Shared affections

oodles

Skye17 even if it was a one off it can still be remembered for decades by the child. The only thing in this case if it was a one off us a humble apology by whoever broke the toys and replacing them, and a promise to child that it will not happen again as it is wrong, and to keep to that promise

Yes, I agree. I should have said ‘not as bad’, rather than ‘not so bad’.

In no way should the grandmother take the little boy off and give him loads of attention. When she leaves he will be bereft. His parents are being abusive and need to be tactfully encouraged to give the child the attention he needs.
My parents looked after the baby between feeds so that I could take his brother out and give him quality one on one time. When I was nursing the baby I was cuddling his brother while playing audio nursery rhyme tapes or reading to him. The parents need to be the ones giving the attention.
My heart goes out to that poor child.

Gabrielle56

A BIG FAT WHOAAA!!! Wtf ARE they thinking?!?!? They have to STOP their cruel and damaging behaviour NOW! what are they? Completely stupid? Worthy of a call to health visitor at least and I'd threaten to tell child protection if they didn't pack it in immediately.idiots! Your darling little fella is NOT reacting to his sis- he IS reacting to his parents cruel and nasty behaviour by suddenly without reason, IGNORING him!! Poor little chap.dont you r dare sit watching this cruelty again- grow a spine and stop them! She's your daughter , read her the riot act then suggest she act like an adult and seek assistance .... unbelievable

What she says! ^

Skye17 even if it was a one off it can still be remembered for decades by the child. The only thing in this case if it was a one off us a humble apology by whoever broke the toys and replacing them, and a promise to child that it will not happen again as it is wrong, and to keep to that promise

Op last seen on Wednesday…….

PS to last comment

If breaking up the toy was a one-off and the mother thought better of it so it never happens again, it’s not so bad. As a rule it would be appalling.

Harmonypuss

OP - their child, their rules, not your place to say or do anything, especially if you want to maintain a relationship with your daughter and HER children.

Breaking up a child’s toys if they misbehave is not a normal or reasonable rule. It’s harmful to the child. This is worse than doing that in general, because it’s done in the context of the child being upset by the arrival of a new sibling and getting less attention. He needs understanding and more attention and he’s getting harshness instead.

I generally agree with not giving advice unless it’s asked for, but if a child’s welfare is seriously affected it’s different. The question is more what you can do and what is the best way.

I certainly think tact and care are very necessary.

A BIG FAT WHOAAA!!! Wtf ARE they thinking?!?!? They have to STOP their cruel and damaging behaviour NOW! what are they? Completely stupid? Worthy of a call to health visitor at least and I'd threaten to tell child protection if they didn't pack it in immediately.idiots! Your darling little fella is NOT reacting to his sis- he IS reacting to his parents cruel and nasty behaviour by suddenly without reason, IGNORING him!! Poor little chap.dont you r dare sit watching this cruelty again- grow a spine and stop them! She's your daughter , read her the riot act then suggest she act like an adult and seek assistance .... unbelievable

What will happen when all the toys are broken I wonder. Taking toys away would really only be appropriate if he had been bashing the baby with the toy or deliberately making noise perhaps. Those are natural. Consequences that the child will be able to understand, well eventually.
I used to pop baby sister on my back where she would sleep sometimes and we would almost be just the 2 of us again, we'd do ordinary things together and also special things that I'd planned, I had a ladybird book of things to do like I remember making and painting a postbox that was a fun posting toy, but what it is is not relevant its spending time with the older one.
It is also very disrespectful of the child the toys are his, and while he has the responsibility to be thoughtful of others with them, so you can put them away for example.
Breaking toys is not a sustainable method of dealing with the situation and even worse storing up problems for the future

As the OP has not responded I am wondering if this is a hoax post.

So sad for that poor little boy. The parents are obviously struggling to cope and need help which is why she has asked her mum to stay over.
It was cruel and childish to break his toys even if it’s something like Lego, that’s just as bad if not worse if the child has sat ages making something he was proud of. It does sound like the parents had a toddler tantrum themselves and the child is just going to learn this behaviour from them.
If this is what they’re like when Grandma is around to help what is it like when no ones around. Could have just been a one off mad moment but it’s worrying. You should say something in a kind and as diplomatic way if you can or you may regret it once you’re back home. It might pull them up on their own behaviour if you tell them how upset you are about what you have witnessed.

