What wold you do?

I have D, a GS and a GD who are all very overweight.
If you find a way to solve the problem without any fall out please pass it on to me.
I am very distressed about it but have to do and say nothing.

It is DD and we get on fine. I do not think she would have mentioned it otherwise.

If she mentions it to me again, I will be tempted to suggest that the source of snacks, which is readily accessible, might be better off emptied!!!

We had this kind of issue with our younger daughter - started putting on weight at 8 or 9, having been quite small and skinny previously. She didn't seem to be constantly snacking, just enjoyed biggish dinners.

My mother started to comment on her weight, but having had experience of people with eating disorders, I was reluctant to make it an issue with daughter.

As she got older, she was aware of weight issue herself and still struggles to maintain a healthy weight, even though she has a good diet - just eats a bit more food than she needs.

If you have more than 1 child, it's hard to control what they all eat. Years later it emerged that older brother would get biscuit tin down from high shelf for daughter!

If the parents have mentioned it to you, I guess you could bring the subject up, without your GD hearing of course. Maybe enquire whether she snacks on high calories/fat items, and suggest some alternatives. Also I believe you need to be even more cautious if it’s your DiL rather than your DD. Hard for us grans I know!

When my daughter was 10 and at Primary school she was rather chubby in fact she and her friend at the time were the 'sturdiest' girls in school! We had an annual fun run and both decided to take part. Both came last sauntering down the field much to the annoyance of race marshals and parents eating packets of crisps! They had stopped off at the village shop. I was so embarrassed to say the least. Once at high school she started to shoot up and is now a tall willowly 39 year old who looks in her twenties! Id watch and wait give her time. Watchful waiting my advice see where she is in a couple of years she my well be the beanpole like the rest of the family yet.

9 is a very impressionable age and they take things very much to heart, especially criticism, so please say nothing and let her parents deal with this if they think it's necessary. So long as the girl is healthy, active and happy, leave her be.

I would not say anything, either to GD or to parents - unless they bring it up again and ask for advice. But I do find it distressing to watch this. Sit on hands; zip the lip!! - again!!

I think this is an issue her parents need to address.
But without mention of her weight, diet or activity level I would have only healthy snacks and meals AND portion sizes available to EVERYONE when they visit.
And let it be known that it is YOUR new year resolution!!

can they not encourage her to snack on healthy things?

As you say, it’s not your place to say or do anything, but I can well imagine how it concerns you.

It would bother me also.

Say nothing.