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When You Are Over The Hill.

(18 Posts)
Maywalk Sun 24-Oct-21 11:26:11

You and your teeth don't sleep together.

You try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover you aren't wearing any.

At the breakfast table, you hear snap, crackle, pop and you're not eating cereal.

Your back goes out but you stay home.

You wake up looking like your
driver's license photo.

It takes two tries to get up from the couch.

When your idea of a night out is
sitting on the patio.

When happy hour is a nap.

When you're on vacation and your energy
runs out before your money does.

When you say something to your kids that your mother said to you and you always hated it.

When all you want for your birthday
is to not be reminded of your age.

When you step off the curb and look down one more time to make sure the street is still there.

Your idea of weight lifting is standing up.

It takes longer to rest than it did to get tired.

Your memory is shorter and
your complaining lasts longer.

Your address book has mostly
names that start with Dr.

You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.

The pharmacist has become your new best friend.

Getting "lucky" means you found your car
in the parking lot.

The twinkle in your eye is merely a reflection from the sun on your bifocals.

It takes twice as long - to look half as good.

Everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt,
doesn't work.

You look for your glasses for half an hour and they were on your head the whole time.

You sink your teeth into a steak -
and they stay there.

You give up all your bad habits and
still don't feel good.

You have more patience, but it is actually
that you just don't care anymore.

You finally get your head together and
your body starts falling apart.

You wonder how you could be over the hill when you don't even remember being on top of it.

Jaxjacky Sun 24-Oct-21 11:35:36

Like this?

Kalu Sun 24-Oct-21 11:45:58

Excellent summary Maywalk which had me nodding my head at each line. Seeing it in black and white though makes it more real. 😂

MerylStreep Sun 24-Oct-21 11:55:35

Once again, brilliant. 👏👏👏👏

annodomini Sun 24-Oct-21 12:19:25

I wish I did wake up looking like my driving licence photo. The DVLA hasn't asked me for a new one for the last 20 years!

timetogo2016 Sun 24-Oct-21 13:25:34

Maywalk you have made my day AGAIN.
Please don`t leave Gransnet.

Lincslass Sun 24-Oct-21 13:31:53

Maywalk

You and your teeth don't sleep together.

You try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover you aren't wearing any.

At the breakfast table, you hear snap, crackle, pop and you're not eating cereal.

Your back goes out but you stay home.

You wake up looking like your
driver's license photo.

It takes two tries to get up from the couch.

When your idea of a night out is
sitting on the patio.

When happy hour is a nap.

When you're on vacation and your energy
runs out before your money does.

When you say something to your kids that your mother said to you and you always hated it.

When all you want for your birthday
is to not be reminded of your age.

When you step off the curb and look down one more time to make sure the street is still there.

Your idea of weight lifting is standing up.

It takes longer to rest than it did to get tired.

Your memory is shorter and
your complaining lasts longer.

Your address book has mostly
names that start with Dr.

You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.

The pharmacist has become your new best friend.

Getting "lucky" means you found your car
in the parking lot.

The twinkle in your eye is merely a reflection from the sun on your bifocals.

It takes twice as long - to look half as good.

Everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt,
doesn't work.

You look for your glasses for half an hour and they were on your head the whole time.

You sink your teeth into a steak -
and they stay there.

You give up all your bad habits and
still don't feel good.

You have more patience, but it is actually
that you just don't care anymore.

You finally get your head together and
your body starts falling apart.

You wonder how you could be over the hill when you don't even remember being on top of it.

We couldn’t stop laughing, thank you.

BlueSky Sun 24-Oct-21 13:34:31

Everyone’s a winners! Yes I finally look like my passport photo only older! Thanks for a much needed laugh Maywalk! gringringrin

M0nica Sun 24-Oct-21 13:54:33

Having read the OP I clearly have a very long way to go. In fact I cannot even see the hill - and that is on a lovely clear day, using binoculars.

Charleygirl5 Sun 24-Oct-21 15:08:54

anno the DVLA is too busy processing photos at present. My driving licence was sent on the 31st of August, if I do not receive a new licence soon I will have to send another mugshot.

annodomini Sun 24-Oct-21 16:15:19

Charley, if that's the case, they must have been processing photos for 20 years, since I got my first photo-licence!

annodomini Sun 24-Oct-21 16:15:19

Charley, if that's the case, they must have been processing photos for 20 years, since I got my first photo-licence!

annodomini Sun 24-Oct-21 16:17:07

I don't know why these repeats keep happening to me. Does my finger tremble on the key?

AGAA4 Sun 24-Oct-21 16:22:51

Maywalk 😃 It really is good to laugh. Keep posting.

crazyH Sun 24-Oct-21 16:25:03

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

PollyTickle Sun 24-Oct-21 16:39:16

Superb again Maywalk, we've been in stitches reading these. Only just recovered from yesterday's hilarious selection.

Kim19 Sun 24-Oct-21 18:22:55

When you get to the other side?

EkwaNimitee Sun 24-Oct-21 19:17:27

All so true, Maywalk! They don’t all apply to me yet and I’m not saying which do! Make me smile though.