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Ho ruddy hum. The two big C’s

(29 Posts)
Silverlady79 Thu 11-Nov-21 10:56:54

Cancer. Covid.

Just awaiting my mastectomy but husband went car racing and five days later started a cough. I begged him to take a test. “ it’s just a cough, I’ve been double jabbed” …
Fast forward five or so days and I lose my sense of taste and small. Annoying little cold but no more.
So my November 15 th op is now on hold till at least the new year and I’m just so angry. It’s taken such a lot of positive thoughts for me to get to this stage. The final insult was he didn’t say gosh, sorry. Hope it wasn’t me. Yikes. Just nothing except when can he get a. PCR test. We got there and he pushed in front of me to get there first!! Yes, I’m hurt. And that’s why I’m whingeing. Apologies.

VioletSky Thu 11-Nov-21 17:55:15

I'm so sorry he didn't do more to protect you physically and mentally at such an awful time in your life.

I hope you have people around you that can give you that support.

Daisymae Thu 11-Nov-21 17:51:03

That's incredibly selfish behaviour. Did you ask him not to go? I think that you need to talk to him about how you are feeling. It might make you feel better at any rate. Hope you are getting some support from friends and family. X

Dogsmakemesmile Thu 11-Nov-21 17:28:04

So very sorry you have been treated this way at this terribly difficult stage in your life. You should be being cossetted (if you can stand being cossetted!) not treated as irrelevant. It sounds like a pattern of behaviour. Put yourself first for the next few months. Have you others around you? Others have posted good advice here.x

Calistemon Thu 11-Nov-21 16:13:57

I'm so sorry, Siverlady, I'd be fuming too.
^ We got there and he pushed in front of me to get there first!!^ He's have sore ears and possibly sore shins if he'd done that to me.

Sending you all best wishes and hope all goes well with your operation. If your pcr test is negative is there a chance it can still go ahead on the earlier date or perhaps before January?
flowers

AGAA4 Thu 11-Nov-21 15:59:39

So sorry you are waiting for your op through the selfishness of your H. I understand that you just want to get this over and start to heal and he has scuppered this for you.
It's very hard to live with self centered people.

Eviebeanz Thu 11-Nov-21 15:40:10

Very best wishes to you x

Summerlove Thu 11-Nov-21 15:28:09

I’m so very sorry.

What a mess.

Silverlady79 Thu 11-Nov-21 15:21:40

Thankyou, everyone. You are so kind to respond. I just don’t know how it’s going to work out. I’m just at the end of my tether with his total selfishness. This has been the straw that…. Well, you know. At a time when I need to feel strong I’m just withering on the vine and considering a solicitor because I just don’t know how, going forward, I’m going to cope with my feelings around him. I’ve watched the crazy excessive spending, all on him, and I mean crazy. If I said amounts you wouldn’t believe it. I am beginning to wonder if it’s some sort of personality disorder tbh.

Sar53 Thu 11-Nov-21 14:47:56

I'm so sorry to hear this Silverylady, what on earth was he thinking.
I can imagine your frustration and anxiety and how you must have built yourself up for the op.
I wish you well for the future xx

Visgir1 Thu 11-Nov-21 13:48:04

Make him suffer when you get back home after the op!!!
Best of luck and hope you feel well soon flowers

ElaineI Thu 11-Nov-21 13:26:48

I'm so sorry Silverlady79! Did he not obey the rules of social distancing for 2 weeks prior to your op? I am having a bunion op in January and instructions are in the pack I've been sent. Mine is just a bunion though and seething on your behalf as it a much more serious surgery. Hope you feel better from Covid soon xxxx flowers

JeanneLeFol Thu 11-Nov-21 13:01:04

So sorry to hear this. Try not to let it spoil everything. Unfortunately some people have all the sensitivity of a house brick. Wishing you good luck for your future op ???

Wheniwasyourage Thu 11-Nov-21 12:57:03

Sending you hugs (virtual and socially-distanced, of course) and very best wishes, Silverlady79 flowers

Blossoming Thu 11-Nov-21 12:40:15

How horrible for you Silverlady. A total lack of consideration. I’d be furious too, and you really don’t need to be feeling like that right now. I hope your treatment goes ahead as soon as possible, please keep posting, you’ll get lots of support here x

ExDancer Thu 11-Nov-21 12:28:14

And afterwards - can you arrange to be somewhere where you'll get sympathetic care, it doesn't sound likely that he'll even make you a cup of tea.
Time to look after no 1.
Do keep us up to date with your progress.

Mapleleaf Thu 11-Nov-21 12:23:38

Oh bless you, that’s just awful. How utterly insensitive and selfish of your husband. Just a thought, but once you get the revised date, would it be possible for you to stay elsewhere for the 10 days or so leading up to the op whilst you self isolate so that you are away from him should he decide to be so thoughtless and selfish once more? I just can’t believe his attitude, and I’m so sorry for you that you’ve had to endure this behaviour. No wonder you are hurt. Certainly don’t apologise for posting, either. ?

Chewbacca Thu 11-Nov-21 12:22:36

Your anger and disappointment is well justified Silverlady, I'd be livid with him too. I wish you well.

timetogo2016 Thu 11-Nov-21 12:15:55

I agree 100% with MissA and jaylucy.
I wish you well Silverlady79.

Dogsmakemesmile Thu 11-Nov-21 12:11:15

You aren't whinging Silverlady. What a horrible set back. You must have been psyching yourself up for the 15th (I can only imagine). I am very sorry. Keep posting here. People very supportive.

silverlining48 Thu 11-Nov-21 12:09:48

I would be furious. How selfish of him. Not just that he went racing but his attitude afterwards. I am sorry and send flowers from one Silver to another.

eazybee Thu 11-Nov-21 11:40:38

I would say unbelievable, except that it is not; it is disgraceful. I hope you have friends and family to support you when you do get your operation.

ExDancer Thu 11-Nov-21 11:26:08

Oh nooo He sounds just like mine. (this is why I hate these silly GN initials - DH doesn't describe these men.)
I've often wondered if it's a touch of autism which these men have, and means they honestly can't empathise with other people AT ALL! It's very hurtful in day-to-day matters, but in your case it must have reduced you to despair.
You have dug some strength up from somewhere which is amazing, but at a time like this you need hugs and encouragement too. Do you have any family? Any daughters or daughters in law who might read him the riot act and point out how cruel and selfish he's being?
Sending love and hugs and masses of flowers flowers
Are you in touch with Macmillan? You'll get enormous help from these lovely ladies, be frank with them about your husband's attitude and you'll have allies and amazing support.

hollysteers Thu 11-Nov-21 11:15:42

Selfishness is one of the worst traits to live with.
Such a pity as you end up really disliking the culprit.
Wishing you all the best for your procedure.

Grandmadinosaur Thu 11-Nov-21 11:12:17

Oh that was really selfish and unforgivable. You deserve better support at this time. I’m
so sorry you have to wait and hope it won’t be too long a delay.
?

Rosie51 Thu 11-Nov-21 11:12:12

Silverlady79 I'm so sorry you're going through this. Your husband has been totally thoughtless towards you, no wonder you're hurt. I do hope he shows some remorse and consideration to you going forward. Waiting for your revised operation date will be stressful, but do try to look after yourself. flowers