What qualities do you most admire in your friends

One of my friends recently told me she felt she could truly be herself with me. I realised, seeing this post, that I have a circle of close friends, some I have known for decades, all of whom accept me just as I am, allowing me to be my true self with them....and thereby to pass the quality on. I am indeed fortunate!

Gosh, silvertwigs you and your granddaughter do need some help. I would get in touch with your local police station, report your concerns and get proper advice on how to keep yourselves safe.
I hope your granddaughter sees sense soon and gets him out of your lives. Good luck.

Silvertwigs. Mmm all the research about abusive relationships say that the person abused goes back to their abuser, around 9 times before they see the light.
There is absolutely nothing you can do except grit your teeth and wait and be supportive when your Granddaughter reappears. Surely his threats can be logged with the police? So they have a record for the future, as we all know it will happen again.
My philosophy now is not to allow myself to get upset about things I can’t do anything about. I don’t always follow my own advice, but as I am reaching the last few decades of my life…if I am asked to do something, I ask myself “ if you knew you were going to die tomorrow, would you worry about this? go there . Do this?
I can only send you a virtual hug and xxxxx I am so sorry that you are in this position as it’s a difficult one.

@ LauraNorderr. I need some help here?

My 19 year old GD lives with me and I would like to say we had a fab Nan and GD relationship? She came here as the result of an abusive BF. He was vile and threatened me. ‘Going to burn your house down, smash your car up, get you beaten up’ etc. Now I’m horrified to find she back with him. I’m worried about her and me. But I’ve secretly questioned her loyalty to me?

I am so judgemental and picky. I like my friends to be interesting and have been somewhere and done something with themselves.
I certainly like them to be clean and not to have a dog or smoke. Although I do have a friend who adores dogs and is beyond soppy about them. I grit my teeth, which doesn’t do them much good. I also don’t like being licked by friends dogs or covered in dog hairs.
I like friends to have the same interests, so that precludes quite a few people.
I haven’t got masses of friends anyway as I am controlling. Others who are also controlling are out, for obvious reasons.
It’s helpful if they have roughly the same income as me, as when we go on trips I don’t worry about picking up all the tabs.

Loyalty, humour and just knowing they are there for you. Through lonely lockdowns I really learnt a lot about some of my friends and it really showed me the ones that actually care and the friendships that are really one sided.

The ability to put up with me

Loyalty, being consistent in there communication. Not being late. Being supportive.

We all seem to agree on loyalty, honesty, humour and being there for each other through good times and bad.
I think being a good listener is important, but also being prepared to give something of yourself.
I like to think I’m a good listener but don’t often share my own problems so that on the odd occasion I do, people are taken by surprise. I’m working on it.

When we lived in France I got to know an English woman who lived nearby.
One of the first things she told me was that she’d ‘culled’ some of her friends because she had far too many.
I soon realised that although I got to know everything about her, she knew nothing about me because she didn’t pause to find out.
I suspect the ‘culling’ was probably the other way around. What a horrible thing to do or even to say.

Beswitched

Being there for you at a bad time.

Listening to you, not constantly interrupting to tell you their own experience of something similar.

Honesty…and being honest with yourself too! I think I’m guilty of interrupting with my own experiences ?

Loyalty and laughter of which I am blessed, life is good.

Kindness and things in common matter to me.

Oh no - fat finger syndrome!! I sent that before I’d checked it! You’ll no doubt be able to make some sense if it though! That strange Scandinavian looking word in the middle should be “something”. Other errors too - aggggh! ? welcome back LauraNorderr.

Being there for you at a bad time.

Listening to you, not constantly interrupting to tell you their own experience of something similar.

I do think that different friends offer different qualities, bug most of my friends and good listeners (sknethjng which I - very modestly! - am too). I do love a good sense of humour though - st the right time and in the right place of course.

I am blessed to have some really lovely friends.. Work colleagues that I've known for 30 years, 3 in particular that are like sisters to me, so supportive. Other friends have a brilliant sense of humour and there's never a dull moment when we go out; some are very level-headed (unlike me, I follow my heart and not my head) and give good advice. My best friend I have known since I was 11 and I love that we have shared all those teenage experiences and know absolutely everything about each other. In conclusion, I think that different friends bring different things to the table, but all share the qualities of being trustworthy and loyal - I wouldn't be without them.

I'm obviously very shallow as I have "friends" for different purposes and I think I serve different purposes for them too. I've friends who share my passions and are happy to spend a whole evening talking and sharing experiences, I've got friends who just make me laugh a lot and who are great fun to be with and I've got friends who are just thoroughly nice, kind people. However, if I had to choose one thing it's knowing they want the best for me (whatever that is!).

Kindness sense of humour empathy.

Orlin very well thanks, now that’s a friend I couldn’t be without.

Thanks Lemon I see I’m just in time for the annual Christmas ball at Lemongrove Hall. I’ll be along at P just to make sure there’s prosecco.

LauraNorderr

Yes definitely generosity of spirit especially when it’s gin

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Welcome back Laura and hope that Orlin is well.?

Josianne

The abitlty to listen, and to pick up from where we left off.

Good qualities in anyone, I agree.
Not being a bore comes next.

But seriously generosity of spirit is so important. Sharing the joy in each others accomplishments and enjoying each others happiness.

Yes definitely generosity of spirit especially when it’s gin