Money for refugees

In my case, I welcome them, but am not able to welcome them to my home. I have donated generously to the appeal for aid, though. Everyone should do what they feel is right and no one should feel bad for not opening their home.
Grannyactivist put it well, in terms of emotional cost and that's very wise advice too.

I've mentioned this before - the immigrants could keep some of their pride if they were granted our benefits as are other types of immigrant. Especially housing benefit.
Probably most of them are hoping to return eventually but who knows how long this awful war is going to last? And what a mess to return to?
So maybe their situation is more comparable to that of the Syrian refugees.
We have a cleaning lady from Romania, she has 2 children, is on 'benefits' she shares a flat with her sister and brother.
On a smaller scale we helped them settle here providing winter clothing bedding, extra food etc
In the early days. Every time she came she needed advice on a new 'probleme' which I found very stressful , sigh of relief when she left, they seem to think they've come to a land of milk and honey which they have, compared with Romania.
But she seems to be coping better now.
We have no room but even if we did I don't think I could cope. Sounds feeble but I'm too old now.

CoolCoco

Basically this programme is so that the government don't have to do anything and so that very few refugees will actually get here.

I am not a fan of the current govt and frankly would like to see PP sacked. However, although it's not perfect at least the govt has responded to the number of people in our population who feel we should be doing more. I have written twice to my MP about it and I'm sure many other people have done the same. The Govt's primary role is to look after it's own citizens and let's be honest here, it's clear reading some of the comments on this thread that not everyone is welcoming to refugees, so IMO the Govt has given us the opportunity to step up and help should we want to and is offering a small financial incentive. Either get involved or don't, totally your choice.

Onwardandupward -The problem with rented accommodation is one would need permission of the house owner as it may be seen as sub letting. I imagine most owners would not have a problem if there was room for a refugee. The owner would also not need to have the property back for at least 6 months.

Amongst others I have ‘hosted’ Afghan teenagers, a Libyan university lecturer and a young Sri Lankan man - all terribly affected by conflicts and the dreadful sights and sounds that they had witnessed. (Including one person who watched a parent and sibling being shot to death and another who saw a school friend blown up.)

Each and every one of them was treated as a family member, which in our house means they all mucked in to help out with whatever needed doing. They all needed space, time and the opportunity to talk, or not, about things they had experienced or witnessed, but mostly they craved normal family life.

As an experienced qualified counsellor I won’t deny that there were a few occasions when I took myself off for a little cry, but to see each of them begin to flourish outweighed my own sadness. It’s not an easy thing to manage though and I would say that if you’re going to be taking someone in who has experienced trauma you will need someone safe to offload to, otherwise the effects of vicarious trauma may undermine your own well-being.

@MaizieD - sorry, sorry, this is a bit long

It must be remembered that my situation is different from that most will experience - the people with me have close family nearby and have not experienced a war zone or been harmed in any way. My friend L was quick to get them over when she thought there would be trouble, ostensibly at that time for a holiday. They are not without trauma, obviously, having left their homes and property very quickly, and left behind sons/brothers.

To answer your question - we are lucky that we have a 4 bedroom house and there are now just two of us. Our guests have two bedrooms and a bathroom for themselves. We never ever go in their rooms, so they clean them and take care of whatever is needed eg change beds, clean bathroom, etc. They can eat with us or cook for themselves. Quite often they eat with Lina and bring us back some goodies ? If they eat with us they help cook and clean up, just as family would. If they want to they can eat by themselves and they cook and clean up (but that doesn't often happen). They understand we are not a hotel, nor do they want us to be. Food is not too much of a problem because they have been to UK a number of times, unlike many Ukrainians. They do their own laundry as and when they need to. They've been with us nearly a month now and that's about as far as we've all got.

Also, it's only to benefit "home owners". I have heard over and over on the news how home owners can recieve £350 a month... they don't mention anyone who rents their home.

Basically this programme is so that the government don't have to do anything and so that very few refugees will actually get here.

