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How can parents do this?

(267 Posts)
Elless Wed 24-Nov-21 12:45:27

Reading the paper this morning, I can't get the image of that little boy out of my head, I cried when I read it - I hope his parents suffer.

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-10235117/CCTV-shows-tragic-Arthur-desperately-try-pick-duvet-floor-forced-sleep.html

SueDonim Tue 30-Nov-21 23:13:17

More agonisingly awful evidence from the trial today, that poor wee Arthur knew his father was going to try to kill him one day.

I’ve never supported capital punishment but by god, this case is testing my resolve. angry sad

MissAdventure Mon 29-Nov-21 08:09:04

I'm afraid they don't always do their best, though.
Baby P was failed by multiple agencies, that was the official finding.

VioletSky Mon 29-Nov-21 08:02:54

Being a social worker must be an incredibly stressful and difficult job. I have no doubt much too high case loads too.

I feel terrible for everyone involved in this case, they got it all wrong but they can only do their best with the time and information they have

tickingbird Sun 28-Nov-21 23:41:23

Just to clarify Iam64, I don’t blame SW’s for these dreadful cases - they aren’t the ones inflicting the injuries after all but they do fall woefully short at times. The hackneyed phrase ‘lessons will be learned’ get trotted out but nothing does appear to be learned unfortunately.

tickingbird Sun 28-Nov-21 23:32:07

I’m sorry Iam64 but what I said about the social workers and Baby Peter’s mother giving birth in prison is factual. Not inflammatory and inaccurate. All true. It was also discussed/debated in parliament. The social workers were overruled by the police.

Iam64 Sun 28-Nov-21 21:17:21

The photograph I saw was in the DM on line.
Tickingbird, apologies, I should have made clear I was referring to your posts about social workers.

Calistemon Sun 28-Nov-21 17:55:54

I only saw the ones published in the online papers.

Yes, I do know.
I'm glad to be retired.

MissAdventure Sun 28-Nov-21 17:50:08

Some abusers actively enjoy being able to hold such power.
Hot/cold
Nice/spiteful.

Where were the photos? Social media? angry

Calistemon Sun 28-Nov-21 17:19:33

Iam64

Indeed Miss Adventure. One of the things that brought me to tears about this case, was his parents filming him weeping, wanting his gran. The photograph she is said to have shown to police and social workers, of bruising to his shoulder,along with other concerns appear to have been dismissed. Abusive parents often accuse grandparents/aunts/separated parents of making malicious allegations. No doubt a public enquiry will establish the facts here. His grandmother must be heart broken in grief.
The paramedics, doctors, police, social workers, everyone involved in this will carry the pain, grief, anger and responsibility for ever

What changed his father from a seemingly loving Dad into this cruel, vile person who enjoyed inflicting pain on his little boy? Photos show little Arthur and his father enjoying happy moments together; presumably this was before he met the step-mother.
Was he so easily manipulated by her or did he always cover up that side of him?

tickingbird Sun 28-Nov-21 13:01:11

Your reports are inflammatory, inaccurate and don’t develop debate on how children are better safeguarded

Whose reports?

MissAdventure Sun 28-Nov-21 12:01:20

How desperately sad. sad
That poor, poor little soul.
I can't bear to read about his lonely little life.
Baby P, and the suffering he went through affected me for years, having got probably far too invested in the story.

I would bring back the death sentence for these useless wastes of space. (Unpopular opinion, I know)

Iam64 Sun 28-Nov-21 11:43:22

Indeed Miss Adventure. One of the things that brought me to tears about this case, was his parents filming him weeping, wanting his gran. The photograph she is said to have shown to police and social workers, of bruising to his shoulder,along with other concerns appear to have been dismissed. Abusive parents often accuse grandparents/aunts/separated parents of making malicious allegations. No doubt a public enquiry will establish the facts here. His grandmother must be heart broken in grief.
The paramedics, doctors, police, social workers, everyone involved in this will carry the pain, grief, anger and responsibility for ever

MissAdventure Sun 28-Nov-21 11:37:39

It's something to bear in mind when giving the advice to "keep your beak out" of parents' business, as I've seen it so charmingly written here, when grandparents are worried about issues with their grandchildren.

