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I can feel the tears brewing in my eyes......

(122 Posts)
travelsafar Sun 06-Mar-22 14:10:59

I guess i am not the only one but i feel this war is affecting me more than i thought. I can't bear to watch the news, or go on my usual website to catch up on things, it is so distressing. I listen to the radio for short periods of time and that is enough. I am in a safe warm place and i want to cry I can't imagine how all the people living through this are feeling. Absolute despair, anger and fear. How has it come to this that a raving lunatic is holding the whole world to ransome!!!!!!

karmalady Sun 06-Mar-22 17:27:26

I am with you granny23, same culture as me, similar history to mine. I am from a displaced family, due to russia. An uncle shot by kgb. I have been feeling this so closely, I feel my heart pounding in my chest. I have taken steps to preserve my psyche and health, I now have a protective bubble around myself.

ixion Sun 06-Mar-22 17:24:00

I saw a little Ukrainian girl (on the news) at the Polish border, and she was clutching a toy rabbit - exactly the same as the one my daughter toted everywhere with her at that age. I burst into tears. I think that's perfectly natural

I saw that too, Doodledog.
That did it for me - collapsed in a heap and lost it completely.?

JaneJudge Sun 06-Mar-22 17:21:43

The Mum in pain because she had lost her young son was absolutely heartbreaking.

Chardy Sun 06-Mar-22 17:16:06

sodapop

Agree with your post Chewbacca.
Violetsky you must be getting dizzy on that moral high ground you inhabit.

An offensive post

NotTooOld Sun 06-Mar-22 17:12:44

The situation is absolutely terrible whichever way you look at it. The 'incident' that got to me was the very young Russian soldier taken prisoner of war being helped to call his mum in Russia on a borrowed Ukrainian mobile phone.

sodapop Sun 06-Mar-22 17:06:49

Agree with your post Chewbacca.
Violetsky you must be getting dizzy on that moral high ground you inhabit.

Chewbacca Sun 06-Mar-22 16:49:09

Seeing people dressed like us, with similar appearance and possessions does bring it closer to home Yes, it does. We have a shared history, connection, lifestyle and religion with Ukraine that goes back to WW2 and beyond. This doesn't mean that we care less about victims of war and conflict from other, more distant continents; the recent evacuations refugees from Afghanistan and the global support, donations and offers of shelter lay testament to how much people care for ALL victims of war.

HolySox Sun 06-Mar-22 16:43:24

MOnica .. ah yes, Schindlers List. What I took from the film was how German society slid into 'acceptance' as the atrocities got worse ... and even felt that as a viewer. Let's pray the Russian people don't get taken along that road. On News bulletins of Putin he appears surrounded by people who look simply dumbfounded. Let's pray they start waking up and take action before it's too late.

Daisend1 Sun 06-Mar-22 16:39:14

Redhead56
Many will share your thoughts.This is not 1939
The implications 2022 do not bear thinking about.

M0nica Sun 06-Mar-22 16:33:42

Holysox I absolutely agree with you, especially about younger people

I experienced this 30 years ago when DD had Schindler's List on her A level English reading list. She knew all about the Holocaust, but she just did not understand the horrible detail and found the book very low key and boring, whereas I was born during the war, remembered the Nurembourg trials and read the books and found the sheer banality of the violence in the book so terrible. So I went to the library and borrowed some personal testimony books about the experiences of the holocaust. Once DD read about exactly what happened in the Concentration Camps in nauseous detail, she understood Schindler's List.

The generation below her know all about the Cold War, but do not know what it feels like to live on that nuclear knife edge, where half of Europe lived under the heel of Russia and the terrible things that happened to people there. Even Putin's Russia is not as terrible as Stalin or Brezhnevs's Russia.

It is probably like we felt about the Spanish flu epidemic of 1918-20, before we experienced COVID. Now we can understand the fear that must have gripped people worldwide back then as it did us in 2020.

Doodledog Sun 06-Mar-22 16:22:00

Seeing people dressed like us, with similar appearance and possessions does bring it closer to home. As does the inescapable fact that this could escalate and involve us directly. Saying that does not mean that we can't or don't empathise with people in Syria or Afghanistan - it's just that those people are further away and there is far less that we can do to help.

I saw a little Ukrainian girl (on the news) at the Polish border, and she was clutching a toy rabbit - exactly the same as the one my daughter toted everywhere with her at that age. I burst into tears. I think that's perfectly natural.

Chewbacca Sun 06-Mar-22 16:19:27

Some things are better not said on a public forum, especially if saying it has already brought a negative reaction.

VioletSkyCan you not see the irony of you trying to police how Granny23 feels, thinks and posts and how many Russian citizens are also feeling, thinking and posting about this situation and being censored? Whilst you cannot apologise for your honest reaction to someone else's words neither can Granny23, Allsorts, Grandma70s, Aveline,MayBee70 & me and everyone else who feels a stronger and more emotional connection to the current conflict than others that are geographically more distant.

As for Some things are better not said on a public forum, especially if saying it has already brought a negative reaction; your personal reaction to how someone else feels about this war is not their responsibility to shut up and not voice their emotions too - one emotion doesn't trump another.

Grannybags Sun 06-Mar-22 16:17:57

I watch the news headlines first thing then don't watch any more. The heartbreaking pictures have me in tears and stay with me all day.

I have just spent a lovely day with my youngest son and partner but every now and again I would feel really guilty that we were able to enjoy our day together

Boz Sun 06-Mar-22 16:12:10

I haven't watched the news for a week, and I used to love current affairs because not only are the sights too terrible but there is the knowledge that Putin has nuclear weapons, God help us all.

