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Only dog lovers will understand

(104 Posts)
Sarnia Thu 13-Jan-22 11:03:21

I live with my youngest daughter, son-in-law and 2 granddaughters aged 7 & 8. We had wanted a dog for several years but didn't want it to be left at home on its own all day. During lockdown I retired from my job so we decided to get a cocker spaniel puppy. From day 1 he wriggled his adorable way into our hearts and we have all had so much fun with him BUT he became a biter. The vet recommended a canine behaviourist and after some blood and poo tests and working with him for a morning she diagnosed a genetic imbalance causing resource guarding. This condition makes him very protective towards certain people, food, toys and anything they perceive as theirs, such as their basket. If anyone came close to our dog when he was guarding something, he would bite. It can't be trained out of them and doesn't make for a family dog. My son-in-law got badly bitten last week and needed a trip to A&E and the decision had to be made. Our dog walker adopts problem dogs. It's just her and her husband and they offered to adopt him. He has gone this morning and I am so very sad. My head tells me it's the only option we had but my heart is heavy. I shall miss the lovely side of him, licking my ears, cuddling up with me and just being there. Life seems empty today.

Calistemon Thu 13-Jan-22 13:04:57

Chardy

Yes you've done the right thing, but you know that Sarnia. All I have to add to what's been said is that the animal rescue people often have dogs whose owners have died or can no longer walk them. These are lovely animals, so deserving of the love you guys have to offer. Good luck

Chardy, yes you are right. We took on a dog whose owner had died, he was the one which was into 'resource guarding' but he was small and could be controlled!

However, not all rescue dogs are lovely, we have heard of more than that one which have been very difficult and had to be put down in the end, sadly.

Dinahmo Thu 13-Jan-22 13:05:48

I'm very happy to hear that you've managed to rehome him and I hope that it works out well.

The problem is that occasionally you get a dog whose brain seems to be wired incorrectly. In December 2019 I had my fox terrier put to sleep after he bit me so badly that I needed stitches.

The first thing that he did was to attack us if he saw us carrying a kitchen roll. He also used to attack me when I was trying to cut my other dog's hair. We put it down to the fact that his tail had been badly docked, leaving a very tiny stump which he couldn't wag. He was one of 4 puppies that had been handed to a charity and we concluded that someone had done a bad dock of the docking and therefore couldn't sell them (Docking was then still allowed in France - not sure if it is now).

Over the 6 years that we had him whenever he fell asleep at my feet he would jump when I got up and attack me. I have several t-shirts and blouses with tears - he could jump a few feet of the ground. I discussed this with vet who recommended a behaviourist but they're not that common here and some of them only do work for court cases.

In France, if you have to have a dog put down you have to wait for 15 days (if they are well) so that checks can be made for rabies. So we lived with for 2 weeks and I was constantly thinking that I'd done the wrong thing.When the day came I said to the vet who told that it was the only thing to. I could not stay in the room and left my husband with him. Previously I'd always been with my other dogs.

I think about him often and am feeling very sad as I write this. After he'd gone, we realised how strange his behaviour had been, unlike any other dog that we've had.

We adopted another dog last January, aged 8 1/2 - he is like a goatskin rug - 50 shades of grey - and also blind. My other dog, Ruby, who is now diabetic is also blind in both eyes now but we manage OK. Both of them are soft and affectionate.

Callistemon Apart from one puppy that I bought (a Cairn terrier) all my dogs have been adopted - 2 puppies and 7 adults and apart from Django, the foxy, they have all been fine. There are plenty of dogs in the shelters whose history known.

Calistemon Thu 13-Jan-22 13:09:17

That must have been distressing Dinahmo

Yes, I shouldn't perhaps have mentioned the bad experiences I know of with friends who adopted rescue dogs but it was just a warning and it is well to check very carefully with a reputable centre.

Zoejory Thu 13-Jan-22 13:12:12

I volunteer at a dog rescue site and we are extremely careful when rehoming dogs. A dog with a tendency to bite will not be rehomed. I have taken 3 dogs with these issues and all have turned out fine after initial problems sorted.

I've had about 20 rescue dogs over the years and not had any problems with them. I would never buy a pedigree dog.

Most dogs are fabulous and I prefer the mixed types rather than pedigrees which can be more demanding and difficult.

Not all of course!

You've done the right thing, Sarnia. Heartbreaking for you but hopefully your next pup will bring you joy.

Zoejory Thu 13-Jan-22 13:17:07

Hi there, Dinahmo

How very sad to read about your dog. It reminded me of my mother's dog, an Irish Setter. She was one of three and had all lived happily together for years

One day Melanie just attacked the older setter, out of the blue. They had both been sitting soundly and Melanie just ripped at the other dog and tore her ear.