Iam64 Sun 28-Nov-21 11:30:27

Your reports are inflammatory, inaccurate and don’t develop debate on how children are better safeguarded. Police are involved in child protection conferences - well that’s less likely given the cuts but let’s not let reality get in the way of just blaming social workers for everything that goes wtong

tickingbird Sun 28-Nov-21 10:47:54

Social workers were against Baby Peter’s mother having the baby she gave birth to in prison being taken away as it would be an abuse of HER human rights!

Feel free to read the court transcripts of his injuries before his (merciful imo) death. How anyone could be in anyway mindful of her so called rights is beyond me.

tickingbird Sun 28-Nov-21 10:10:25

Maybe they need to stop relying on people being honest in such cases. Can you imagine if the police relied on people being honest? It’s a nonsense.

OnwardandUpward Sat 27-Nov-21 22:44:07

Social services do what they can, but they are reliant on people being honest because they can only know what they know. Very often they sign people over because they think they are managing fine and there are more seemingly urgent cases

JaneJudge Sat 27-Nov-21 12:11:30

Social services have been involved with my family because of disability and I've worked with SS as part of supporting families within a previous work role and I haven't felt they've sided with the parents at all. I do agree that in certain areas the thresholds are set far too high though.

Iam64 Sat 27-Nov-21 09:01:04

tickingbird

I’ve worked with Social Services and they do work more with the parents’ needs than the children’s. When there are different reports coming in from different people there should be immediate concerns. Also as someone up thread stated the belief that different people have different standards is the norm. A friend’s daughter took a social work degree and I remember her telling us how they’re taught not to be judgemental about certain classes of society. Nonsense. Abuse is abuse and it’s nothing to do with being judgemental. Until SS do as they promise and do learn their lessons these horror stories and child suffering will continue.

They can’t save them all and it’s a difficult job but there isn’t an excuse when they’re involved and it continues under their noses.

The Children Act is the legal framework. ‘ The needs of the child are paramount’.

Yes, a non judgemental approach is needed in various professions, doctors, nurses, mental health, drug centre and social work to name a few. Being non judgemental doesn’t mean ignoring or excusing abuse.

Nana56 Fri 26-Nov-21 14:26:41

Absolutely heartbreaking. Hope they're locked up for life.

tickingbird Fri 26-Nov-21 13:06:00

I’ve worked with Social Services and they do work more with the parents’ needs than the children’s. When there are different reports coming in from different people there should be immediate concerns. Also as someone up thread stated the belief that different people have different standards is the norm. A friend’s daughter took a social work degree and I remember her telling us how they’re taught not to be judgemental about certain classes of society. Nonsense. Abuse is abuse and it’s nothing to do with being judgemental. Until SS do as they promise and do learn their lessons these horror stories and child suffering will continue.

They can’t save them all and it’s a difficult job but there isn’t an excuse when they’re involved and it continues under their noses.

oodles Fri 26-Nov-21 12:52:50

Don't blame the hairdresser to much, even had she reported it it might not have been actioned
Baby Star who is mentioned above had concerns reported to social services 5 times by 5 different people. Great grandma was told she'd be introuble with the police if she did it again , it was treated as malicious reporting
That's 5 times by 5 different people., both family members and strangers
Some bells ought to have rung, heck Big Ben ought to have rung. Yes people do report maliciously sometimes but strangers don't

Kate1949 Fri 26-Nov-21 12:52:17

Thanks everyone. I don't know what ai would do without GN..I won't post on this thread again as I seem to have made it all about me.

nightowl Fri 26-Nov-21 12:17:31

Kate you are definitely not a whinger. You’re a survivor. Emotional scars may be invisible but they are always there. I hope life has been kinder to you as an adult.

Smileless2012 Fri 26-Nov-21 11:40:09

"I never had one as a child" here's a BIG (((hug))) for you Kate flowers.