Can’t-be-bothered Christmas

Haven't your doctors prescribed Prednisone for the polymyalgia, watermeadow? Its like a miracle. You get all your energy back, and even more than you had before.

So sorry for those of you suffering with your health and /or alone.
From my perspective I am cooking Christmas meals for elderly parents who hate each other and seeing them on different days. I cannot make either of them happy because each detests the other and will be jealous of time spent not with them. Both of them want us for Christmas day and Boxing day- but they live 200 miles apart and neither wants the other to have anyone.

If only they had stayed together our lives would be so much easier- and they would have each other to talk to. Both of them are lonely on their own and nothing I can do can fix this.
I've been estranged by my son, too. I've only seen my GC three times in 2021 and don't know if/when I will again. Somehow I need to scrape myself together and keep going for the sake of those who need me, despite those who don't.

What is Christmas ???

OnwardandUpward
I know it’s not a smiling matter, but I am smiling. It’s the way you write about your elderly parents. I am divorced and I know how your parents feel. Many a time, our children have invited both of us to the kids parties, but each of us at different times - I usually go the later part of the celebration.
So sorry about the estrangement from your son.
Hope you manage to enjoy the coming week ……

I haven`t put any decorations up this year, absolutely don`t feel like it, however I am content enough. Grateful to have enough food and a warm cosy home, knitting in abundance and some good books. I will see family for a few hours twice, I will be driving but need to get back so as not to drive in the dark. There isn`t any point moping about traditional christmases long gone and being widowed, it is what it is. I bought a few treats for myself, some mini lindt chocolates, a tiny waitrose christmas pudding and a few other things

This is for you :

You could be me saying that. I have a tendency towards depression and I find Christmas gets me through the dark winter months. I think people who can't be bothered are their own worst enemies. It doesn't take a lot to cheer things up a bit and makes you feel a whole lot better.

Having had a buggeration of a year we’re not having Christmas this year.
DH has just come out of hospital and is very frail and I have run out of oomph!
I will cook a Christmas dinner for the two of us but I haven’t written a single card, bought any presents and the artificial Christmas tree (that I heartedly dislike because it’s too big and looks horrible) is going to the tip!
Next year will be different I hope, we’re hoping to move house and have a new start.
Love and hugs to you all x

crazyH

This is for you :

I know someone who would love one of those, crazyH!
Unfortunately, I've already bought her Christmas present ? ???

It’s your Christmas to spend how you want and if others think you’re being miserable or whatever that is their problem. Sorry for all those dealing with loneliness, illness, pain or the deaths of family or friends - enforced “Christmas cheer and jollity” are not what you may need right now. Being kind to yourselves is important and if you can find something, however small to bring a little bit of comfort and solace, that is a blessing.

I've bought a "pull up", pre decorated tree this year - because we have moved to a smaller house and no longer have a Garden Room in which to put our original (plastic) one.
With three cats and less room, there was nowhere safe to put our "old" tree, in any event.
I've put out a few decorations and bought a new Light up festive "Robin Globe", but so far I haven't found our two Candle Bridges or the Wreaths we normally put up!
The Christmas Pressies are all posted (we moved 700 miles away), as are the Cards. Those cards we have received are taped to the glass panels of the doors in the Hall and Kitchen.

We will be just the two of us for Christmas Dinner - which I will cook for Early Christmas Eve. This is a tradition I began after living in an all electric house in a rural village, when there was a power cut on Christmas Day (2012). We live in a similarly rural location again, so I'm not taking chances!
On Christmas day, we will have a Turkey Crown with the usual trimmings, and on Boxing day, we eat Party Food, cooked as and when required (and when I can be bothered).
This consists of cold Meats, Cheeses, Salad and bolstered by hot Chips, Sausage Rolls and various party snacks.

I Wish all Gransnet Members a Very Happy Christmas. I hope it is exactly what you want it to be!

I don’t like Christmas. My Mum died at Christmas time 30 years ago so the festive feeling has always been a struggle for me. We have a ready decorated and lit tree that just needs plugging in and different version of this in the porch. I paint my
own Christmas cards and have them printed and this is both pleasurable and seen as me ‘make my the effort’. This year , one daughter is working and the other has broken her ankle and doesn’t feel up to hosting or going anywhere. We are quite looking forward to just handing out presents and then coming home to veg in front of tv. It will be my first ever Christmas st home!

Oh dear, I feel bad about moaning when some of you have far worse problems. I thought I’d get told off for feeling rather negative about Christmas but lots of others here seem to feel the same. Perhaps because we worked so hard to give our families a happy Christmas for so many years and no longer need to.
I’m so lucky to have a large family and send virtual hugs to those who will be alone at Christmas.

