We need 6-8 pallbearers when we die

The Victorians used to say "Count your Blessings" and we have tended to discount this idea as the years have gone by - or even laugh at it. But I do count my blessings and feel grateful for the numerous good things I have. I find its so easy to forget that I have luxuries which most people in the world don't have - clean water in the tap, a house with several rooms in it, a bed to sleep on, a washing machine......and so much more. As I write I know that there are others who don't have all these good things I have; I suppose one of the positives many of us can find in our lives is to reach out if and when we can to do something positive beyond ourselves.. One good thing most of us can be positive and grateful for is that we can do something for other people - however small - and then they and we feel more positive.

If we want a kind and positive world, be kind and positive today. Don't wait, and see it happen make it happen.

Definitely no funeral for me either. I did try to arrange for my remains be used for medical research, but was told no thanks! We have more than enough.

My late husband wish was to have a green burial at a local woodland site. Pallbearers were the undertakers staff, carried my husband to the chosen prepared site. A short service by a celebrant, our two sons spoke of memories of their father and what he meant to them. After the lowering of the coffin cardboard painted with pictures of birds (coffin had to be biodegradable so either cardboard or willow) we threw yellow roses on to the coffin. It was a small family gathering as was his wish and the funeral was followed by a family lunch.
The funeral director and his staff went above and beyond to make this very sad occasion memorable and peaceful. Now I can visit him in the woodlands which he loved and know that when my time comes I can join him in the adjoining plot.

I don't think the point of the post was to discuss our preferred funeral arrangements!
Something positive for me is I've become much closer to my sister. Before covid we just got on with our busy lives and assumed we were fine unless we heard otherwise. Now we have an online chat once a week and had a week away together, which was lovely. I'm looking forward to seeing more of her now she has retired too.
Several people who I know were waiting for operations have had them and are recovering well. So pleased for them.

My friend and I were out for lunch last week and she asked me to write down what I want to happen when I die( lovely lunch topic lol) just in case my sister went before me. My sister and I both never had children, it's just the two of us.
I have it all done, even my song by The Who that I want blaring when they scatter my ashes in the sea. She will put this letter in her and her husband's 'happy box' where they keep their funeral arrangements.
I don't mind who carries me, I'll leave that up to them as there's not many left in my family circle, so it'll will probably end up and be their poor sons and nephews.

I tried something on for the first time in 5 years and it fit.

It was a scarf but, hey, let's be positive.

OnwardandUpward, I know your title mentioned pall bearers, but you said it was in terms of being supported and uplifted through life. Unfortunately, readfing through the thread, it's now turned into a funeral planning issue !
I thought 'Ohh good, there will be some good uplifting ideas here, and then the debate went on about unwanted donated bodies and coffins on trolleys. Hmm, I should have stopped reading after the introduction !!!

reading not readfing !

There are two little kittens waiting to be ours just as soon as they are born and make their way to the cat-and-dog-home!

Thinking of pallbearers. Yes, at the moment I have youngish ones along with older ones I could count on. But, as I age so do they. Indeed some may not be around to hold me up or lower me down. The past two years has shown there are good pallbearers out there and hopefully there always will be.

Effalump!

Been feeling ill this week with diverticula issues and I have had lovely support from brilliant friends.
So my positive thoughts are that you reap what you sow. Friends are my family and we treat each other as such. I can trust them implicitly and they me!
So my positive thought is appreciate your friends, cherish them and keep in touch as much as possible.

Well- in it's not last year! That's gone done and dusted! New year, new start, with the wealth of experience you have no of this new year thingy you can beat the pitfalls, you've got lots of practice in! Don't start anything you'll not finish. Do try something you always wanted and beggar negative mates. Go with the flow, you can and you know your stuff. Pass on your wisdom to someone who will appreyand actually use it. Happy happy neighbour ?

effelump! best one yet..

funny how we all seem to want to talk about our funeral arrangements though????????

In the park near me the daffodils are out, they have been out for2 weeks already. The sky was almost cloudless as I walked the dog on the beach this morning and the rising sun caught the underside of soft clouds, lighting them in a way that Turner would have loved. My torn knee ligament may be on the mend. After waiting 6 months, the builder is coming tomorrow to take down a dividing wall, the skip is here and we have stripped out the 2 rooms and covered everything over and sealed the doors. My DIL has been promoted with a bonus and pay increase, my son has been asked to be an acting Chief Inspector. MIL has Covid with v v mild symptoms. My husband is coming to realise that his brother is a complete @ hole. It’s been a good day - and getting better as him indoors is cooking and I’m in front of the fire with some wine. Cheers everyone!

My niece (sister’s daughter) & I were pall bearers at my sister’s funeral last April with her sons & my son. Limited numbers at a beautiful service ❤️

Your beautiful sister.
I remember the photo you posted, and she was such a pretty woman.

Loved this thread and the double twist of positive thinking and funeral planning! ??? The song that came to y mind had to be ‘Always look on the bright side of life/death’!

Thank you so much Gransnetters!

My DSs were pall bearers for both my mum and dad. I was very proud of them. One did it for his friend's mum as well. The two of them and 4funeral staff. When they were planning the funeral my DS noticed they only asked his friend and not the friend's sisters if he wanted to do it. Is pall bearing one of the last bastions of sexism?

I love using memes - they can be a really good way to show that you empathise with someone, or a way to make them giggle in a tough time. I've frequently been grateful to friends who've either sent me a meme directly, or posted it on my Facebook page.

There's a lovely one that suits this thread, and I'm jolly well going to post it!

However, OnwardandUpward asked for some positive thoughts .. here's one: "I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination." – Jimmy Dean (Country Singer)

effalump

I tried something on for the first time in 5 years and it fit.

It was a scarf but, hey, let's be positive.

effalump you win the thread! ROTFL

I have been to many funerals over the years and have found there's a north/south divide these days, in the north they use a trolley usually, except for my dad who died in October 2019 aged 101 who was carried in by pall bearers who were family members, while in the south it is still pall bearers from the funeral directors!

trisher

My DSs were pall bearers for both my mum and dad. I was very proud of them. One did it for his friend's mum as well. The two of them and 4funeral staff. When they were planning the funeral my DS noticed they only asked his friend and not the friend's sisters if he wanted to do it. Is pall bearing one of the last bastions of sexism?

someone has mentioned height but a lot of women in younger generations are as tall as men now, in my family at least

ChrisK

I have been to many funerals over the years and have found there's a north/south divide these days, in the north they use a trolley usually, except for my dad who died in October 2019 aged 101 who was carried in by pall bearers who were family members, while in the south it is still pall bearers from the funeral directors!

Well I'm up North and never seen a trolley used and I've been to quite a few funerals.