Unthanked

. No, no thanking of husbands. A while ago mine decided to thank me every time I made tea. I told him to stop being weird.

Lol

My husband cut the hedge last week, unfortunately I have noticed because its all accross the lawn where it fell

Thank goodness I don't have to thank him

My dad who is nearly 80 cleared my back garden late Autumn, I was very grateful. I noticed after 3 weeks.

Perhaps she hasn't noticed. I think some people just don't notice things.

I once met a neighbour at a party and commented that there was often a squirrel in the tree in his front garden. He said, "Really. Is there a tree in my front garden?"

Esmay roses apart from ramblers and climbers should be pruned back to 6-10” every winter. February is an ideal time. So you did everything right and obviously have expert knowledge. It was very kind of you and hard work plus you cleared up completely. Maybe it might have been best to have told her what you were about to do. Maybe she just doesn’t think but hey she will when she has a fabulous display of roses in the summer.

Georgesgran - love to prune your roses !

If you can just get some shears and hack them down - you really don't have to prune prettily !

The worse thing that can happen is some die back .

One of my mother's old roses is so prolific that I cut it back drastically twice a year .

The first time I did it I was really shocked at the length of the shoots - they'd taken over a bottle brush tree ,a camellia and the fence for support .
The flowers are soft pink and fragrant .

I propagated some new roses from it and an old climber, which is apricot and cream for the children of a lady who'd died .

Some of my friends are very appreciative of plants that I give them .

I've just lifted some gorgeous early blooming deep purple iris for one .They'd grown all over the Virgin cabling !

Esmay - I wish you’d come and prune my roses!! Last year after DH died I was promised several visits by a chap who never turned up. I found a second chap, but by then (even up North by mid-April)he said it was too late to prune them. I’ve been expecting him back this month, but he says his truck’s off the road. I’m desperate as the roses are taller than me now!

If she is anything like me she may not even have noticed yet ?
I love my garden but I'm not the most observant of people sometimes.

I would just mention it in passing 'Oh and I pruned your roses back as I promised to, they should flower beautifully now' and see what she says. Maybe she thought you had forgotten about your promise and has put it out of her mind.

My MiL once cleaned and polished my kitchen floor while she was staying with us - I was out and when I came back didn't notice as it was pretty clean and shiny before I went out. I did notice later but wasn't sure so was left wondering whether to say anything. If she hadn't cleaned it she might have thought I thought she should have cleaned it... I never did mention it.

You're probably not as slow as me Esmay!

Oh dear ,didn't realise that I came across as Joan of Arc - Hithere !

And maybe she really couldn't careless about the garden and only said yes because she felt obliged /was being polite .

Over the last three years I have a mobility problem and am slow otherwise I would love to help with your garden Callistemon !

Esmay
You say she's no gardener - so others may be right and perhaps she's not very observant either and just hasn't noticed.
Or she has no clue of the work involved.

You could just ask her if she's happy and offer her the bits back if she's not or is ungrateful.

I give a lot of plants away and plant them for elderly people

Do you live near me?
We're getting on a bit - do you like weeding?
And we'd pay!!
And say thank you.

Maybe she was not all that bothered about the roses.I agree with Hithere's post. You do seem to have taken it upon yourself to do it especially if she wasn't in to check and maybe it was too much and she is upset. Sometimes people can appear a bit overbearing and it's difficult to say no or say what you really want.

OP

Your passion for gardening comes through

Maybe your neighbor doesnt care that much?
Maybe your neighbour just let you do it as she/he knows you enjoy it?
Maybe the lack of pruning bothered you more than it bothered the neighbour?

I do detect a martyr vibe in your posts.
I also wonder what your expectations of thanks were.
Should neighbour say thanks? Absolutely!

Should you get so upset your hard work is not recognized for so long? Lessons learned.

Agree with Zoe - perhaps she didn’t notice. I really dislike gardening and have someone cut my grass etc. I genuinely don’t notice these things in my garden - it’s just not my cup of tea!

