What wold you do?

Say nothing.

As you say, it’s not your place to say or do anything, but I can well imagine how it concerns you.

It would bother me also.

can they not encourage her to snack on healthy things?

I think this is an issue her parents need to address.
But without mention of her weight, diet or activity level I would have only healthy snacks and meals AND portion sizes available to EVERYONE when they visit.
And let it be known that it is YOUR new year resolution!!

I would not say anything, either to GD or to parents - unless they bring it up again and ask for advice. But I do find it distressing to watch this. Sit on hands; zip the lip!! - again!!

9 is a very impressionable age and they take things very much to heart, especially criticism, so please say nothing and let her parents deal with this if they think it's necessary. So long as the girl is healthy, active and happy, leave her be.

When my daughter was 10 and at Primary school she was rather chubby in fact she and her friend at the time were the 'sturdiest' girls in school! We had an annual fun run and both decided to take part. Both came last sauntering down the field much to the annoyance of race marshals and parents eating packets of crisps! They had stopped off at the village shop. I was so embarrassed to say the least. Once at high school she started to shoot up and is now a tall willowly 39 year old who looks in her twenties! Id watch and wait give her time. Watchful waiting my advice see where she is in a couple of years she my well be the beanpole like the rest of the family yet.

If the parents have mentioned it to you, I guess you could bring the subject up, without your GD hearing of course. Maybe enquire whether she snacks on high calories/fat items, and suggest some alternatives. Also I believe you need to be even more cautious if it’s your DiL rather than your DD. Hard for us grans I know!

We had this kind of issue with our younger daughter - started putting on weight at 8 or 9, having been quite small and skinny previously. She didn't seem to be constantly snacking, just enjoyed biggish dinners.

My mother started to comment on her weight, but having had experience of people with eating disorders, I was reluctant to make it an issue with daughter.

As she got older, she was aware of weight issue herself and still struggles to maintain a healthy weight, even though she has a good diet - just eats a bit more food than she needs.

If you have more than 1 child, it's hard to control what they all eat. Years later it emerged that older brother would get biscuit tin down from high shelf for daughter!

It is DD and we get on fine. I do not think she would have mentioned it otherwise.

If she mentions it to me again, I will be tempted to suggest that the source of snacks, which is readily accessible, might be better off emptied!!!

I have D, a GS and a GD who are all very overweight.
If you find a way to solve the problem without any fall out please pass it on to me.
I am very distressed about it but have to do and say nothing.

In my daughter's case, the weight gain seemed to be pre-pubertal, but never "fell off" as she got older. Other family members are not overweight, apart from OH, and his mother and sisters always struggled with weight, so I think it may be genetic predisposition.

Indeed it is hard annsixty. I am very conscious that she should not be made over-aware of her weight as this can create an obsession with what she eats, which would not help. And it is a sensitive time for body image. It would only take one conversation to plant this in her mind as something to worry about, and she might not be able to shake it off at all.

Personally I think the source of snacks should be filled with something healthy. I find it hard that her parents are aware of the problem but still allow free access to the snacks cupboard.

Leave her be.
Observe her life more closely. As you are outside of the family unit you may see things others miss., that may point to the why she is doing this.
Even then you must say nothing to her.
She will be shamed for her size by others, so dont allow yourself to be perceived as one of them in her eyes.
So much new evidence has been found about how and why people put on weight. Very little of the way society, Gp or gov. view food or eating habits or weight gain is actually correct,
I would suggest lots of fun and closeness when you are with her.
And lots of learning ( youtube, netflix have some good advice and give more up to date info) about the hows and whys of people who put on weight.
BTW I hope who ever mentioned to you about her size was told to mind her own business.
I can guarantee this little girl at 9 is already aware of other peoples opinion of her and he size.

Is GD active? Do the rest of the family eat the same foods / snacks and not put on weight?
www.nhs.uk/live-well/healthy-weight/childrens-weight/overweight-children-advice-for-parents/

Say nothing. Better that way than the other. Once they begin growing upwards it won't be as noticeable. We have one in the family, a 7 year old---like a tank and as strong as an ox

As she is the odd one out size wise in your family, she already has the odds stacked against her for a life time of speculation.
Of course she may have a growing spurt soon which may change things again.
This happened with my son, who turned from a plump junior school boy into a gangly teenager, then a handsome athletic young man.
It is harder for young girls though, whose bodies go through so much at this age.

Thank you for that link Kathy - very helpful.

I am very aware of the factors that might have inclined her in this direction - it is very hard being the younger sibling of someone with a brain like a planet and limitless exceptional talents!

I really feel that this shouldn’t be made an issue at such a young age. As a young girl my weight was always commented on and I was bullied at school. I realise it’s not healthy to be overweight but I feel it’s important that this is dealt with in a sensitive manner. Believe me it sticks with you for life and can lead to eating disorders. What I’m trying to say is don’t give your granddaughter a complex about her weight and make her self conscious. Maybe the family could all go on a healthy eating programme for the New Year and seek expert advice

My 9 year old granddaughter started to put on weight when all her activities stopped during lockdown. Swimming, ballet, cubs and gymnastics

It didn't help that her parents (my son) split up in January 2020 just as the pandemic was taking hold

I'm hoping that she will grow out of it. I won't be mentioning it to her as I would worry about future eating disorders.

Say nothing and just love her lots!

Tell her you are going to start start swimming/jogging/cycling or just plain walking to the play park and would she like to come with you?

This will keep her fit and use a few calories! I guess she could have a growth spurt this year, and it will all sort itself out.

She sounds a lovely gd who you are lucky to have.

Luckygirl
We had the same problem with my granddaughter was that age. Such a surprise as she was always like a little doll and I’m a size 12 and her mother a size 10 and her brother is the proverbial beanpole.
Then puberty kicked in and before she was 12 she was 5’4” and her body just spread itself out.
Me and my daughter do worry as her fathers family are big people.
What has helped is that now she walks to school unlike at junior she had to go by car because of the distance.

Luckygirl3

Thank you for that link Kathy - very helpful.

I am very aware of the factors that might have inclined her in this direction - it is very hard being the younger sibling of someone with a brain like a planet and limitless exceptional talents!

We have experience of sibling GC with very different capabilities. The less able academically child became very conscious of his shortcomings at school, and so, with an all round effort (a superb school teacher, parents, grandparents (both sides) and a good local junior football trainer), we encouraged success in other areas, and this has helped his self esteem hugely.

Say nothing and accept her as she is

If you snack and eat healthy, she may do the same when she is with you

She is 9 and growing.

Just because the family has the tendency to be strong beans doesn't mean she may have the same structure

This is how body image issues, eating disorders and self esteem issues start

Commenting on anybody's body is rude. Period.