debate or even argue occasionally, sometimes you may even be persuaded to change your mind about things! I try to just get on with people and take them as I find them but I go with my instinct and if I see traits coming through in someone like being spiteful or unkind, constantly showing off, bullying or bigotry I’d steer well clear. It’s sometimes more awkward in the workplace when you are stuck with people all day and have to try and get along but you can choose your friends with care. Life’s too short to be spending time with people you don’t really like.

Kali2 Wed 20-Oct-21 08:31:23

That has nothing to do with being a saint or not- au contraire.

Alegrias1 Wed 20-Oct-21 08:24:46

I guess I'm not a saint then. I can't pretend to be friends with anyone who voted to destroy this country, especially if they had no idea what their vote meant. sad

VioletSky Wed 20-Oct-21 08:21:36

Janejudge I never post anything political after learning the hard way.

The thing is when friends post political things I don't agree with, I find it easy to just let it go by. If I posted something it was impossible not to address what people said on it.

So now it's kittens and rainbows all the way

JaneJudge Wed 20-Oct-21 08:18:13

Apart from my mum and husband I don't really talk to anyone about politics unless they bring it up. I don;t post anything political on facebook either.

grannyactivist Tue 19-Oct-21 22:36:56

A very close friend of mine voted leave and I admit that I was surprised because I just couldn’t imagine why; in previous discussions he had opposed the leave ‘message’. So I asked him about it at the time and his answer was that he ‘just wanted to shake things up a bit’. Now he’s mortified and deeply regrets the way he voted, but if he had lost friendships over it he would be absolutely devastated.

I honestly do believe that people really are more than just the sum of their parts. We all are multi-faceted and flawed.

lemongrove Tue 19-Oct-21 22:04:09

Less of the old if you please!?

Chewbacca Tue 19-Oct-21 21:58:54

Some did Lemonmeoldfruit! grin

lemongrove Tue 19-Oct-21 21:51:54

Chewbacca

How my friends and family vote genuinely hasn't caused any falling out, arguments or bad feelings; not before the referendum or since. The only incident that I can recall was on the day of the result. A young colleague was so distraught and angry at the result that she approached every member of staff, as they arrived, and demanded to know how they had voted. Her lack of self control meant that she went too far and it didn't end well unfortunately.

I hope people said ‘none of your bloody business’ ?