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Your day as a newspaper headline

(223 Posts)
lovebeigecardigans1955 Thu 24-Feb-22 16:12:10

Just for fun, if your 'doings' today (no matter how mundane) were to appear as a newspaper headline, how would it read?

Mine would be, 'OAP takes bus to town to collect lottery winnings.'

(Just £5 in reality, but better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick).

kittylester Fri 25-Feb-22 12:49:07

Little (!!!) Old Lady found in kitchen covered on gore.

She has promised to thump the person who did not replace the lid on the left over salsa.

Kate1949 Fri 25-Feb-22 12:43:24

Woman who failed at starting a diet yesterday and has been invited out to lunch today, tries to muster willpower to order a salad.

LuckyFour Fri 25-Feb-22 12:42:34

Woman watches as husband and son-in-law bravely and heroically chop up very large prickly tree felled in storm. "So glad I'm a feeble woman at times like this" she was heard to mutter as she went to put the kettle on.

Lucylastic Fri 25-Feb-22 12:35:53

Scottish couple lose hotel room key twice in same week. Angry scenes as husband and wife blame each other. Readers are warned that this story contains strong language which some may find offensive.

DeeJaysMum Fri 25-Feb-22 12:35:15

Woman (53) braves the cold (finally emerged from under the duvet)

Zennomore Fri 25-Feb-22 12:25:06

Pensioner forced to trawl charity shops to buy duvet covers for her elderly dogs duvet.

Sago Fri 25-Feb-22 12:18:50

Yorkshire grandmother battles ice and freezing temperatures to maintain a healthy and safe environment for the future.

Defrosted fridges and freezer ?????

jenni123 Fri 25-Feb-22 12:11:41

Woman (80) still trapped in her flat for over 2 years.

GrammarGrandma Fri 25-Feb-22 12:09:26

76-year-old woman finally sells he sister's house after two years.

Sawsage2 Fri 25-Feb-22 12:07:31

Pensioner asks young male shop assistant ' do you have fat balls?' Outside shop realised she should have added 'for the birds!'

EEJit Fri 25-Feb-22 12:05:11

OAP to drive wife to the moon and back.

The museum of the moon is on show at Lincoln Cathedral and I've promised to take Beloved.

quitestillvoice Fri 25-Feb-22 11:56:46

Elderly woman bravely approaches glamourous sales person and buys make up. "It's taken me years to pluck up the courage" she confides to anyone willing to listen.

knspol Fri 25-Feb-22 11:56:21

Woman stares aimlessly at computer screen.

Thisismyname1953 Fri 25-Feb-22 11:49:02

Old lady hears of the premature death of her DD best friend. The loving 48 yr old mother dies on operating table . ?. RIP

MaggsMcG Fri 25-Feb-22 11:42:36

OAP waits in house all day for washing machine delivery.

Nannina Fri 25-Feb-22 11:37:44

‘Pensioner succeeds in deadly climb without safety gear’
Actually me with my arthritic hip ascending small steps to clean top of kitchen cupboards ?

Grantanow Fri 25-Feb-22 11:37:20

'Woman has baby' - sensational report from the Palace.

henetha Fri 25-Feb-22 11:33:42

Elderly woman dressed in purple and red seen in public library. Do not approach.

christine96777 Fri 25-Feb-22 11:29:21

Breaking news, 60 year old woman, has shower and gets dressed. This amazing achievement was last managed on wedensday.

BBbevan Fri 25-Feb-22 11:00:08

Woman hangs washing outside for the first time this year

lovebeigecardigans1955 Fri 25-Feb-22 09:11:08

Woman wrestles with jam jar lid.

Entirelyfading Fri 25-Feb-22 07:52:37

Woman Galvanises Self to Stake Raspberry Canes.

hollysteers Thu 24-Feb-22 23:51:28

Plucky Granny battles fierce coastal winds to post long overdue heavy music score.

Chestnut Thu 24-Feb-22 23:36:56

Elderly woman bravely makes it down the cellar steps and back to read her electricity meter.

It was a tough call she said, the steps are steep and made of stone. And after the shock of reading the meter it was twice as hard getting back up. She had to hold onto the stair rail with some force.

Mollygo Thu 24-Feb-22 23:12:04

Hail to the chief! DH takes our dog for a walk and ends up in a hailstorm.