Harmonypuss: 'their child, their rules' - ridiculous! A child is not a possession. We all have a responsibility to watch out for their welfare (animals too) that's how a society works.

It's the way we intervene that's vitally important. We use tact and diplomacy. We help to solve the problem of his difficult behaviour. We try to understand how he feels and why he reacts the way he does. Then we offer to take him out for the day or keep him occupied when they're busy.

I would like to clarify my position re Lego etc. I just thought that the OP’s use of the the words “break it up” was odd if she meant “break” so it was a guess because I also could not believe that parents would literally destroy a child’s toys.
However it was only my interpretation and still totally the wrong way to behave or”punish” a child.
It might be useful if Maine returned to explain a little more and tell us if this is a regular occurrence etc.

It's everyone's place to speak out against cruel treatment of the vulnerable.

OP - their child, their rules, not your place to say or do anything, especially if you want to maintain a relationship with your daughter and HER children.

The op talks about toys. Plural.
Presumably meaning different a few different toys.
So yes, a bit of imaginary dot joining going on.

You are not joining the dots, you are judging the action of the parents

Legos are supposed to be done and undone all the time - that the nature of construction toys

And you’re joining too many dots Hithere it is only a rumour it could be Lego the poster did not tell us what toys are being broken so you I m afraid are jumping to conclusions even more than others have

Calistemon

Riggie

Do we know this was Lego or were they breaking his toys

We don't. Someone decoded that it must be lego and everyone else has jumped on the bandwagon.

Thanks Riggie, I thought I'd missed something.

I just guessed …..don’t shoot me,

The parents behaviour is cruel and will set up enormous problems for themselves when he is older. Perhaps you can find a book to read him and do a lot of play time with him.

'Big Brother Daniel' by Angela C. Santomero
children's books about welcoming a new baby
For any avid Daniel Tiger fans, this book is a no-brainer. In this story, based on an episode of Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood , Daniel is learning how to be a good big brother to his new baby sister, Margaret.

Ages 1-5

this sort of book might help you get your grandson on board.

My toys were ruined as a punishment as a child and I never forgiven the carer who did that.

Riggie

*Do we know this was Lego or were they breaking his toys*

We don't. Someone decoded that it must be lego and everyone else has jumped on the bandwagon.

Thanks Riggie, I thought I'd missed something.

I am horrified at this, and they are storing up problems in later life. This boy will NEVER bond with his new sibling, but will always resent them and the parents are to blame. My mother was like this with my middle sister. She used to disappear into another room with my younger sister, and I was about 3. She told me to keep the hell out of the room because it was "mother and bonding time." I have had difficulties all my life with jealousy over my sister. This daughter should be told bluntly. Her conduct is cruel and vicious. Her son is only a baby himself.

Do we know this was Lego or were they breaking his toys

We don't. Someone decoded that it must be lego and everyone else has jumped on the bandwagon.

I don't know what to say but I feel this is abusive behaviour. I hope they see the error of their ways. This little chap needs to be treated as the special "big boy" before he is damaged by their thoughtlessness. xx

Nicaveron

If I was Maine 52 I’d just gather up my grandson and take him off out for a nice special trip to the toy shop. Let him choose a special present. Then they his mother AND father that you do NOT expect this to be broken by them on any account. In fact I think I’d take him off out every day. And if his mother complained I’d say I was giving her space and time for the new infant
I thought she wanted help and see how she gets on.

This is a fantastic way to be asked to leave.

Please don’t try to pull rank on them

There was a similar gap between my late husband and his brother, I've just remembered a story my late MIL told me. She'd left his brother in the pram in the back yard and realised he had been crying for a long time - when she went out the pram was full of water My husband had put the hose in the pram and turned it on. He couldn't remember it as an adult.

I have been thinking about your grandson today and wondering what is happening to him. Do let us know what happens.