DH apologetically told me he didn’t feel up to putting up outside lights this year. He has had a series of health problems so I could understand why and told him he was being environmentally friendly; we don’t have many decorations inside this year either but we do have a small tree. We only give presents to our immediate family now and they have all asked for money. We stopped buying each other gifts last year as we were wasting money on buying each other things that neither of us really wanted or needed. This year we bought each other a nice warm coat in November and those are our Christmas presents to each other. I do still enjoy sending and receiving Christmas cards as there are some beautiful ones, sadly the list gets shorter each year as we lose friends or family members.

We had a power cut this afternoon so I was thinking of ways to save the Christmas food in the freezer after DH mentioned (twice) those poor people who lost their power for a week.

Luckily we found (after an hour!) that it was the candle arch which had blown the fuse.

I had a spinal operation a few weeks back and still have limited mobility. I realised I would not be able to cope with a real tree so, for the first time in 44 years, gave in and ordered a prelit facsimile. It’s now covered in the old decorations (the DH had to do the bottom ones as I cannot bend) and it is far nicer than I hoped it could be.

The DD is cooking Christmas dinner for the first time too.

Despite the drawbacks, I am feeling Christmassy and looking forward to Saturday - though I extend sympathy, goodwill and greetings to those too exhausted, ill or sad to feel up to celebrating.

Sorry to hear you have Polymyalgia. I know how horrible it can be because I’ve had it. Exhaustion and pain. Drains all energy. Varies from day to day. Steroids are the only thing that relieves the pain but they cause other issues. Look after yourself- let others do the Xmas work! Your mojo will return if the PMR goes into remission.
See if you can reduce the steroids gradually - I did this and managed to get off them completely. I then started to feel much better & energy levels returned

CrazyH its totally understandable that most people have split up for a reason and therefore do not choose to socialise with their ex. Glad I made you smile.

BlueBalou I'm so sorry it's been such an awful year. I hope you enjoy doing whatever you choose to do instead.

We did not put all our decorations up this year, but we have a tree with lights and baubles. No outside lights, no frills. Somehow we will lurch towards the day itself and get through it. And the day after. Then the day after that we might switch our phones off and spend the day in bed eating leftovers!

So sorry for everyone in pain and discomfort. I think after the year that everyone has had, there are far worse things than having a quiet Christmas.

Joined my club, watermeadow.

Madashell

It’s your Christmas to spend how you want and if others think you’re being miserable or whatever that is their problem. Sorry for all those dealing with loneliness, illness, pain or the deaths of family or friends - enforced “Christmas cheer and jollity” are not what you may need right now. Being kind to yourselves is important and if you can find something, however small to bring a little bit of comfort and solace, that is a blessing.

... good post!

It's not compulsory to enjoy Christmas and if you don't, for whatever reason, you don't need to apologise to anyone for the fact.

It means less and less to me each year, and this year with both myself and my partner suffering ill health, we are not making a big deal out of it... we're too tired - and my partner is in pain most of the time.

People should live the life that is comfortable for them, it's nobody else's business. If a quiet Christmas with no decorations is what someone wants - so be it. It doesn't harm anyone.

Inner peace is what matters. And I wish that for everyone.

HannahLoisLuke It was Bette Davis ?

It is possible to make an inner peace for youself, if on your own. First comes a warm room add some nice food, even if it is just via small but special things, then make a daily menu of sorts. Tv or radio, a pouffe to put your feet up, a side table for mugs of tea. Start with some organisation, a very clean and tidy kitchen is a good sufficient start but I like to clear table tops and chairs too, so it is nice to come into after waking up

Have some project or other, with an aim and an end, something pleasurable to do that gives a satisfying result, something engrossing. My projects this year are a knitted shawl, followed by a knitted top, my presents to myself. I don`t need christmas decor to do any of that.

I might walk around my very tiny town, there are always other single souls walking by, a nice chance to say good morning. I always get a good morning back and that keeps the human connection and lifts the spirits. We are on the way to longer days and spring from today. This is hibernation time, go with the flow and treat it as such

My mother died this Summer so I couldn't care less about Christmas this year. I am smiling and going through the motions but it's an ordeal.
Christmas is a miserable time for a lot of people even, I suspect, many of those who seem to be having a wonderful time.
And the massive song and dance that's made about it nowadays cannot help.

Same here Beswitched it’s horrible. I have my lovely dad but he lives a distance from me and has decided he wants to be by himself on the big day. I can understand that but that’s hard for me to deal with. I have a gs and a new baby gd so it should be the happiest of times. It’s so difficult.

So sorry to hear thatGrandmadinosaur.