Both taken to vets. Melanie had a brain scan and the vet thought she might have had the canine equivalent of a stroke. Sadly she had to be put to sleep but maybe your much loved dog had some neurological issue.

Pleased to hear you have lovely dogs now. The happiness they give is incalculable.

EllanVannin Thu 13-Jan-22 13:44:57

I'm so glad he's found a new home as I know too well that this breed can be very excitable and do tend to bite if they are overwhelmed with people. Like humans with autism in a way, who don't like crowds.----except that they don't bite !

It's terrible having to part from your animals for whatever reason. Latterly I've only had cats and losing two of them over the years was bad enough as it takes a while to get over it unless you get a "replacement". I have 3 strays who live happily together.

At the same time, you have to live peaceably with an animal and if you're on pins about whether it'll bit or not when anyone calls is not really an option as you'd never feel comfortable being in the same room as the dog. Sad as the situation is, there'd have been no other way than to let him go. That's not to say I don't feel for you, I do because I'm an animal lover.

Many male dogs have this " alpha-male " about them and sadly they don't make for family pets sad

Urmstongran Thu 13-Jan-22 14:06:18

Calistemon

Caleo

Is this a genetic defect significantly among some strains of cocker spaniels ?

I heard about another one recently that had to be rehomed, very upsetting but he has happily settled with new owners with no children.

Years ago, before we downsized to an apartment we bought two sisters from a litter, roan (grey with black & white)cocker spaniels. The gentlest, sweetest dogs we ever had.

Someone we knew had a block coloured all black cocker spaniel. He was a growler and had bitten a family member in the past.

A breeder friend told me that block coloured cockers take some breeding out of multi colours and that encourages a degree of selective breeding, hence the different traits in their natures.

Pammie1 Thu 13-Jan-22 14:07:56

Our Jack Russell was kind of a rescue dog - we got him from a neighbour at about nine months old and he’s now three. His first owners got him as a birthday present for their little boy and it was the usual story - as soon as he outgrew the puppy cuteness the child lost interest. As a result he was neglected and when the family moved away their neighbour offered to adopt the dog. He came to us because the neighbour was getting on a bit and had become ill.

He’s a lovely dog - intelligent, full of personality and very affectionate with his own people, but at first he displayed a lot of the characteristics described by the OP. When we first got him, used to bark incessantly at anyone who came near the house and if anyone walked by his bed or his bowl he would growl. He’s also toy mad and at first was very protective of them - he would round them up and put them in his bed and snarl if anyone went near them.

Thankfully, with time, he’s calmed down considerably, although he’s still very protective of his family and home, and I keep a close eye on him when he’s around people he’s not familiar with. I think in his case his behaviour was rooted in insecurity at being passed around from owner to owner in his early life.

I really feel for you OP - I can’t imagine life without our ‘baby boy’ and I can only imagine your pain at having to give yours up. The pain will pass and at least you have the comfort of knowing you persevered and tried your best. I’m sure you’ve done the right thing for him and for your family. ?

kittylester Thu 13-Jan-22 14:20:15

I am sorry to hear this but glad that the dog has a new home.

We had a cocker spaniel that we had to have rehomed as it was blind in one eye and attacked anyone approaching him on his blind side. Even though it is for the best, it is very hard.

Germanshepherdsmum Thu 13-Jan-22 17:17:20

I’m so sorry Sarnia but you have done the right thing and your dog now has the chance of a good life in an environment better suited to him.
I was very sorry to hear about your dog too DinahMo, but so pleased that you have given a home to an older dog - so many people don’t consider them.
My GSD was an older rescue who had been in kennels for two years because she had food aggression - would growl if approached when eating as she was protecting her food. Who knows how or why that started. She had no bite history and the food aggression was the first thing the kennels mentioned about her. Any responsible kennels will tell you about any behavioural problems. We had no problem accommodating her need to eat her food quietly and she has never snapped at anyone since we got her. Her food aggression has improved hugely and I can now give her a little stroke when putting her food down without any grumbling. She’s a very loving, patient and undemanding girl and I wouldn’t hesitate to recommend taking on a rescue dog from a reputable kennels if you can.

Calistemon Thu 13-Jan-22 17:22:31

That's interesting about cockers, Urmonstongran.

Casdon Thu 13-Jan-22 17:38:26

That is interesting Urmstongran. My cocker is a blue roan, and he’s the softest lump of a dog ever, even though he has the energy and excitability of 10.

Sarnia Thu 13-Jan-22 17:40:40

Thank you from the bottom of my heart to all you lovely GN's who took time to post such kind, positive and supportive comments. Head has to rule heart in decisions like this. You have helped me through a difficult day. Thank you so much.

lavendermine Thu 13-Jan-22 17:42:08

You have made the right decision Sarnia I know how hard it must have been for you.

