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Turning 60 soon, where did the years go?

(33 Posts)
Leonora2 Fri 21-Jan-22 14:31:39

Hi everyone
Well it's nearly the big 60....
I'm feeling a little bit down and depressed for no other reason than it seems like another nail in the coffin and time is running out.
I accept that there may be many years ahead (Here's hoping) but old age is definitely looming and I'm mourning the younger thinner me and reminiscing far more than I think is healthy.
I have a good job, I am financially secure, reasonably anyway, with lovely grown up children and in a good relationship. I'm very grateful to be here, there's many that never make it to this age but would love words of wisdom from older ladies on how to embrace this new era and not feel quite so much dread.

silverlining48 Sun 23-Jan-22 11:15:29

Now in my 70s I realise what a good decade my 60s were. Still fit no health problems to stop me doing anything I wanted to do.
Travelling further afield for the first time was exciting and hoped to carry travel on but arthritis and Covid have halted that fir now, so embrace and enjoy your 60s, they will be better than you think.

halfpint1 Sun 23-Jan-22 10:12:01

I felt a bit dispondent at the start of my 60's but tweaked my health, diet, exercise, lifestyle (gave up alcohol)
and at 68 am still running my own business and feeling good. The last 2years have had their moments on me mentally but I've plodded on as many of us do. My 60's are turning out to be memorable

FannyCornforth Sun 23-Jan-22 10:10:20

travelsafar it’s good to see you posting thanks
I was only thinking of you recently. I hope that you’re doing okay

travelsafar Sun 23-Jan-22 10:05:06

Make the most of your life while you can. You have finances and good health and that counts for a lot. The next 10 years will pass by in a flash.

Dorsetcupcake61 Sun 23-Jan-22 10:03:46

Leonora you post certainly struck a chord with me!
I turned 60 last November and initially didnt feel to bad about it. I didnt want a fuss but my daughters organised a lovely surprise party which made me feel so valued and happy.
Since then I've not been so sure.!
Last year there was the realisation that I have reached the top of the family pile with cousins also sadly dying.
I got divorced in 1995 and worked P/T until a year ago.
I worked for the council until 2014 when I left to care for my father who moved in with me. When he died in 2016 I was lucky enough to be able to pay off my mortgage and have a nest egg. I did the travelling I had never been able to and dont regret a single moment or penny spent.
I got a part time job in a care home as a 1.1 worker which I loved,no management responsibility and paid the bills. That ended in March 20 due to Covid in the care home and being clinically vulnerable.
Nearly all my savings were spent in 2020 but I viewed it as the proverbial rainy day.
In January 2021 I started working with the Civil Service. It was initially a years contract but has been extended until June 2022. We expect to hear any week now whether we will be made permenant.
It's a demanding job,which on the whole I really enjoy and am good at and my team leaders are incredibly positive about how I'm performing. Of course I expect the decision is final and from higher up.
It's a strange position to be in. I am so aware that before the rise in pension age I would now be retired.
For nearly 3 decades I had the perfect work life balance. I have many crafts and hobbies that I love and have limited time to do. I dont have the same energy levels I had in my 30s. I am just so darn tired!
I dont really know what's worse if they make my contract permanent or dont. If they do it would be foolish to turn down a secure,quite well paid job with good terms and conditions. Maybe next year I could drop a day.!
If the contract ends I'm back in the job market! I am qualified post graduate and have tons of experience in all sorts of areas. Along with many people my age we just want an interesting job that wont leave us exhausted and will be a positive way to spend the next 7 years?.
There is a small part of me that would be relieved if contract not extended,I want my life back. I also need an income!
I realise I'm luckier than many. My home is my own and ihave wonderful friends and family.
I do think I am having an existential crisis. It ranges from little reminders such as moving up a box in age groups and realising i qualify to buy over 60s national express card!
More seriously a few weeks ago my youngest daughter and i were discussing how quickly the two decades had passed since the millennium. It was a definitely unpleasant moment when i considered how quickly the next 20 years may pass and what may lie ahead.
There are no guarantees in life.
Normally things work out fine.
For me currently life at 60 just feels rather unnerving. I'm single and dont expect that to change but financially it can be harder. Throw in a global pandemic and maybe it's okay to feel a bit wobbly!

