A Very Argy Christmas

Those feisty lasses will be well matched by some of our old Army friends who have promised to pop in, Major Catastrophe is a real hoot and General Chaos can always be relied upon to shake things up.They are staying with us at the Manor and say they can’t wait to meet the regulars in here.
Not that there’s anything remotely regular about either the staff or the customers in The Argy.

Oh no, I hope she doesn’t Doodle. I did hear that she was joining her sister for Christmas but it might just be a rumour.

Like the sound of the Poteen AGA but not keen on its namesake Dyna Mite. When she and May Hem get together they can be trouble. Casting them in our panto is a good idea Brook they might behave if we give them something to do.
Send them to Madame Pom Pom for their costumes.
I just hope Dyna’s sister Armour Geddon doesn’t decide to join them.

Think we should cast them as Drizella and Anastasia in our Cinderella panto

Deadly Dynamite. It will blow you away.
Talking of Dyna Mite (she always did) is a friend of May Hem. I heard she is back in town so keep alert. She has also been banned from the Argy.

Err sorry Brook I’m afraid Tom hasn’t been up to performing ………on stage. He’s been otherwise occupied

Glad you got the spice back muse

Worry not brook I have purchased two pairs of stockings from Madame Pom Pom for Alarma. I’ll give them to her now and she will be so busy preening she won’t worry about the blankets.

Wonderful smells coming from the cellar AGA have you got a name for our Christmas brew. We should start advertising it.

Well done muse good idea to keep it for Tom, although I’ve not seen him yet this week ?

Alarma is now having another one of her tantrums over her blanket being used for the cushions. Best keep those fishnet stockings out of the way or she’ll grab them instead

I managed to prize the bottle out of May Hem's hands. They've drunk most of the bottle. We'd better save what's left of the Shenanigan spice for Tom.

Thanks for the cushions doodle. They are too nice for drunks to fall on so I will cover them with the llamas' old blankets. The smell will make sure they sober up quickly.

May Hem was thrown out of Lemongrove Hall. I hoped she wouldn't come back to the Argy but here she is and causing mayhem as usual.
We need to prise MrM from her clutches as we need the spice.

muse he was last seen with May Hem at the front door singing Frosty the Snowman

I'll do my best AGAA4. Anyone spot where the Admiral went to?
That was the only bottle MrM had. He's still locked away making more but shouted it'll be another 48 hrs before the spice has finished fermenting.

Cheap not Cheep ?

AGA I’m on it. I will pop along to see my old mate Charlie at the Cheep and Cheerful cushion factory today and see if he’s got any rejects we can use.

muse may I have some of that special spice for the poteen? It will give it a bit of extra oomph.
May need to have plenty of scatter cushions around in the bar for when people fall down. They will need somewhere soft to land and the Admiral isn't always available.

Yep definitely the Captain, that’s me and maddy both spotted him

That’ll be the Captain muse no chance of getting it back now

I think that was the Captain muse, I saw him holding a bottle of something as he headed down to the cellar. I hope AGA’S okay with him and the bottle of spice.
Rightey oh Doodle I’m on it, I’ll be on the bar this evening, possibly in more ways than one. Those Christmas stockings are very tempting, I might say, especially with the chocolate suspenders.

Oooh lovely pressies thank you Doodle and lemon I’ve never had chocolate suspenders before
My presents to you all are specially handmade this year and I’m just putting the final touches on with the tassels, I hope you’ll like them, there multicoloured too
Shh Doodle I’m just hiding the mistletoe away from the Admiral, there’s no way he’s getting it

Sorry for the long delay Doodle but no pasties, Did my best but MrM has locked himself in the Mess Kitchen. He's been in there four days now!
Shouted that someone in a uniform has stolen his bottle of special Christmas spice for the pasties. One pinch of that stuff is enough to blow the .... of ...... . Keep your eye open for this label.

brook I’ve just found some mistletoe behind the bar. Who are you hoping to catch this year? ?

Ooh lemon a pressy. I’m so excited. I wonder what it is. Couldn’t I just sneak a little peek?
I have bought you all something from Madam Pom Pom’s for Christmas. You’ve each got a pair of her new line in Christmas stockings. Silver and gold fishnets with chocolate suspenders. ?
AGA is there no end to your brewing skills. The new poteen sounds delicious. Glad Bjorn is proving to be of use.
I’m sending Thor outside again to pull in the punters.
Maddy can you help behind the bar tonight I’m doing 2 for one on my Christmas cocktails
Sprouts on the beach
Parsnip Colada
Turnip Collins
Prawnstar Martini
Dactari

Hope muse comes in with the Christmas goodies soon.

He is hiding in here with me Maddy but as I've put him to work peeling sprouts he thinks bit may have been better to take his chances upstairs
We have a special poteen for you tonight. Bjorn has added Danish pastries and Swedish meat balls to give it a taste of Scandi.
I have added Gaviscon.

brook are you sure that lady of 102 is a hen? Anyway she was eyeing up the Captain a bit back. I think he scarpered into the cellar. Anyone seen him?

I have just ‘seen her orf’ with a large soggy quiche in the mush so hopefully she won’t be back.
I’m now here in the bar, putting me feet up and partaking of a pint of Guinness with a poteen chaser.
Have wrapped up all my presents for you girls....you will find them behind the bar, no peeking until Christmas.