Who has had this happen to them? (humerous post)

Somehow, my intruder definitely features both my grandmothers, and sometimes my mother. My sister swears our mother has been seen around the house.

What a great thread. Thanks, OP

I have caught glimpses of her on our CCTV when I've been checking back on any possible suspicious activity. She is very suspicious looking, doddering in and out between our house and the car, clutching bags of my groceries she's taking out of the car, and caught on camera doddering about in the back garden. Our neighbours must think we're very kind, letting such a strange old dear live with us!

Oh my goodness she’s here too. She keeps hiding things, empties the fridge everyday ! and makes me very tired. ?

I have one of these too stalking me, but mine is definitely my long gone mother. She is not just in my home - she appears in shop windows and mirrors looking at me disapprovingly. However she did seem pleased at the hairdressers when I had my lockdown, self snipped hair, professionally attended to.

I am so grateful for this thread as it explains a lot. eg why there is always a cold cup of coffee in the microwave, my wallet, keys, glasses and hearing aids are never where I left them and the room heater is on on the morning when I didn't even have it on the night before. - Yes, it all makes sense now - Thank You.

The trouble with the one here is that she increasingly looks more and more like my mother ?
I wouldn’t mind her being here if she was useful but she’s a constant reminder and getting on my wick!

She’s here too, with her big saggy belly and she interferes with my knitting and makes mistakes and her presence robs me of my memory and concentration.
Old Cow!!!

The woman who invited herself into our house just appeared I pretend I can’t see her. She is not a bit like me formally a very fit smart feisty woman with a bubbly personality. Our intruder constantly moans getting out of the chair struggles up the stairs whilst swearing her head off. Her appearance well that’s a lot to be desired her hair looks like Albert Einsteins it’s white and all over the place. She wears thick tights woolly jumpers and moans about the cold affecting her joints.
She has no patience and constantly tells MY husband to stop interfering with her stuff. He does have a habit of putting stuff away never to be found again he is actually losing the plot!
I am beginning to think they suite each other because they make a good pair.

That’s a good one growing old. Really Good. Your old lady is very talented !

Ha ha, I am thankful I am not alone with this type of intruder. Hilarious replies from everyone! I wonder if this is something like the invasion of the body snatchers?

I have one in my house too.

She does all of the above and also distracts me on my way up the stairs so I can't remember what I went up there for.

She sits next to me and tells me how much nicer my cup of tea would be with a packet of biscuits

Wonderful Growingold
I’ve got one too. Mine is a disgusting wench. How she has the nerve to walk round in leggings with thighs like hers I don’t know. As for her stomach …….has she never heard of exercises.
Her hair is a mess too and those wrinkles. Mine stocks the fridge with fattening things and throws out all my vegetables.
What’s more, she sleeps in my bed and takes up all the space and she’s certainly not an early riser.
She never tidies up after herself either and is forever leaving her coffee cups on my table.
Where did all these women come from…….have we been invaded ?

Yes, she is an unrelenting cow....She visits my sister also, and she can't believe why she(sister) has shrunk upwards and widened considerably around her circumference. We must all get together to banish these interlopers...any ideas, ladies?

There's an old, fat woman living in my house. I saw her briefly but then she appeared at the self-scan check-out thing, in Asda just now. My old lady is similar to my lovely mum, but several stone heavier!

Her cousin lives here! Or rather her cousins - the one looks like my maternal grandmother and the other like my paternal one.

Neither of them look like me AT ALL.

My unwanted guest is something of a slattern, when I put my glasses on, I see all the dust she hasn't got rid of, and as for her window cleaning.......she must have terrible eyesight too as they are all streaked.

Mine has must have been married to a shoemaker, she has a secret way of reducing the size of my shoes so they pinch and rub and I struggle to get them on. She has found a way to alter the heel height too so I stagger around and need a stick to stay upright.
She must be related to the others as she has the same irritating habits of all your unwanted visitors - especially the mirror hogging ones.
She uses my moisturiser cream too, but its not helping her wrinkles!

I find that if I take my glasses off before I look in the mirror she runs off and I can see my smooth, unlined face and neck again.

Well, at least I'm not the only one with an unwanted visitor. The one here eats all my chocolate and biscuits.

Her twin moved in with me during lockdown,and she`s put weight on too.

She always comes shopping with me and walks along the windows, blocking the reflection of my trim, sprightly person with her shuffling, old woman personage. I think she must be behind me when I am at a checkout, signalling over my shoulder and whatever it is she says, it makes the cashier smile in a patronising way as I try to remember the pin number that the wicked old woman has changed since I last used it

No doubt about it she’s here too, how do we shoo her away ?!

Hilarious! ??

I’ve got one of those! Hideous old hag who gets in front of me when I look in the mirror.

Brilliant! If she asks for her missing twin sister let her know she sneaked in to my house a couple of years ago and I can’t find a way to get rid of her ?

I wondered who that was. Her sister is here.