Women mourn, men replace

nanna8

We must be a dissolute lot here. Very,very few actually get married. They either live together or have a close relationship with someone. I wonder if the children from the two oppose marriage because of complications with wills etc ? Just a thought.

Inheritance is a serious consideration if you remarry, so is security for your new wife or partner, the love of your life is not going to be happy if she is to be chucked out when you die.

My father did remarry, it lasted 5 yrs, they had nothing in common, having learned from his experience I made sure I chose carefully, there is no shortage of lonely ladies looking for the right man.

We must be a dissolute lot here. Very,very few actually get married. They either live together or have a close relationship with someone. I wonder if the children from the two oppose marriage because of complications with wills etc ? Just a thought.

When an old friend of mine died it was only a couple of months before her widower moved an old college friend in. It only lasted about a year. (Long enough for her to teach him a bit of cooking!) I've known several couples who have got divorced and the husbands have found some one new very quickly.

Curiously, I know very few widowers - or ex-widowers. Most of the men of my family, friendship or acquaintance died before their wives.

My father was a widower from my mother's death to his own, some 10 years later.

A lot of generalisations in this thread. I agree with other posters who say people who gave been happily married tend to remarry more quickly.
It's such a personal matter and really no one else's business.

Nothing scientific about my own contribution, but my parents had a very large circle friends and the only ones who remarried and both very quicky) after losing a partner were men. I don't think of one woman in their circle who remarried, let alone quickly.

Maybe someone explain if men are lonely why there are at least 4 times as many women as men on dating sites. I found at least half of the older women are widowed as others have said finding the “right” partner is not easy

^Women understandably have more emotional attachment to their dear departed than men do

Well, that's a revelation 😲^

Revelation to me too.

Why David49?

Well if this were MN they'd be saying that it's because basically most men regard women as service animals

Durga

I think men are more lonely than women because they don’t have the kind of friendships we do.

I agree. But my take on the whole thing is: look at nature. Every wildlife programme on TV shows the male of the species looking for a female to mate with. He doesn’t care which female-any one will do. But the females are fussy and often reject the male. I think this is the case with humans.

I agree about the indecent speed with which some men start to look for a new partner. I’m in a few widows’ groups and recently one bloke posted that his wife had died on Halloween but he was now “ready to find a new companion” (Poor woman’s corpse was probably still warm when he signed up!) I’ve been widowed 5 years and would never consider another relationship - who wants to risk getting together with some saggy old man who just wants someone to cook their tea?

I agree with the OP comments.

And would even go further and say a lot of widowed or older divorced married men. Will marry the first available female that comes along.
Whether they are suitable or not.

Also know of a few real horrors who on finding out their wives had a terminal illness.
Went out to actively start looking for a new girlfriend who they subsequently very quickly
married after their wifes death

l rest my case.

theworriedwell

David49

A friend of mine was widowed a year ago at 77 I didn’t think he would be looking for female company but he is, surprise to me. Women understandably have more emotional attachment to their dear departed than men do, but in many cases it’s economic reasons that finding a new partner more attractive than staying single.

I often think that the widows/widowers who had happy marriages who moved on fastest. They miss what they had and try to fill the gap.

Well the three I spoke of in my post above all had happy marriages.
Perhaps one was trying to find that happiness again, the other two think they can never replace their dear wives.

David49

A friend of mine was widowed a year ago at 77 I didn’t think he would be looking for female company but he is, surprise to me. Women understandably have more emotional attachment to their dear departed than men do, but in many cases it’s economic reasons that finding a new partner more attractive than staying single.

I often think that the widows/widowers who had happy marriages who moved on fastest. They miss what they had and try to fill the gap.

Whingey

I moved away some years ago thanks

Good for you. I hope you've found a nicer church.

David49

A friend of mine was widowed a year ago at 77 I didn’t think he would be looking for female company but he is, surprise to me. Women understandably have more emotional attachment to their dear departed than men do, but in many cases it’s economic reasons that finding a new partner more attractive than staying single.

Women understandably have more emotional attachment to their dear departed than men do

Well, that's a revelation 😲

We know at least three widowers. One moved on very quickly and got married again, he was bereft when his dear wife died and just couldn't cope. Neither of the other two have found new partners or wives although they do go out socially.
All lost their wives over ten years ago.

I moved away some years ago thanks

A friend of mine was widowed a year ago at 77 I didn’t think he would be looking for female company but he is, surprise to me. Women understandably have more emotional attachment to their dear departed than men do, but in many cases it’s economic reasons that finding a new partner more attractive than staying single.

Whingey

Everyone at my church took the Mickey out of a man in the choir and when my husband died they tried to marry him off to me!2 word answer and second one was off!

Church members all taking the Mickey out of a man in the choir. I think you need another church. Their behaviour is vile.

Nearly four years since my DH died and I still miss the man he was. As Maw points out, neither of us was perfect but sixty years of shared experience, jokes and decision making leaves a huge hole which nothing and nobody else could fill. And, modest bank account apart, there is little to recommend me these days so this unasked for different life is all there is and I need to make the best of it.

Everyone at my church took the Mickey out of a man in the choir and when my husband died they tried to marry him off to me!2 word answer and second one was off!

hollysteers

It’s striking how quickly men remarry after being widowed. I see it amongst people I know and in the media.
Without being judgmental, I cannot imagine marrying again five years after my husband died and wonder why our mindsets are so different.
What are your thoughts?

My mother remarried ten months after my father died so I'd say your generalisation is wrong.

I wonder if any of the original posters have changed their mind.

BlueBelle

This thread is four years old !!

I thought that too, but I guess the discussion is still relevant.

This thread is four years old !!