A friend's Mum decided she wanted a new carpet so my friend took her to choose one. She took her time and asked the salesman a lot of questions then said she had chosen the one but wanted a 10 year guarantee with it. She was 99 at the time! (and got her guarantee!) 
Thought this might amuse some of you!
How do you hang your washing out?
It’s been a while so I will start us off…….whats for supper and why?
Mandelson failed security vetting. Starmer says he didn’t know





