What qualities do you most admire in your friends

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Seamus89, how very sad for you

Kindness, care, someone who always thinks of others and people who are being left out or excluded.

Honesty , loyalty and humour.
I lost a very good friend today and will miss her forever .

Different things from different friends I think. Since losing my husband a lady I knew but didn't think of as a friend has become a really good friend. My best friend, whilst still being close, hasn't been able to be there as she gets so upset herself if I talk about my husband. As she is very worried about contracting covid she cannot understand that I need to go to work and get out of the house (I live in an isolated location).

Kindness, loyalty and trust. My best friend is really more of a sister than anything. She is two years younger than me and our parents were friends. I cannot remember her not being part of my life as we have played together since being babies. She lived at the end of our road and has been a constant in my life. I have never known her do a mean thing either as a child, teen or adult and our mutual trust is absolute. We have been there for each other through thick and thin. She had a terrible tragedy in her life and showed equanimity throughout. I love her dearly and know that she feels the same way about me. I am blessed to have such a friend

I know this will sound strange, but I value having a friend on an equal emotional footing as me. Let me explain.

Due to my upbringing, I am very competent in life. Great for me, obviously, but I am this way because I was forced to be this way as a child. A double edged sword really. Because of this, I tend to attract friends who are needy. I had one that only called me when she needed something. She would text me to do something for her despite it being less effort for her to type what she wanted into Google. I got very tired with having to fix things for my friends.

My now best friend never needs to be fixed. Not that we do not help each other out, cry on each other shoulders, but I am not constantly cleaning up after her life because she takes care of it herself. We are able to exist as equals emotionally.

I take care of my kids, my pets and my husband. I want someone in my life who I can enjoy to be around, but that I do not have to take care of.

I also value humor. I love to laugh and like to do silly things.

I have very loyal friends who have supported me as I have them through difficult times. Since my children were babies over thirty years ago. I lost my best friend a previous work colleague who kept in touch all through my children growing up. He died eight years ago and I never stop thinking about him and I still miss him.
A friend to me is someone who accepts you as you are honest and giving trusting and worth being in your company.
CrazyH sorry you feel ignored I think you have been supportive on here and I am sure it’s been appreciated.

Kindness.

Someone who is a radiator, not a drain, you feel better for seeing them. Sense of humour, it’s difficult to dislike someone who makes you laugh.
My soulmate is complicated and hasn’t the greatest sense of humour, but intellectual and we have a lot in common, My closest girlfriend is funny and good company but we don’t have that much in common, so don’t have long periods together. As someone upthread said, different friends provide different things and I wouldn’t spend an evening with both intellectual soulmate and funny down to earth friend.
Also, what’s wrong with a gossip as long as it’s not cruel?
I believe we are the only animals/creatures on earth who do.

A good sense of humour is important to me, and I must feel I can trust them not to go gossipping about me behind my back.

A good friend should be kind and loyal and be able to trust you as much as you do them. They are happy to listen when you need an ear and not be offended if you have things going on in your life and are too busy to see them for a little while. Someone who you can chat away to for hours about trivial stuff or debate the more serious stuff in life while still having a good laugh. You may not agree on everything but you respect each other’s opinion and are there for each other through the good and bad times.

Compassion, kindness and loyalty are the qualities that my very few close and lifelong friends have in common. I tend to want to make friends with people who seem kind and caring.

I’ve thought a lot about friendship over the past few tumultuous years and come to the conclusion that a friend is someone you can contact at 2 o’clock in the morning and say
“ help me”. And they will.
Some of these friends will have a great sense of humour, some will have great problem solving skills and some will have brilliant skills of empathy and patience. But what they all have in common is that there is loyalty and trust between you.

I have a good friend who suffered a brain aneurysm some years ago. Her memory and speech are still impaired but we can still chat and laugh about things in our shared past. Shared memories are important in a friendship as are tolerance and respect. I don't see eye to eye with all my friends but we do respect each others feelings.

Confidentiality although there is only one friend I would tell a secret to in the first place.

Reliable cannot stand friends that let you down at the last minute and have obviously got a better offer.

I think we all have several acquaintances, but very few true friends.

Aonk, hadn’t really thought about it. I suppose the circle could be local friends who know each other. We have lived in the same area for almost 40 years minus 3 in France so yes a wide circle of friends with a few being closer than others but I also have close friends in other parts of the U.K. France, Sweden, Australia who don’t know each other. They are all my circle of friends as in this case I am the nucleus.

Loyalty, honesty and a sense of fun!

Is it true that “most” have a large circle of friends and an inner circle of close friends? I have 5 good friends. They don’t know each other so not a circle.

A listening ear, kindness and above all else trustworthy. Oh and make you laugh

Namsnanny I am glad to hear that. Back in the 60s I learnt basic electrical skills...have a certificate somewhere I am sure...hahaha

integrity

I recently began a book club. I invited my friends - all very different people. Those that came along happened to be from a wide array of places and situations. I was worried that, given the vast difference in personalities, there might be long silences or some awkwardness.

I was stupid to worry. Everybody got along and we had a fabulous evening - not sure we discussed the book that much though!! Lol.

I guess what we all had in common was friendship and a keen need to get together after such difficult months in lockdown.

So, I'm not sure what I look for in a friend, particularly. But I know I'm lucky to have found it in so many lovely people.

I enjoy the company of friends who make you feel uplifted and good when with them.
Also friendship to me means trust, and listening as much as talking; each taking a turn at sharing news and opinions etc.
I love having a laugh with my oldest friend - we have so many incidents we’ve shared during the last 47 years and can ‘re-visit’ and giggle about.

I cannot disagree with any of the qualities listed so far. For me, the quality I appreciate most is their trust in themselves, in me, and in the nature of friendship for them to be themselves with me, in good times and bad--that's when the best moments happen.