Things I worry about ?

I worry about too many things which I try not to do as when younger I was in no way a worrier (unless you count exams which at the end of the day I knew I would cope with!). Now it’s so many things-my financial security (I live alone), my daughters (son never has caused me a moments angst!), my autistic granddaughter, whether I will suffer from ill health as I age (please not dementia like my father and paternal grandmother). All I can do is try to deal with situations as they arise, plan ahead as far as I can and realise that worrying does not solve or prevent problems! I think the worst of it is that I feel that I have no one to talk to. Counsellors are all very well, but it’s not the same as being able to talk and be taken seriously by someone who loves you and wants to reassure you. I try to appear to manage fine but sometimes worry makes the world a very lonely and frightening place unfortunately.

*Amalegra’, I felt sad reading your post. I wondered if you had a local, or at least within reach, GN group where you could meet up for a chat over coffee?
Reading this thread, though, does highlight that many of us are persistent worriers.

I worry often about the amount of “stuff” our daughters will have to deal with when we go. Apart from all our visible goods, there are things in the loft and in the shed. I keep thinking I’ll get someone to come round and clear the loft. I really must stop procrastinating.

As a former extreme worry wart, now that I'm in my best golden youth of old age I worry about nothing, nothing and nothing

No, actually we don't all worry, as it is pointless to worry about the things we cannot change.

I worry about things that I can do something about, until I get them sorted out.

Yes, Russia may start World War 3 - if it comes, it comes. I certainly cannot prevent it, so why should I worry about it?

If I have reason to be concerned about DH's or my health, I make an appointment with our GP.

Why make life harder than it needs to be by worrying?

Where PRECISELY did I get it so very wrong????

Family
Money
Health
Government
All of the above in relation to family.

The state of the climate, the state of the world, the state of Europe, the state of the UK and the state of my gas bill.

Not being able to do my own cooking.

I worry about everything; however, not all at once. I give the worries a rest here and there in turn, but they come back at some point. What I can say is, whatever the worry and however bad it seems in the small hours, by morning things have got into proportion a little more. OH constantly tells me that worry is pointless - he is so right, and I wish I could stop it.

Well I was trained in worrying! As the eldest in the family, I would be told to do things and take my siblings to places but with lots of "and dont let him climb on the wall. and why has she got so dirty,? she wouldnt realize but for someone with your intelligence you should have known better etc etc" There was no way I could win but I used to think of what could go wrong and try and avoid it. later my first husband was very quick to blame me for all and everything so if we went away and say he hadnt put any socks in for himself he would look at me and say why didnt you check ... My second husband was a lovely man and knew how edgy I got in case I forgot something and he had two sayings for me. One was practical " well we can always buy another .. when we get there" and the lovely "oh give the cat another goldfish!" That sounds a bit mad but he was saying dont worry and it doesnt matter and his tone of voice was calm and after some years i was a bit better at not worrying and he would make me smile. I think the major thing is when you dont feel in control. Even if something is not nice to be able to chose a or b makes you feel that locus of control , which is very calming. I had ovarian cancer and had an operation and about 2 years chemo etc . I could do very little to alter things and just had to struggle on, but I have always been a gardener and that is always a great thing to do. If you feel really angry get out the secatures and pull up weeds.feel exhausted take the coffee and sit out in a chair and just breathe and know how lovely and healing it can be. Unfortunately I now have another cancer and a bad back. People commiserate but actually my bad back causes me much more hassle as I cant bend or reach things and get frustrated. My lovely husband used to do things for me in the garden but now a widow and had to move in covid times and no one able to help me. However as I say Locus of Control. I was determined that if I had to move from my garden I was NOT going in a home , nor was I going where other people wanted me to go. I have made my decisions good or bad and at least able to decide things for myself, and I am not changing now. If you have ever watched Stephanie Cole in Waiting for God, they pinched all my ideas for her role!! So I am in my flat and its all a mess and no doubt will stay like it for a long time So of course I am desperately worried about the electricity costs and other stuff but I am here and if I cant sleep because of my back or whatever I can walk about, put the lights on, read my books and read and write these posts and it all does me good as I can do my own thing. Besides as an anti worrying factor I get up with that great anticipation that the Boorish Boris will have been chucked out , a great antidote to worrying. Oh spitting Image where are you now? Brian used to be worried about something and he would say well cant do anything now and turn over and go to sleep. I was so envious that he could do that , and asked him several times how he turned his brain off or how did he do it. He always had that ability to just close down that worry and put it away for a time. I was always envious of this ability and only wished I could do it.! So we are slowly getting a little bit more light and will be able to spend a bit more time in the garden.

