We always give cash, but I do ask whether there’s anything they’d particularly like, as well. I wouldn’t buy anything without asking.
This year (dds’ birthdays only a week apart) it was photo frames for one, and a particular perfume for the other.
Plus whatever chocs they like.
I also ask dds whether there’s anything their dh/partner would like. Dd1’s dh once said socks and pants! He never thinks to buy any for himself. So that was nice and easy.
For the dh or partner we’ve often ordered a delivery of beer from a favourite local brewery. That’s been popular, too - SiL once told the delivery chap he must have come to the wrong house but was very pleased to realise it was the right one.
Reducing contact because my heart just isn't in it.
