Can’t-be-bothered Christmas

We don’t do much, just enjoy some peace and quiet, carols, tree. I often wish I could spend the day with my lovely, lively grandchildren and their parents but it doesn’t happen for a variety of reasons.
A few years ago, DH’s mother died in November, and we moved house on 13 December that year. DH went and spent Christmas with his adult daughter who had been his mother’s live-in carer. And I spent the day with my daughter. That was probably the best Christmas ever!

I am not moping about Christmas’s past, I am sad about Christmas present.

What a lovely uplifting message karmalady. It felt like a warm mum hug ?

Good post bikergran and I agree, Christmas does highlight those who we miss. I always think of my Mum and Dad and how it used to be in the UK when we went up to Leeds for Christmas. Still, I am always happy to see the young ones full of life with everything in front of them.

My mum died just over a year ago so this is the second Christmas without her. I have made a good effort lights ,tree.

But when setting the table up as I have done, all I do is sit and cry at thinking of the vacant place at the table, I just cant get past it.

My mum and dad enjoyed coming to mine and I loved waiting on her, she was 85 and spritely.

I will make the best with my 2 dds 2 gns and my dad who is inconsolable loosing his best friend of 70 yrs they met when they were 15.

Yes I will be busy cooking the turkey/beef and watching gs open his pressies no doubt we will play games.

As other have said that have had bereavement and sadness it's a very very difficult time when you see families out laughing and shopping and preparing. We don't begrudge but it makes us think of yrs gone by when things were happier.

I was listening to Radio Lancashire few Sundays ago on my way to work as they put on a church service (I'm not religious but I do listen) there was lady on Bishop Jill, she said "don't be forced into saying you enjoy the festivities not everyone is in a situation, there are many many people who just cannot cope with it or don't like it. But don't let it make you feel guilty or that you should be dancing round the lamposts, it is perfectly fine not to enjoy Christmas and not to be hard on yourself.

I actually do like Christmas but this year we are only having one of our daughters and family over. She has a 3 year old so we are doing the full bit mainly for her benefit. On Boxing Day we have 3 of our daughters and families coming over so that will be a kind of continuation but more casual, probably outside if it is hot enough. We always have presents under the tree for those who come, just a habit we have never got out of but they all seem to look forward to it. We did the Christmas Light run with 3 grandchildren last week. They were the best we have seen- probably because people have been home more so put more time into it. Whole streets full of houses covered with lights, angels, santas ,stars etc. Praise be for solar power! I have the feeling things are going to get a whole lot harder with Covid so we are making the most of it. I believe in God and Jesus Christ my Saviour who was born that we might live and that one day be with Him but meanwhile we have the gift of life on this earth so I'm feeling I should make the most of it.

Does anyone still believe in Jesus Christ on Gransnet.? I am 75 yrs now, with arthritis, back, hips, knees , shoulders, thumbs,. Plus bad digestive, hiatus hernia. I tell you this, not looking for sympathy, but to let you know that I am at the same place as most of you. I still have my husband, thank God, but for me the spirit of Christmas, and the birth of a Saviour, promising to come and save us. I Don,t fully understand God , I know that he is Spirit too. But if anyone would like to contest this belief? Would you first explain to me about the universe. What is it? Is IT God ? How big is it? Does it have an end, of is it infinite? Human beings are made of energy, we are told that energy never dies, by the scientists. We know the body dies and disintegrates, but where does our spirit go? The part that makes us who we are? Can you answer these questions? Then how do you know that there is no God? Please, tell me do.

Thank you beswitched

The important thing is to celebrate Christmas the way you want and if it is "not at all," that is OK too. We have always loved Christmas but we moved in December last year and didn't have a tree. Now we do, plus cards and sparkling lights and tinsel on pictures. There will be no-one but us to see it this year but that's all right. And if everything gets cancelled we have fridge and freezer and cupboards full of food, DVDs, CDs, books and the TV. And each other, so no chance of being bored or fed up. We count our many blessings. I hope those of you who are ill get some respite and enjoyment over the next week, whatever you can manage or want.

So sorry to hear thatGrandmadinosaur.

Same here Beswitched it’s horrible. I have my lovely dad but he lives a distance from me and has decided he wants to be by himself on the big day. I can understand that but that’s hard for me to deal with. I have a gs and a new baby gd so it should be the happiest of times. It’s so difficult.

My mother died this Summer so I couldn't care less about Christmas this year. I am smiling and going through the motions but it's an ordeal.
Christmas is a miserable time for a lot of people even, I suspect, many of those who seem to be having a wonderful time.
And the massive song and dance that's made about it nowadays cannot help.

It is possible to make an inner peace for youself, if on your own. First comes a warm room add some nice food, even if it is just via small but special things, then make a daily menu of sorts. Tv or radio, a pouffe to put your feet up, a side table for mugs of tea. Start with some organisation, a very clean and tidy kitchen is a good sufficient start but I like to clear table tops and chairs too, so it is nice to come into after waking up

Have some project or other, with an aim and an end, something pleasurable to do that gives a satisfying result, something engrossing. My projects this year are a knitted shawl, followed by a knitted top, my presents to myself. I don`t need christmas decor to do any of that.

I might walk around my very tiny town, there are always other single souls walking by, a nice chance to say good morning. I always get a good morning back and that keeps the human connection and lifts the spirits. We are on the way to longer days and spring from today. This is hibernation time, go with the flow and treat it as such

HannahLoisLuke It was Bette Davis ?