I try to think like my dad. If you worry you die, if you don't worry you die, why worry.

I'm a terrible worrier, I just can't seem to get over it & it gets worse as i get older. One of my biggest worries is about car parking - will there be a space?! This is particularly true if I'm going somewhere new. Then, once I've parked, I'll then worry if I'm going to be hemmed in & unable to get back in the car & then whether I can manoeuvre out of the spot. I know it's ridiculous and I've never not found a space, even in a crowded hospital car park! Fortunately I've found a fellow sufferer so we exchange anxieties !!

You're only as happy as your unhappiest child or grandchild.

Eating worries me.
Post menopause I started becoming very allergic to all sorts of foods which I have eaten all my life. Started with wheat,wine,nuts, citrus,vinegar and so the list goes on. All have ended up in anaphylaxis and blue lighted to casualty. Not nice.
Now I can't eat out as too much pressure for restaurants and only go on self catering breaks.
Live alone and scared that I will go into shock on another different food.

BlueSky

TizzLiz sorry if you meant this to be light hearted! I can do the lighthearted stuff as well. Going on holidays for instance (when we could). I worry whether the flight will be on time, whether the resort will be not too busy but not too quiet, whether the weather will be sunny but not too hot etc etc!

That is what I meant. The silly little things which you know aren’t worth worrying about but can’t stop yourself.

I tend to be very unworried by things affecting myself. When the doctor told me to go straight to the hospital because he could feel something in my abdomen, and I had a lot of pain, I didn't even take anything with me. I just assumed that it wasn't anything but a pulled muscle, and they would send me straight home. (It turned out to be a cyst on my bowel, and they caught it just in time. 5 days in a hospital bed!)
I do worry about things affecting the family, but only after I go to bed. Then I tend to go through all kinds of scenarios, and can't get off to sleep.
My mother was a dreadful worrier, and my sister takes after her.

Also catastrophising as they call it now. When children/grandchildren started doing things on their own, like driving, travelling, having a partner etc, I start imagining all sorts of possible problems!

I worry about my health and money. I had cardiac problems a few years ago and while it was successfully treated I still get anxious about symptoms re-appearing. I also worry about money as I have had financial problems. The worst problem in life is health and the next worst problem is financial. Those who think that money is unimportant must have plenty of it.

Just a tip really...if you have a tendancy to assign a 20 minute slot per day to worrying, for example 10-10.20 am or 6-6.20pm. If it's not that time write it down to think about during your chosen time. At the appointed time create 3 columns. Column 1 write down the worry. Column 2 write down actions and timings. Column 3 is for what you cannot control. Write down in column 3 what you need to practice believing to accept it.

Stressing about things cannot change them... Stress affects your health and wellbeing so take a deep breath and try and smile. A smile always makes you feel better...

I worry about my husband, children and grandchildren and their futures. I worry about what will happen to the hair on my chin if I become unable to deal with it myself and I worry that I’ll be in a care home with dementia and they’ll give me food I don’t like and which doesn’t settle well in my stomach! I’m sure there are plenty more!

Today I’m worrying about my hair. It’s looking particularly lovely (vain, moi?) this morning. It’s raining non stop and I’m worried my hair will get damp and/or flattened under a hat

I worry about things that need difficult decisions, or complicated arrangements, but once they are made, the worry eases.
I worry about the future, as DH won’t discuss possibilities, and how we will cope.

Just after I wrote the above, DH had a phone call from his son, whose cancer has returned, but is treatable with heavy chemo, and his partner has debilitating problems since Covid. They live two hours away, have no other relatives nearer. They have a seven year old child, and when the chemo starts, they don't know how they will manage to look after her or themselves.

I am going to try not to worry, and see what DH comes up with. As it is his family, I am generally kept at arm’s length.