Portion sizes for a pre school child

Could you just have a chat with the parents, saying " I love to see the children enjoying their food but woukd prefer not to waste food if they can't manage it. So I will serve smaller portions and add extra if they want seconds. That way anything left over can be frozen or rehashed for another time!"

That way everyone is clear that you are not depriving tge children, you are just ensuring no wastage

I agree smaller portions and seconds if wanted seems best way to go. I abhor waste.I dont think we should be encouraging children to overeat or praise them for empty plates- it gives the wrong message.

We had those when we were skint.
All the leftover bits and bobs.

My children and grandchildren always love/loved “ goody plates” it could be a boiled egg, carrot and cheese sticks, some prawns, apple slices, you get the idea!
Lots of different textures and flavours, really healthy and inexpensive.

I’m easily overfaced by a loaded plate as was one of our DDs-mealtimes we’re hard work. She doesn’t eat a lot now.
I can’t stand waste-I would be tempted, instead of binning food, to scrape it into a container to freeze for me for later!

Yes I'm impressed by the way my GC start with reasonable portions and have a little extra if desired. My Mum was a full plates and 'eat it up or no pudding' person. Think I probably did overeat as a child but maybe it was healthier food in wartime. Can't remember much detail. We sure didn't do waste and I'm still of that ilk now.

Your approach sounds sensible to me, nansagem.

I don't like waste, bit more to the point, I always think "Oh, I could have eaten that!"

I agree totally with you OP. My own children, now well in their 40’s, were expected to not waste food, I served a reasonable amount and offered seconds if needed.

I do the same with the GC, sometimes ‘their eyes are bigger than their belly’, and they know they can have seconds if they finish what’s on their plates. As GS said once when he was younger ‘You don’t like waste do you Granny?’

I have three other GC in Australia, their mum, our DD, seemed to offer them far more at meals, plus snacks, and didn’t seem to mind if they wasted stuff. Think this stemmed from my Aussie SIL, who seemed to equate big meals with big, strong healthy kids, a rather macho image he rather liked.

But I think many parents nowadays pile up their children’s plates, then think nothing of scraping it in the bin.

OP your approach sounds sensible to me. My mother always served big portions,which I tended to do as well. I have always struggled with my weight as have my daughters to a certain degree.
My eldest daughter has two boys aged 5 and nearly 3. She has always paid attention to a healthy diet. Her approach is the same as yours. The boys have healthy fresh meals in portions that initially to me seemed small,as do her portions for adult meals.
It was only after I changed my diet from plans where some foods are unlimited to a calorie controlled one I realised how big my portions were!
Dear GC do have treats occasionally but snacks between meals are not processed foods and they normally drink milk/ water.
They are happy,healthy and active and eat a varied diet.
Obesity is such a problem now and I think both my daughter and I want GC to have a healthy approach to eating. Food is an enjoyable social occasion but other ways are found for treats/ comfort.
Choice and individual taste are respected.
I do feel large portions of food and the constant opportunity to graze contribute to problems later on.

Sounds like the parents make more than double what they eat. Skinny is good BTW. If they did baby led weaning then this could be the follow on from that. My DGC are slightly similar. Parents offer more and some is binned. I offer less and usually eaten. Can have more if they want but rarely do. All of us conform to no pudding if not enough is eaten from main course. DGD gets up at 6 so by teatime around 5.30 is tired and crochety especially on nursery days so battling with her is a hiding to nothing. She is 4. Her brother is almost 8. He now wolfs down most things and asks for more. He was like his sister till this year. I think it's just normal but depends a bit on upbringing. DSiL family pile stuff on plates then lots goes in bin. Our family put what we will eat on plates and generally finish it. Sometimes with young children you pick the battle! I think to keep the peace just do what the parents do. I have to say though DD2 works in CAMHS and since pandemic they are struggling with children and teenagers with anorexia - some critically ill. It is one way kids can can control something in their life when everything else has gone haywire - and it is not just teenagers. So when you have DGC pre-teens and older and their intake of food changes - be alert.

Could you try allowing them to serve themselves?

I always hated how my Mother piled my plate up and I had to eat it all before I could leave the table. When I had my children they always served themselves from the dishes on the table.