Oldbat1 Thu 13-Jan-22 17:42:23

How very sad for you. I’m sure some cockers have been found to have a recognised brain issue but you would need to research that. We’ve fostered over 30 dogs for a local charity that offers a place of safety to dogs who find themselves in put to sleep situations, or neglected, or with health issues, or strays. We’ve never had a biter and majority have gone on to find their forever homes or we’ve kept them. I really feel for those dogs whose owners die, or go into residential care. So so many wonderful dogs of all sizes and ages looking for homes. Good luck if you decide to open your heart and home to a needy soul again.

Framilode Thu 13-Jan-22 18:00:40

I feel so sad for you. Our previous dog was like this and, though we managed to keep him until he was was 12, quite honestly, it was a nightmare. My husband's hands are covered in scars and I had a bad bite on my arm when, without thinking, I bent down and stroked him. I thought he should be put to sleep by DH would not agree. We learned how to cope with him and we didn't have children around, but it was very difficult.
I think you have made the right decision, hard as it is. Hopefully, he will go on to have a happy life with this new owners.
Some people just seem to be able to manage dogs like these. Our groomer could do anything with our dog and did things that would, if we had done them, result in our being badly bitten.
I am sorry for you tha t it has worked out this way.

Framilode Thu 13-Jan-22 18:01:32

Sorry for the typos.

foxie48 Thu 13-Jan-22 18:07:17

Well done for making the hard decision to do what is best for the dog. I had to rehome a relative's dog because she was aggressive towards other dogs and my relative was incapable of dealing with the situation safely. I'd have kept her myself but she was aggressive towards my own border terrier. I was happy that she went to a suitable home and will have a happy life with people who will be able to work with her aggressive behaviour. You have done the right thing but please don't be put off having another dog. I did consider having a rescue dog as I'm quite an experienced owner but I think there's a lot to said for having a puppy from a responsible breeder when you can see the mother and the home it comes from. I'd also advise putting in lots of training etc as it really does give long term benefits.

Shelflife Thu 13-Jan-22 18:45:14

Well done Sarnia on making such a difficult decision. He now has a suitable home and will thrive in his new environment. You most definitely did the correct thing.

Curlywhirly Thu 13-Jan-22 19:41:38

You have definitely made the right decision; the dog has gone to a loving home, he will soon settle in. We have a labrador, the most sweet natured dogs, she is lovely with the grandchildren and you can take her food bowl off her whilst she is eating without her showing any aggression at all. They are the perfect family dog, the only downside with labs is the dog hairs and their obsession with food! If, in a few months you are still missing having a dog, perhaps think of getting another breed who is more suited to family life.

dogsmother Thu 13-Jan-22 19:44:10

Caleo there is a thing known as cocker rage.

valdali Thu 13-Jan-22 20:09:20

I had a cocker when I had my first son, blue roan,she definitely showed some resource guarding traits & had been known to really bite in the couple years I'd had her. I was lucky as my mum was able to take her, I could comfort myself that we were in a flat & Mum had more outdoor space. She had many happy years there, & we saw her often but I didnt trust her with young children. I currently have a 15 year old male cocker who has never bitten or guarded food or toys. He's blind in one eye & deaf but would never bite when startled. He was a rescue with a far from ideal early life, so the idea that it is always the owners causing these problems just isn't always true. I have met quite a few stroppy golden Cocker spaniels I must admit but for sheer joi de vivre it's hard to match a Cocker spaniel

Georgesgran Thu 13-Jan-22 20:47:50

DH and I owned and occasionally bred spaniels for many years. The saying is ‘born half wild, die half trained’
Can honestly say that as working dogs, we never had a biter - soft mouths that could find and bring back a pheasant egg and drop it so gently into your hand.
Only one puppy was ever returned as a biter, we thought just puppy nips but it went for DH when he picked it up. So unusual, but we discovered it was totally blind and had to be PTS.
No dogs here now, the kennels are gone and I miss them, but a lot of work and responsibility.

Iam64 Thu 13-Jan-22 21:01:11

You did the right and only thing possible Sardia. Spaniels are intelligent, sensitive, needy and prone to resource guarding as well as separation anxiety.
Urmstongran posted earlier about the advice she was given about solid colour spaniels. It’s often said the solid colours can have temperament problems. I had a blue roan cocker years ago, and have a 3 year old show type blue roan now. Sweet natured kind little dogs. I would avoid solid colours though of course, good breeders only breed from healthy dogs with generations of good temperament in their genes

Allsorts Thu 13-Jan-22 21:05:39

Sabrina, I have been through what you have. You have done the right thing, it will get better, but I still think of the very loving dog I had.