V3ra Sun 23-Jan-22 10:00:29

We've had the opposite experience with family members dying: as a couple we're both 65 this year, we've lost a parent each at 86 and 90 and still have the other two at 91 and 94.

So we have to tell ourselves that while we too may have many years left still, it's not a given and we need to crack on enjoying ourselves now, especially while we're both fit and well (for which we are truly grateful).

Well that's my excuse for booking holidays this year ?

FannyCornforth Sun 23-Jan-22 09:45:53

Yes, that’s exactly how I feel too Shinamae

My mom dying aged 50 has coloured my entire philosophy on life. I don’t see anything as a right.
Everything is a bonus.

My step son (DH’s eldest) died aged 50 a few years ago too.
That was extremely tough.

(DH’s children are all a few years older than me!)

silverlining48 Sun 23-Jan-22 09:22:25

That is quite profound Shin
Old age is a privilege denied to many. Thank you ☺️ .

Shinamae Sun 23-Jan-22 09:10:33

I’m 69 next month and not dreading it but just thinking time is running out.My brother died of cancer at 49 so I am grateful to still be here as old age is a privilege denied to many..

Oopsadaisy1 Sun 23-Jan-22 09:01:27

I preferred being almost 60 to this year when I am almost 70.

We had lots of things planned for when MrOops retired when he was 70, sadly we’ve spent those years being cooped up because of the pandemic and ill health and the ‘ill health’ didn’t start until I was in my 60’s.

So, don’t put things off until you retire, do it now.

And smile - while you’ve still got your teeth.

HettyBetty Sun 23-Jan-22 08:01:41

Not far off 60 here. I've always been fit and active but after a recent health scare I am determined to give my body its very best chance. So, a very healthy diet and lots of exercise. I am treating it like a job.

I run a business which I love, have a brilliant DH, wonderful adult DC and a good circle of friends. Life is actually fine.

Anyone remember the old Clarks advert, "Act your shoe size, not your age" ?

BigBertha1 Sun 23-Jan-22 07:00:44

leonora2 I'm not much help. 69 next month I feel just like you. Several health problems now and my joie de vivre has gone...that's probably spelt wrong but the pendants will find it.

Ravelling Sun 23-Jan-22 06:28:44

This has been just the thread for me to find today as there are lots of positive perspectives here.
I’ve been feeling just like this for a while now. I’m 59 and DH is 68 and I have had a period of crisis about the end looming. I think it’s because my parents died at 60 and 61. Also, our beloved dog is dying which is just another straw on the pile. I’ve been feeling invisible and have developed a bit of a ‘what’s the point?’ mindset. Not suicidal. Just not putting the effort into myself that I used to.
I’m tackling this by getting a bit more exercise and eating better. (I’m not going to call it a diet, I need to be kinder to myself.) Im trying to get a bit more daylight - as I work from home now and spend hours sitting at my laptop in the dining room. I’m also experimenting with a new set of facial product - not expecting any miracles, but they’re different so that’s a change - and a collagen supplement.
It’s been a long winter and the pandemic combined with almost being 60 has been the perfect storm for me. I’m looking forward to getting out in the garden, going on a few road trips and seeing a bit of daylight.

karmalady Sun 23-Jan-22 06:09:26

Plenty to look forward to, especially with a partner, with whom to enjoy holidays and days out. By 70 life may have completely changed so don`t be dwelling on nearing 60 and take a day at a time.