Kindertransport was the result of private citizens and non governmental organisations coming together to help children whose parents were either dead, in concentration camps or likely to be taken to concentration camps. If it had been left to the Govt, the children would probably have died. Private citizens or organizations had to guarantee payment for each child's care, education, and eventual emigration from Britain. In return, the British government agreed to allow unaccompanied refugee children to enter the country on temporary travel visas. It was understood at the time that when the “crisis was over,” the children would return to their families. Parents or guardians could not accompany the children. The few infants included in the program were cared for by other children on their transport. Thankfully there were compassionate generous people who were prepared to offer homes and support as in deed there are today. We all make our own choices, no-one is being forced to do anything.

On principle I agree. Wonderful people taking in the children from Kindertransport.

But we aren't talking about taking kids on their own, we are taking adults who may have kids- and that's a whole different thing. I am sure the government was involved in Kindertran sport kids being placed and accepted, just as they were in the war when our own were evaccuated. I agree with you Dickens, the government has to sort out the details and perhaps pay as much as they would if a child was being fostered. We are all in unprecedented times and many cant even plan for themselves, let alone extra's.

How many of us seem to think that the state is responsible for solving every problem

On an individual level, I agree. But in unprecedented circumstances like these - this is fast becoming a global issue - then of course the government needs to take some responsibility, not least because they have the resources to fund, organise and co-ordinate the response to a refugee crisis, not to mention the authority to change laws temporarily if required, and to talk to and influence their counterparts in other countries.

This is not asking the government to solve our problems - they are not "our" problems, they are universal problems and all governments need to work together to help to deal with them. Otherwise, what the heck is a government for if not to take control in a crisis?

Sponsoring / hosting a refugee on a personal individual level is not going to solve the problem. It's well-intentioned and for those poor asylum seekers / refugees who manage to be placed with an empathetic family, I really hope they find the comfort and relief that they deserve. But this is charity, and charity is a (much-needed) add on. There are too many refugees and too few individuals in a position to offer them a temporary home. Especially those among the older generation who may have time and even money to donate, but cannot, for various reasons, offer a home.

Some problems really do need to be 'solved' and dealt with by governments - and this is one of them.

Ive just seen a lovely video on Facebook of 2 Ukrainian children of about 7 going to a school in. Italy on their first day today- they looked really nervous but the whole school were out cheering and waving - they were greeted by a teacher and another child came up to hold their hand and lead them to their classroom. Just shows how quickly some countries have acted.

Between 1938 and 1940, 10,000 children arrived in the UK via Kindertransport. Priority was given to the children whose parents were in concentration camps or who were orphans. They will have been traumatised with no home to return to but people took them in, cared for them and gave them long term homes. I had a neighbour who was on the last train who went to a family in Wales and who, effectively became surrogate parents as she lost every single member of her family. She trained as a nurse and worked in the NHS her whole life.
Are we different people now? Have we lost our ability to care for others? How many of us seem to think that the state is responsible for solving every problem. "These people" are people like you and me, quietly living an ordinary life, just like you and me until they are forced to flee the bombs. "These people" are no less deserving of a decent life than you and me. No one is having a gun held to their head, don't offer to take in a Ukrainian refugee unless you are sure you can manage but please show some humanity towards people just like you and me, who have had their lives completely destroyed. AND yes, If I had to flee my home, perhaps leaving a husband and older boys to fight, not knowing if they might die, I would be traumatised but hopefully I might find a compassionate person to offer me a temporary home, who was prepared to share what they had with me without counting the cost.

I see your point of view Volver Yes I admire MOMB too.
I know that they are fleeing war and I cannot really understand why the government isn't putting the refugees up in a hotel if they need to be looked after. Just because I can't think of anyone I know who has the time and finance to help out in this way and to take on all of the extra work of caring for a whole new family.

I'd imagine the huge additional burden of cleaning, shopping , cooking etc makes it more unlikely that some will be able to host. People who work full time do not have the time for this and people with physical limitations probably can't do it. It's a sad fact, but a practical consideration.

@AreWeThereYet

Do your visitors help out with the chores?

I'm rather bothered by the assumption/suggestion that refugees might be 'expected' to help out; as if they would just sit around doing nothing all the time.

I would have thought that anyone, from any culture, would be offering help as a matter of course. Isn't that what people do when they stay with friends/relatives? Just muck in? Why should the Ukranian refugees be any different?

