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Foster child from 40 years ago has got in touch

(89 Posts)
Franbern Tue 01-Feb-22 09:43:15

I am so thrilled. My eldest daughter still lives in the area where my family all grew up, and she still has the same surname (which is an unusual one)

Some months back she was contacted by a man who told her that his (adoptive) parents had recently died, and going through their papers he had discovered that we were the family that had fostered him as a newborn for ten weeks before he went to those parents. This was in 1980.

He managed to track her down via facebook (so that really does have some good uses). As our family are all meeting at her house in a few weeks time for a birthday celebration, he has arranged to come over to meet up with us all. I am so excited. Evidently his partner is expecting a baby later in the summer, so I am now knitting some baby things for them.

Iam64 Tue 01-Feb-22 20:32:41

Thanks for sharing this happy news. It’s cheered many of us
There’s something so special about getting in touch with roots. I hope it all goes well

Elusivebutterfly Tue 01-Feb-22 20:50:15

It's good to hear your happy news Franbern.

crazyH Tue 01-Feb-22 21:01:02

Franbern, what wonderful news and how wonderful that you took on the role of foster parents all those years ago.
FB is truly a great way to get in touch with loved ones , family and friends. Enjoy the meeting and the birthday celebration .

Jaxjacky Tue 01-Feb-22 21:11:37

Wonderful Franbern utterly wonderful for you and your family.

grannyactivist Tue 01-Feb-22 22:24:03

Franbern sending you good wishes for a wonderful reunion.

Doodledog Tue 01-Feb-22 22:26:34

That is such a lovely story. Do let us know what happens next.

JoyBloggs Tue 01-Feb-22 22:27:16

Such a lovely story, hope you have a wonderful celebration! I wonder if you have any photos of yourself with him as a newborn baby...

Franbern Wed 02-Feb-22 08:53:00

No photos. I rarely photographed these babies, they came and they went. Remember it was more difficult back then to photograph everything. I really enjoyed my years fostering. Started off with just pre-adoption babies, but then became children under five years of age. One came to me at the age of eleven months for 'intermediate fostering (which meant upto a year). He stayed for the rest of his life, became our youngest child - did brilliantly. Sadly died in an accident at the age of 25 twenty years ago leaving a hole in our family and still so missed.

Indeed, again my eldest daughter has recently been contacted by a couple of his workmates asking if our family would be willing to join them and others in a twenty year memorial for him later in the Spring.

I have some wonderful memories and stories of those days back in the 70's and 80's, when fostering was still, largely, carried out for love (we received expenses, but no actual payments). Think it did my own children a lot of good also, one thing was they really understood what having a baby/meant in terms of time and responsibility. My four daughters all delayed starting their own families until late twenties/early thirties, ensuring their own careers were well underway and they really knew what they were taking on.

I really did love having a baby around - even the night time feeds were good, often the only time I got to myself in every 24 hours.

Such fun getting back to knitting baby clothes!!! I am pretty sure that my g.children will follow the family pattern of having their children quite late, so I am unlikely to see any great g.kids.

Germanshepherdsmum Wed 02-Feb-22 10:05:58

Thank you for sharing your story Franbern, and my condolences on the loss of your son, but what love and support he must have had. What a wonderful start in life you gave to so many, and such a great example to your children too. I’m humbled.

Grantanow Wed 02-Feb-22 12:09:07

You must have done a very good job fostering all those years ago. Well done!

nipsmum Wed 02-Feb-22 12:12:05

What a nice thing to happen. It brings the tears ot my eyes. Have a great time when you all meet up.

dizzygran Wed 02-Feb-22 12:18:54

lovely story - and nice for you to meet again in better circumstances. I hope he had a happy life. Foster carers do such a good job. I expect he is trying to get as much information about his early life as he can. I don't know if you met his birth mother - foster carers sometimes do. Have a happy reunion.

Rileysnana Wed 02-Feb-22 12:27:17

What a wonderful heartwarming story. Hope everything goes well.

Anniel Wed 02-Feb-22 12:46:40

What a happy story Franbern! Fostering a baby is such an important job to take on and i am so happy for you that your foster child has contacred you! Let us know how you get on.

hamster58 Wed 02-Feb-22 13:08:26

I agree, lovely story. I hope it’s a fabulous memorable day for all involved. Do let us all know if possible

Growing0ldDisgracefully Wed 02-Feb-22 13:09:56

What a lovely positive story. Adding to all the other good wishes for the reunion. Hopefully he will stay in touch and you will see his new baby grow and be part of that new life.

TanaMa Wed 02-Feb-22 13:22:32

What a lovely sunny story on such a sunny Springlike day - at least it is here in S. Wales. We never fostered children but did have them for weekly or fortnightly 'holidays' away from the unhappy situations at home. Usually unemployment or sickness within the family - not abuse. It was really just to give them a break. Foster families are so brave, it must be hard to give up little ones you have come to love.

4allweknow Wed 02-Feb-22 13:26:12

So good to hear of a happy outcome and the care you must have given to him. Enjoy your get together.

Treetops05 Wed 02-Feb-22 13:42:11

What wonderful news for both families, I hope you have a wonderful party ?

GreenGran78 Wed 02-Feb-22 13:58:53

My own adopted DD was fostered for 6 weeks before we got her. Funnily enough, she doesn't have the slightest interest in tracing her birth parents, who were very young, and apparently were bullied into adoption, which was so often the sad case 50 years ago. It's quite likely that they stayed together, and she may have siblings. I would love to find her family, but it's not going to happen.
We went on to do short-term fostering of under 5s. Many of them came from rather dubious families, and were borderline for going into care. I often wonder what became of them all. It's lovely that one of your babies has found you, after all these years. Enjoy your reunion!

Unigran4 Wed 02-Feb-22 14:03:17

I used to foster pre-adoption babies in the 70s and 80s. One little baby girl came back to visit me when she/he was 21 in the middle of transition and being rejected by the adoptive family for it.

And yes, 3dognight I used to cry into the vegetables the day a baby had left my care!

Such a lovely story Franbern , thank you.

lilydily9 Wed 02-Feb-22 14:04:08

How lovely. And so nice to read such a heartwarming post.

3dognight Wed 02-Feb-22 14:23:10

Germanshepherdsmum

Thank you for sharing your story Franbern, and my condolences on the loss of your son, but what love and support he must have had. What a wonderful start in life you gave to so many, and such a great example to your children too. I’m humbled.

My feelings entirely.

What a warm and caring lady you are Franbern cupcake

sandwichgeneration Wed 02-Feb-22 14:39:48

In these somewhat miserable days that is a lovely, joyful story. I found a long-lost cousin via the internet so, yes, it does have its uses.

Shandy57 Wed 02-Feb-22 14:45:38

I've only just seen this Franbern, how lovely. Happy knitting, knitted cardigans are so much better as so many babies like to sleep with their arms up in the air. Can't wait for you to report back! smile