Isn't it great to be thanked or acknowledged?! However, presumably that wasn't the reason you did the pruning? I note you won't be doing it again. Sad but.....your decision, of course.

paddyann54

Did you cut them back too much? Iasked myOH to cut back a cherry tree ,he ruined it and it had to be taken out .Check the neighbour is pleased or otherwise and get instructions about how much before you do it again

Just skim reading this thread and I thought you'd said that you'd had to take your DH out due to his excessive pruning!

I must say I've been very irritated by my DH going wild with the shears.

The worst thing we had was at my parents. My rather awful BiL decided my parents wisteria needed pruning. It was a fabulous plant. Years of care and training had it flowing over a beautiful archway that ran from the end of he house down into the sunken garden. Beautiful!

Sadly my father agreed and left him to it. Cannibalised it. Totally wrecked it. Nothing left! He may as well have just dug it up from the roots.

As to the OP is it possible they haven't even noticed? You have obviously done a good job and have lots of experience. As someone has said you could just ask if they're happy with your hard work.

I had roses in the front garden of the first house we bought and was advised that Grand National day was the last day to prune them!

They did thrive!

Just read your next post Esmay - you do obviously know what you're doing!

We have a hedge between us and neighbours and have had it trimmed annually at our expense - no-one ever offers to help pay or even say thank you but they do say it's ok for us to do it (they get more sun if it's trimmed too!
One youngish neighbour complained about a few bits which fell on to his side and said he'd throw them back for us to deal with - he must be about 38 and we're getting on a bit.
Lazy lummock. He hasn't thrown them back yet though.

Maybe she has not noticed, if you want a thank you go and speak to her and tell her what you have done.

paddyann54

Did you cut them back too much? Iasked myOH to cut back a cherry tree ,he ruined it and it had to be taken out .Check the neighbour is pleased or otherwise and get instructions about how much before you do it again

I'm not sure if you can prune roses too much - I'm a demon pruner and chopped ours back so much one year that DH said I'd killed them.

They grew back in a better shape and flowered better than ever.

However, mid-March is a bit late to prune roses - hope they are ok.

Thanks for your post Yammy .
You understand as it's been done to you . Thinking about it -it's really not the first time !
But it's going to be the last !

It was first mooted about 18 months ago .
The neighbour is hopeless at gardening and admits it .
She'd just paid a man a horrific amount to have a hedge trimmed .
She wasn't sure what to do with the roses .

I come from a family of avid gardeners .
My mother used to win prizes .
I said, my family have roses that bloom every year and have done for over 60 years .
I just prune and feed them .

She said, I don't mind what you do with them .

I've been pruning and propagating roses for about 45 years so I don't think that I spoilt them .

I hybridise some plants and belong to some specialist garden societies .
People often consult me about gardening .
I give a lot of plants away and plant them for elderly people
.
Some people ask me to go to plant nurseries with them and whilst I'm there other shoppers will ask me about plants
presuming that I work there !

I think that this neighbour is just completely indifferent .

Unfortunately ,she wasn't in and I had a spare couple of hours and felt guilty about the promise I'd made .
If I'm honest so many people take advantage of me when it comes to gardening .
My father always tells me off .

Some people are takers and think it is their due, others are givers like you are.
I've had this done to me until I saw through it and it was about pruning in the garden like you. I paid for some large trees to be pruned, next door asked if the men would go round to their side, I arranged it. We got neither thanks nor something towards the cost, we got told it had not been done right.
After the third time, it now falls on deaf ears. A branch from their tree hangs over our gateway like Damacleses sword. When other neighbours point out the danger I just say tell next door .
Look after your father's side and let them have a rambling rose.

I'd either ring them or even knock on the door and say that you had finally had time to prune the roses for her and was that ok or hoped that they are pleased with the result.
You would be surprised how many people just don't notice things that are right under their noses and unless they saw you doing the pruning, they may not have even noticed the difference!