What have you finally made peace with?

That I will never be in touch with estranged sisters and their families.
That I will never be in a relationship again, trust is gone.
I'm finished doing the running and trying to keep friendships, they are not with my time.

I try to weigh up the positive sides of myself to balance regrets/guilt, but right now I can’t get past my DH being in a care home for over two years before he died some months back. It’s going to haunt me for the rest of my life.

I’m getting on a bit but completely Agee with above. A toxic unkind mother and abusive childhood and estranged from my brother. I’m only 60 but attempting to keep things in perspective. I find it hard to keep negative thoughts from coming but I’m getting there! Looking forward to future now and watching my daughters grow up.

I have always regretted not being able to be with my parents when they died ( this due to living far away from them) but I have realised they wouldnt want me to be upset about this for te rest of my life.I think I have made peace with this.

I have made peace with the fact I have been badly hurt by several people in my life and they never owned their unkind behaviour or were sorry for it. I have made peace with the fact that I let go of opportunities and dreams I had for my life. I have made peace with the fact that life did not and has not turned out for me, as I grow older, the way that I (carefully, I thought!) planned it. I have made peace with the fact that dreams have not, and most probably will not now, come true for me, where they have and will for other people I know. I try not to dwell on the past, in fact I actively turn away from it, although sadness does creep in now and again. I concentrate on the here and now, the future, my many blessings.

My relationship, or lack of relationship with my dad. He was quite selfish and a jack the lad. Didnt really have time for 3 children as he was busy having fun . He told us he loved us on his death bed. Through my training and job l feel l understand him and his upbringing more. He was different to other people's dad's but what he taught us was positivity and how to have fun. So lve cone to terms with it all a long time ago.

The things I have made peace with:

My daughter and I will always have a different relationship and that she will never express her love for me. However, she is seeking help for her mental health issues and we are finding our way through slowly.

My mother is never going to change as she is as damaged as my daughter.

I don't have to live my life being the dutiful daughter at a cost to my own happiness and I can be grateful for the gift of my son without martyring myself for evermore.

My grandson is ASD; he is still such a pleasure anyway.

My estrangement with my father. All those years I craved his attention rather than his abandonment and it turned out that my mother was the lesser of 2 evils! I don't ever have to worry again about why he never accepted me and made me feel as if I was unloveable. Unfortunately, I don't think I will ever be at peace with the fact he turned out to be a paedophile but I am satisfied that at the age of 84 he has been imprisoned for his crimes. I have a lot to be grateful for that he left me behind as a child!

The serenity prayer
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
The courage to change the things I can
And wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time
Enjoying one moment at a time
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace.

I don’t know that I agree with the last line but do wish I could live by the rest.
I do try and I do accept that I don’t always succeed. I have made peace with the fact that my mother was mean and nasty to me as a child. I know I did my best by her as an adult, using patience and kindness taught to me by my father. I hope I was party to helping her to be a good grandmother to my boys, they did love her, I don’t think I ever did.

I have made peace with the fact I did not get to the very top, career wise, I was ambitious in an disorganised way, but now know that two children arriving in quick succession and hindering it was the best thing ever to happen to me.
I have not made peace with the memory of my violent father and troubled childhood, but as someone upthread said, I do not want to go over all that now. Sometimes blocking or compartmentalising thoughts can be the best thing to do
Maybe there is something to be said for the British stiff upper lip.

Thank you for the thread Kandinsky. Oh! I love your name and the artist.

I'm so with Urmstongran with this. It's more to do with letting it go. As much as I want to, I bottle things up which causes me a level of anxiety I've found hard to cope with over the years.

However, I've mentally shut the door to my ex husband, who made my life and my DD's a misery. My DH has made this possible.
I never thought I could trust another man and not be scared to say how I feel, but I have. DH and I married five years ago. I regret that I could have married him 40 years ago. I finished our short relationship to go out with the man I then married ! I'm at peace now ?

Another let go is that moving to live with with my DH, I left three friends, one who I was very close too, behind. I worked with/for her. She was the head at a school I was seconded to as her Deputy. We struck a bond really quickly and the friendship grew with lots of meet ups, mini breaks, hours of chatting and masses of support. Due to the distance, it's been difficult and the bond we had, has weakened. We have the occasional chat that lasts for hours but these are few and far between. I'm sad but reconciled that we do still keep in touch. It was the choice I made but you I always used to think that somethings will continue whatever the circumstances but they don't. Ce la vi.

It's been sad to read some of the posts. Glammanana ?

I wish we could all be in that safe unthreatening place and be able cope with those curved balls Hithere.

I will never be able to make peace with the fact that my sister emptied my fathers bank account out when he was dying,and took everthing that was worth anything from his home.
I have however made peace with the fact that i won`t ever want to see or speak to her again.

I'm with Lucca on this. Can't come to terms with my main sadness after all these years but I've a kind of peaceful acceptance of something I cannot, nor ever have been able to, do anything about. Still irks for all sorts of (wrong) reasons though. Emotions, eh?!

sodapop

I'm resigned to the fact that most of my life is behind me now. I'm going to enjoy what's left though and not waste time on regrets.

Me too....cheers

I made peace and embraced that it is ok to be different and follow your own path.
If somebody doesnt like and accept you for who you are, it is not a healthy relationship

I made peace with life - it throws you curb balls and you manage to adapt, no matter what

I don't think I'll ever make peace completely with a lot of things. I still have my dreams and yearnings and in the early hours they will pass through my mind along with regrets and sorrows. I suppose that's life, isn't it?

I am not able to make peace with any of my regrets mistakes etc. Many have suggested talking about it but I don’t want to. There are many things I’d prefer not to think about ever again.
I just muddle through now !

Like many others on here, coming to terms with the fact that no matter what I did in life, I'd never be good enough for my mother (although it took me the best part of 40 years to realise that!).

Same list as yours Kandinsky apart from the estranged siblings, as I have none.

I've made peace with being estranged from our youngest son and only GC, well 99% of the time anyway. It's been just short of 9 years so it's about time I suppose.

Kate1949 I am also not good making peace that’s why I choose to accept things. I am sure as a person you are kind at heart even though you have had heartache. ?

I admire you all.
I'm not very good at making peace with anything. I'm quite bitter I think. I know it's pointless but there we are.
I can't find peace with my horrendous childhood, losing my teeth at 11 and now total hair loss. It's been, and still is, horrible.

I do wonder why some people have uneventful lives and just sail through it. Maybe they keep things to themselves I wear my life on my sleeves it’s the way I am.
Life has certainly been eventful and I could have many regrets but I don’t I learned to accept things.
Peace and tranquility I had hoped for this as I have aged. However recent circumstances have made the idea of peace out of reach for the time being.

Past hurts sometimes do come unbidden into my mind but I don't let them linger and spoil my mood.

Peace came with the realisation that, although I didn’t get the life I envisaged and thought I wanted, the one that fate gave me was actually a better life for the person that is me.

Or maybe the person I am is what my life made me?

Either way, it’s good,

Some guilt which I carried for years. Eventually you have to forgive yourself and move on, - or go mad.