Madashell

It’s your Christmas to spend how you want and if others think you’re being miserable or whatever that is their problem. Sorry for all those dealing with loneliness, illness, pain or the deaths of family or friends - enforced “Christmas cheer and jollity” are not what you may need right now. Being kind to yourselves is important and if you can find something, however small to bring a little bit of comfort and solace, that is a blessing.

... good post!

It's not compulsory to enjoy Christmas and if you don't, for whatever reason, you don't need to apologise to anyone for the fact.

It means less and less to me each year, and this year with both myself and my partner suffering ill health, we are not making a big deal out of it... we're too tired - and my partner is in pain most of the time.

People should live the life that is comfortable for them, it's nobody else's business. If a quiet Christmas with no decorations is what someone wants - so be it. It doesn't harm anyone.

Inner peace is what matters. And I wish that for everyone.

Joined my club, watermeadow.

CrazyH its totally understandable that most people have split up for a reason and therefore do not choose to socialise with their ex. Glad I made you smile.

BlueBalou I'm so sorry it's been such an awful year. I hope you enjoy doing whatever you choose to do instead.

We did not put all our decorations up this year, but we have a tree with lights and baubles. No outside lights, no frills. Somehow we will lurch towards the day itself and get through it. And the day after. Then the day after that we might switch our phones off and spend the day in bed eating leftovers!

So sorry for everyone in pain and discomfort. I think after the year that everyone has had, there are far worse things than having a quiet Christmas.

Sorry to hear you have Polymyalgia. I know how horrible it can be because I’ve had it. Exhaustion and pain. Drains all energy. Varies from day to day. Steroids are the only thing that relieves the pain but they cause other issues. Look after yourself- let others do the Xmas work! Your mojo will return if the PMR goes into remission.
See if you can reduce the steroids gradually - I did this and managed to get off them completely. I then started to feel much better & energy levels returned

I had a spinal operation a few weeks back and still have limited mobility. I realised I would not be able to cope with a real tree so, for the first time in 44 years, gave in and ordered a prelit facsimile. It’s now covered in the old decorations (the DH had to do the bottom ones as I cannot bend) and it is far nicer than I hoped it could be.

The DD is cooking Christmas dinner for the first time too.

Despite the drawbacks, I am feeling Christmassy and looking forward to Saturday - though I extend sympathy, goodwill and greetings to those too exhausted, ill or sad to feel up to celebrating.

We had a power cut this afternoon so I was thinking of ways to save the Christmas food in the freezer after DH mentioned (twice) those poor people who lost their power for a week.

Luckily we found (after an hour!) that it was the candle arch which had blown the fuse.

DH apologetically told me he didn’t feel up to putting up outside lights this year. He has had a series of health problems so I could understand why and told him he was being environmentally friendly; we don’t have many decorations inside this year either but we do have a small tree. We only give presents to our immediate family now and they have all asked for money. We stopped buying each other gifts last year as we were wasting money on buying each other things that neither of us really wanted or needed. This year we bought each other a nice warm coat in November and those are our Christmas presents to each other. I do still enjoy sending and receiving Christmas cards as there are some beautiful ones, sadly the list gets shorter each year as we lose friends or family members.

Oh dear, I feel bad about moaning when some of you have far worse problems. I thought I’d get told off for feeling rather negative about Christmas but lots of others here seem to feel the same. Perhaps because we worked so hard to give our families a happy Christmas for so many years and no longer need to.
I’m so lucky to have a large family and send virtual hugs to those who will be alone at Christmas.

I don’t like Christmas. My Mum died at Christmas time 30 years ago so the festive feeling has always been a struggle for me. We have a ready decorated and lit tree that just needs plugging in and different version of this in the porch. I paint my
own Christmas cards and have them printed and this is both pleasurable and seen as me ‘make my the effort’. This year , one daughter is working and the other has broken her ankle and doesn’t feel up to hosting or going anywhere. We are quite looking forward to just handing out presents and then coming home to veg in front of tv. It will be my first ever Christmas st home!

I've bought a "pull up", pre decorated tree this year - because we have moved to a smaller house and no longer have a Garden Room in which to put our original (plastic) one.
With three cats and less room, there was nowhere safe to put our "old" tree, in any event.
I've put out a few decorations and bought a new Light up festive "Robin Globe", but so far I haven't found our two Candle Bridges or the Wreaths we normally put up!
The Christmas Pressies are all posted (we moved 700 miles away), as are the Cards. Those cards we have received are taped to the glass panels of the doors in the Hall and Kitchen.

We will be just the two of us for Christmas Dinner - which I will cook for Early Christmas Eve. This is a tradition I began after living in an all electric house in a rural village, when there was a power cut on Christmas Day (2012). We live in a similarly rural location again, so I'm not taking chances!
On Christmas day, we will have a Turkey Crown with the usual trimmings, and on Boxing day, we eat Party Food, cooked as and when required (and when I can be bothered).
This consists of cold Meats, Cheeses, Salad and bolstered by hot Chips, Sausage Rolls and various party snacks.

I Wish all Gransnet Members a Very Happy Christmas. I hope it is exactly what you want it to be!

It’s your Christmas to spend how you want and if others think you’re being miserable or whatever that is their problem. Sorry for all those dealing with loneliness, illness, pain or the deaths of family or friends - enforced “Christmas cheer and jollity” are not what you may need right now. Being kind to yourselves is important and if you can find something, however small to bring a little bit of comfort and solace, that is a blessing.