FannyCornforth Sun 23-Jan-22 05:25:15

Where do you live Leonora, if you don’t mind me asking?
I can understand now why you are upset if you have recently lost your husband thanks
My mom died when she was just 50, which is the age I became this week, and it definitely makes you a bit reflective

Leonora2 Sun 23-Jan-22 04:28:59

Its so interesting seeing all the different ways everyone is dealing with the inevitable ageing. I think because I lost both parents at a fairly youngish age and a husband a few years back so have become the oldest person in the immediate family and the fact that I can't retire until I'm 67 possibly adds to the anguish. Also where I live there's been so many deaths of people in their 60s. Very depressing sad

Redhead56 Sat 22-Jan-22 15:16:29

We worked on our family business until just three years ago. I don't feel mentally old at all still having a sharp mind. But physically osteoarthritis is a hindrance it slows me down but have to live with it. People say I haven't changed apart from my colouring I don't worry about wrinkles etc that's natural.
I have a work related pensions since I was sixty due state pension this year. We are fortunate to have no money worries which makes life easier. We enjoy our family life and our friendships and I am glad we are getting back to life after Covid.

Pepper59 Sat 22-Jan-22 15:02:02

There's not much you can do about it, so why worry? We all get older and for myself coming from a family where many of my relatives died in their 40s and one or two younger than that, I feel grateful to be getting older. Sadly, the Pandemic has knocked much of my plans on the head, but Ive begun to accept this is my life and this is how it is.

OmaLoocie Sat 22-Jan-22 14:06:34

In my late 50s I was in denial about getting older but then turned 60 and looked it straight in the face. I don't like getting older. I look at old photographs of myself and wonder what the hell happened. It doesn’t help that The Husband has now retired but is struggling with health problems so it's very unlikely that we'll be able to do the things we used to talk about doing when we got older, and especially once we both retired. In those days, however, the retirement age was 6 years younger! Ironically, I'm thankful I am still working because at the moment I feel that's the only thing keeping me sane. However, I do know it could be worse and try to count my blessings - it's just that on some days that's more challenging than others! ?

LtEve Sat 22-Jan-22 13:56:59

I've been feeling like this recently. I think it's to do with being in the no mans land of not yet retired but wanting to be and feeling invisible. My Mother died at 78 and was 'old' for a good 15 years before that and I really don't want to follow in her footsteps in that respect.
It doesn't help that I've hated the last two years with all the restrictions etc and feel like I've fallen into a rut of work and home without any of my pre pandemic happy things like holidays etc.
Hopefully now things are becoming more positive I can pull myself together and plan for fun in the future.

ginny Sat 22-Jan-22 13:03:28

You seem to be in a good position financially and have a happy life . Embrace it and enjoy. Age is a number.

We don’t stop playing because we get old,
We get old because we stop playing.

diygran Sat 22-Jan-22 12:48:29

I have reached 70 and not looking forward to whatever time is left.
A lot of friends are in declining health, some due to obesity or smoking. So advice is to definitely try to keep to a healthy lifestyle.
I enjoyed most of my 60s tho parents and many family passed away. It reminds you life is short - 'it's not the years in your life, but the life in your years!' Enjoy!

GagaJo Sat 22-Jan-22 12:25:48

I'm almost there too and feel at a very weird juncture in my life. My mother has probably only a few months left to live and that is making me reflect on those memories. In addition, I'm looking forward, to how I'm going to be able to continue to work way past usual retirement age. Also how much longer I think I'll be around for my DGS.

It feels like a real stage of transition, which to be fair, I suppose it is. I'm not adverse to change though, so I suppose I'm lucky in that respect.

I don't really mourn the younger me. I was much more frivolous and I like the more sensible me now.

loopyloo Sat 22-Jan-22 12:07:57

Look after yourself. Get to a good weight and exercise. And look after your teeth as Pam Ayres says.
Wish I'd done that!

NanaPlenty Sat 22-Jan-22 12:06:40

I’m in my sixties - you need to do all the things you’ve maybe fancied and never got round to. Also I volunteer looking after pregnant mums and babies - that keeps me in touch with all sorts of age groups and you feel it’s just a number when you are busy. I am aware of the passing of time, just not so much when I’m busy and enjoying life. xx