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Your day as a newspaper headline

(223 Posts)
lovebeigecardigans1955 Thu 24-Feb-22 16:12:10

Just for fun, if your 'doings' today (no matter how mundane) were to appear as a newspaper headline, how would it read?

Mine would be, 'OAP takes bus to town to collect lottery winnings.'

(Just £5 in reality, but better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick).

ginny Thu 24-Feb-22 21:55:53

Woman overcomes all odds and gets it right at last!

I’ve had 5 attempts to get started in a new crochet blanket. Finally got the hang after the pattern.

Shinamae Thu 24-Feb-22 21:48:14

Most of these are absolutely hilarious, great thread!! ????

NanKate Thu 24-Feb-22 21:42:34

‘Female fan glued to the Tennis Tournament in Mexico watching her favourite player Rafa N, whilst ignoring all her household duties! It’s rumoured she will do the same tomorrow’ ??☕️?

Greenfinch Thu 24-Feb-22 20:53:54

Dinner disaster. Woman buys ingredients but manages to lose recipe.

lixy Thu 24-Feb-22 20:38:48

Grandma honoured by family!

I was left in charge of new grandchild for one whole hour while DS worked from home and DDiL had a nap. I felt so privileged.

Floriel Thu 24-Feb-22 20:28:51

Mits give kit a hissy fit

Yes another Maine Coon story. There seem to be several of us besotted owners on Gransnet. Has anyone found a way to groom out the mats AND keep your fingers? I’ve tried leather gloves but he still gets me on the wrist.
PS He’s a darling boy really.

Sago Thu 24-Feb-22 20:20:39

In a race against time grandmother battles the elements to cross the county to install state of the art energy saving device.

I drove from East Yorkshire to North Yorkshire in the sleet and wind to get a hive hub installed in our holiday let.
I had to do it quick sticks as I has a cool bag full of food from Booths.

Oldwoman70 Thu 24-Feb-22 20:06:01

Elderly woman hostage in her own home, unable to leave after receiving text advising a parcel would be delivered between 10 am and 11 am, parcel finally arrived at 3.30

Curlywhirly Thu 24-Feb-22 20:00:10

33kg labrador sits on tiny 5ft owners knee, rendering the owner unable to see the TV or move her legs!

Riverwalk Thu 24-Feb-22 19:43:51

Grandma watched the goings-on between a nanny and the chimneysweep!

Grannynannywanny Thu 24-Feb-22 19:42:29

67 year old grandmother needs to wash her mouth out with soap and water after stepping off a ladder into a tray of emulsion she was about to use on her bedroom ceiling. ? ?

Maggiemaybe Thu 24-Feb-22 19:26:54

Nanna, 67, slips on polished parquet while performing Going on a Lion Hunt dance for grandson, 22 months. Threatens in foul-mouthed rant to sue daughter for excessive housekeeping standards.

CanadianGran Thu 24-Feb-22 19:23:54

Sorry, I know this was meant to be a light thread... can't help but be worried.

On page 3:

Clerical worker and grandmother returned home from a weekend away on Tuesday to find her husband had put a first coat of paint on the bathroom, and plans on second coat today. She enthusiastically praised him and looks forward to a fresh looking update.

Casdon Thu 24-Feb-22 19:20:32

Heartless woman ignores spaniel howling for a treat for three long minutes before capitulating - will be charged for cruelty to said dog.

CanadianGran Thu 24-Feb-22 19:17:46

Transport clerical worker caught longingly staring out window at blue sky and sunshine on trees.

Having a relatively quiet day at her computer, any issues at hand taken care of, the clerk was found with a blank gaze and the worried frown slowly easing. Taking a moment to pray for others in turmoil on the other side of the world, she slowly eased back to the tasks at hand.

Redhead56 Thu 24-Feb-22 19:10:38

Such a funny thread!

downtoearth Thu 24-Feb-22 18:48:15

Grandmother 69 in purple velour leisure suit drank wine ,ate crisps,and danced to a shufflle on alexa ,wihout knowing what she was dancing too.
Guilty as charged

Ohmother Thu 24-Feb-22 18:45:15

Woman wakes up feeling like her head had been held in a vice all night ?

I’m much better but don’t feel 100% yet. ?

GagaJo Thu 24-Feb-22 18:32:01

Grieving teacher finds solace in her lovely students.

Grandmabatty Thu 24-Feb-22 18:29:02

Woman and daughter ate their weight in sandwiches, scones and cakes and refused to pay.
Afternoon tea for lunch at a lovely local hotel. Already paid ?

EkwaNimitee Thu 24-Feb-22 18:12:05

Tough old woman carrying giant sack of mulch…
And another, and another, and another!

BBbevan Thu 24-Feb-22 18:07:43

Carmarthenshire woman waited in vain for the builder

MissAdventure Thu 24-Feb-22 18:03:15

Courageous woman singlehandedly tackles sturdy spider next to the toilet.

Aveline Thu 24-Feb-22 18:00:47

Woman prises giant Maine Coon off knee. 'What a relief,' says plucky pensioner 67, 'Now I can go and get a cup of tea.'

MissAdventure Thu 24-Feb-22 17:55:32

Woman in nighty spends 3 hours 2 mins on hold to job centre.