CoolCoco Sun 06-Mar-22 16:06:41

I don't watch the TV news anymore - the radio and news websites is awful enough.

HolySox Sun 06-Mar-22 16:04:06

Granny23 I am with you. I can sympathise with your DD's view but younger people won't remember the days of the Cold War. The West's reaction to Putin's invasion has tipped us all back to the edge of WW3. Us oldies will appreciate and fear this more than our children! Also, the Ukainians are very much Europeans so we identify with them so much more. Conflict in the Middle East or Africa, terrible as it is / was, is more remote, physically and socially. Often when the West has been involved in such conflicts we have had a strong hand and often helped peace come about. With the situation in Ukraine I am feeling a sense of helplessness of the West particularly as we are bombarded by the plight of the people. Also, so sad to hear of young Russian soldiers dying in a conflict they had no part in bringing about other than having been ordered in. I pray our leaders find the path of peace again soon but difficult to hope for that with Putin in control of Russia.

VioletSky Sun 06-Mar-22 15:58:56

You know, I haven't told anyone how they should be feeling, I have expressed how it made me feel.

Either neither of us should have expressed those emotions or it is ok for both of us too.

I've watched local families going through this devastating worry about loved ones back home, and I can't even imagine how they feel.

I've watched local collections for refugees be absolutely slated by some saying we should be helping our own whereas with the Ukraine that is not happening.

Perhaps now people have learnt to empathise for one nation as being "closer to home" they can now empathise for many others and if that is so that would be a positive.

I cannot apologise for my honest reaction to someone else's words. Some things are better not said on a public forum, especially if saying it has already brought a negative reaction.

nadateturbe Sun 06-Mar-22 15:58:16

I feel the same. I can't listen to news without getting emotional so like Coastpath I try to balance it.
My level of happiness is definitely lower at the minute. How can it not be, when you see people suffering so much and know little can be done to stop it.

Grannynannywanny Sun 06-Mar-22 15:54:17

I feel the same. Heartbroken for those families fleeing from their homes in terror, sheltering in metro stations and basements. It’s on my mind all day and the first thing I think of when I waken several times overnight.

I’ve had my AC and 4 grandchildren with me all weekend which has been lovely. But I’ve found myself looking at the 2 sets of cousins laughing and having fun together and I feel quite overwhelmed with worry about what the future holds.

timetogo2016 Sun 06-Mar-22 15:51:59

I feel for anyone in the situation the Ukrainians are at this moment in time.
I cried when i saw the parents of that poor little boy,how sad for all involved.
The Russian people must feel it too.
And the footballers playing in the UK also bring it home to us how they too are worried sick aboút their families.

DiscoDancer1975 Sun 06-Mar-22 15:46:55

Granny23

I was castigated by my DD for saying that I felt felt so much more emotionally involved with the situation in Ukraine than I had ever felt with regard to Palestine, Iran/Iraq or Vietnam, and this was because the people involved were 'just like us'. Apparently this is not a PC way of thinking but I can't help my feelings. This was especially true when a reporter interviewed an older Ukrainian Gentleman with a full white beard, who was the absolute double of and dressed the same as one of my lovely Scottish neighbours. It somehow made the situation personal and brought it so close to home.

I know what you mean. The people are not less important in the Middle East, but that wasn’t driven by one man who seems to have stupefied all those around him. There’s also the nuclear threat.

Aveline Sun 06-Mar-22 15:35:20

I feel the same. Like always carrying a heavy load of worry and upset. I wake up worrying and fall asleep with those sad images on my mind. Those pushchairs! The people rushing to help at the borders! Wonderful awful stuff if you know what I mean.
Re Granny23 she knows how she feels. They're her emotions. It's not up to anyone to tell anyone else how they ought to be feeling.

MayBee70 Sun 06-Mar-22 15:27:21

Granny23

I was castigated by my DD for saying that I felt felt so much more emotionally involved with the situation in Ukraine than I had ever felt with regard to Palestine, Iran/Iraq or Vietnam, and this was because the people involved were 'just like us'. Apparently this is not a PC way of thinking but I can't help my feelings. This was especially true when a reporter interviewed an older Ukrainian Gentleman with a full white beard, who was the absolute double of and dressed the same as one of my lovely Scottish neighbours. It somehow made the situation personal and brought it so close to home.

I understand totally what you mean. It’s down to being in a situation where you can actually imagine that being you or your children or grandchildren. Which doesn’t mean that you don’t care about it happening to others. I feel terrible guilt that this has got to me more that Syria or Iraq etc etc. and I am questioning myself for this but I’m also having to be honest with myself. At the same time an American Facebook friend of mine posted pictures of herself having a great time somewhere and I felt myself feeling angry that she was having fun when such awful things were happening: maybe there’s both a cultural difference and a distance thing going on. And, if I’m honest my empathy is combined with a fear for myself and more importantly, my family. It’s complicated. But imo it doesn’t make us uncaring people. I hope.

Kim19 Sun 06-Mar-22 15:26:43

I've completely given up on the news for six days now. It helps because it's not specifically in your face with the most dramatic and horrific scenes it can find. Still have my imagination to contend with but that is slightly easier. I do tune in to the late night newspapers reviews and that gives me a more rational appraisal. Not at all good but gentler. Don't see the point in getting in-depth upset when I can do so little to help.

Grandma70s Sun 06-Mar-22 15:26:37

Chardy

This war is affecting us all because of the wall-to-wall news coverage, which is also fuelling anti-Russian sentiment. It's the government, not the Russian people waging war.

You are right. It reminds me of the general hatred of Germans in WW2, which was quite unjustified.