Did you mean like popping to the shops for me? Or hanging out washing onward and upward? My paying students even do that sort of thing. One even did some gardening when my back was bad.

OnwardandUpward I think if you read my comments on this thread you will see that we are very close in our thinking.

Taking in a family to live in one’s house when you don’t know them at all is an amazing thing to do and I can only praise people like MOMB who have stepped up to do that. But not everybody can do that, for many reasons, and the government is putting the responsibility on to individuals rather than the state.

However you said I think if there was some type of scheme where they would do something in return for their rent, like providing housework or other essential services for older people then they could be a real asset.

These are not people looking for a bit of a sojourn in our country where they are in a situation of giving something back; they are fleeing war. I have no idea what demons they will be bringing with them, that they will have to deal with. So a “scheme” where they get room and board in exchange for work is not appropriate. They need unconditional offers and they don’t need to be an asset, they need somewhere to live in peace until they can sort their lives out again.

AreWeThereYet. Thank you for telling us about your experience, having offered a refuge to a Ukrainian family. There must be many emotional difficulties for all concerned, but having the comfort of a home must be such a relief for them. We can only hope and pray that this appalling situation in Ukraine is over very soon.

volver

Sorry but I was amazed.

Having people fleeing war to live in your house if they do your housework is basically slave labour.

I'm sorry if anyone feels this way, but the truth is there will be a lot of extra housework generated with an extra family living in your spare room and someone has got an extra workload....Oh wait, that's the "host"? I don't have the time or energy to do extra.

So, basically they are guests and not supposed to contribute in any way? What happens when they get a job and the "host" is struggling to make ends meet? Will they contribute then financially? There should be something in writing that sets out what the expectations are because even accounting for "cultural differences", this is a very hard thing to ask of the British public. I am sure that some, wanting to seem magnanimous will want to offer, as I would if I had a large enough property and enough of a financial cushion, perhaps also if I could afford to pay for a cleaner!

The reality is that many of us do not have the energy, finances, emotional "where with all" and patience etc and the government should have thought of better plan rather than making it "our fault" if the refugees don't have homes. I do agree that a community sponsorship is better.

Again though, the British people come up trumps just like we donated millions to the aid appeal. What are the government doing, except making it "someone else's fault" and trying to get others to foot the bill?

I think this is a good idea:
www.sponsorrefugees.org/

It's community based, gives a family more supporters, is less likely to wear out a "host" and it seems the family have the level of help they need but the privacy too.

Thank you mumofmadboys for your kindness. I do hope that those who want to help, but can't offer accommodation, will donate (if they can) as, together, we can make a massive difference.

This seems to be another example of the government privatising the care of refugees. What’s the betting some government chums get the contract to vet applicants and monitor the scheme? What’s to stop some farmer letting refugees live in caravans and ask them to do a bit of labour on the farm? Plus you have to name the family you wish to help when you sign up- how many will be able to do this? This scheme has more holes than a fishing net.

We have volunteered. I am sure it won't be easy. However we have the advantage of a big house and several bathrooms. We have 5 children ,now all away from home. So we are used to a houseful and we have quite a few guests coming to stay. We are fairly laid back sort of people. Watching the horror of Ukraine on the TV we feel prepared for it knowing all these people need somewhere to go. We have a couple of holidays booked so we would need to leave our visitors in our home but I hope a friendship and trust will develop and it won't be a problem.

I think the words ‘host’ and ‘guest’ conjours up a picture of holidaymakers arriving for a stay at an upmarket B&B.

Sadly, this won’t be the case.

There is no way I could see myself offering 6 months accommodation to traumatised strangers from another country.

There will be many folk rushing in to sign up for this, only to realise too late what a commitment it is.

Thank you AreWeThereYet for your insight into the reality of hosting traumatised people from Ukraine in your own home. You are a few weeks into the arrangement, and your guests were fortunate to escape the worst of the war in their country by getting out early - how much more traumatised must people be now that they have witnessed first-hand the horrors that we see on our television screens every night?

This is obviously a huge undertaking, making demands on all aspects of life in ways that we may not be able to imagine. It needs to be thought about very carefully for the good of all concerned, before jumping straight in.

Wishing you and your visitors all the very best.