Retirement wishes and reality

Lucky girl 3
Sorry to hear that your plans were unable to be fulfilled. My condolences on the loss of your husband.
I’ve had similar experience as my husband became ill about 6 years ago and died last June. Sadly we weren’t able to fulfill our dreams either. I’ll be 72 next month and, like you, have various aches and pains. Knee pain and back/hip pain being most troublesome.
I recently went to an Acupuncturist and combined with the deep massage he recommended I have received considerable relief.
Whereabouts in UK are you. Would love to converse as feel we have lots in common.
Wishing you well

My Dad died suddenly at the age of 58. My Mum was 54. They had such plans for retirement, but it was not to be. Mum lived until she was 90, so widowed longer than she was married. As others have said, don't put off what you want to do. If it doesn't work out, try something else.

Escape to the Country makes me smile - many of the couples are retirees and what do they show them ? Houses either in the middle of nowhere (they have the usual dreams of having chickens and goats or running a camping site) or small villages where the only facilities are a pub and a church!
What happens when they can no longer drive and there is no bus service ?
Many town dwellers also have the fantasy of moving to a village and "becoming part of a community" when for years they have barely spoken to their next door neighbour !

My husband is taking early retirement. He finishes next week and I will also retire early, next year. We want to live close to the sea. We’ve spent the last 5 years travelling to different parts of the UK and finally decided on Somerset and I could see ourselves on long dog walks on the beach or in the countryside everyday, stopping off in country pubs for lunch.
Our son and his partner are having a baby in June and I’ve come to realise that as they try to get on the property ladder here in London, they won’t be able to afford childcare along with a mortgage. So…our plans have changed for now and we will be looking after our grandchild next year.
I suppose the good thing is that we are only mid 50s so there’s still time for us to up sticks in a few years.

I agree with all the people who say do things while you can and don’t put off dreams and aspirations until retirement. Six years ago we had plans to travel the world, take our children and grandchild on lovely holidays, spend the winters in our nieces apartment in Southern Spain To sell our house and downsize to a dream house, go to theatre and concerts more, have leisurely lunches out. For 4 years we did travel quite a bit, then January 2020 put house on market then before we could move Covid happened then husband diagnosed with Leukaemia. Our life turned upside down but you have to make the most of what you do have. Husband doing well and with care we are starting to go out, theatre this week first time in nearly 3 years and we have a holiday to Cromer booked in July with our granddaughter. Life not as expected but still good.

The dream was to find a little cottage near the sea with a nice garden. Make lots of friends, join clubs and have a nice quiet retirement
Reality is we bought a 3 bed ex la terraced house. It's a seaside town. Joining clubs and making new friends not possible as we moved 2 months before lockdown. People actually avoided others due to virus fears.
As for quiet and peaceful we are inundated with family and extended family coming to stay over at least twice a month for a free holiday.
At least we are never lonely and have nice neighbours

I’m so sorry, LuckyGirl3. You’re right - it IS a bugger

tanith

I retired earlier than my husband and we had lots of plans sadly he became ill within a few weeks of retiring and died 3 yrs later. We had a few UK trips in that time but the bigger plans went out the window.

same here. We didn't even get the UK trips.

We were going to explore the UK and spend some time abroad.

Kidney failure and covid put the mockers on that.

I had many dreams for my retirement and it has taken me quite a while to realise they won’t ever come true. A divorce late in life, my ex’s financial problems, (and debts!), ill health and a few other challenges have put paid to them. I am thankful that I live near my lovely children and grandchildren, can get by health wise and financially and am not facing the horrors that those poor souls in Ukraine face daily. I am just grateful to be here and to be able to count my blessings.

I agree with other commentators that you should grasp every opportunity as life has a habit of throwing up challenges and obstacles when you least expect them. My husband took slightly early retirement and persuaded me to stop working at 63. We had lots of plans but some health challenges and then Covid put paid to that. DH has now been diagnosed with blood cancer and that has thrown our plans into chaos again. Wish I could turn the clock back but have to just get on and cope with the hand you are dealt. Live in a nice place but transport links poor and so now need to think about a move to somewhere with good transport and health services.

My plan for retirement was to get a caravan by the sea and spend most of my time ther! The reality is I have a caravan by the sea ( 5 mins walk) but in the the last 3 years I have only managed to spend about 9 months all told in it due to lock downs and I'll health!

Sadly not retired and will not until 2 years, 10 months time !!

I'm happy in our semi=rural village close to 2 towns and eveything we need. Miles from anywhere is not for me

I never really had any plans for retirement - the time went by just so quickly and all of a sudden found myself 67!

I do the odd bit of work so am still of the mindset that retirement is for old people

Yes Gagajo the winters in France are no picnic either and heating a stone house is an unrewarding task. I have always had a winter holiday in England, cosy rooms.

I always wanted to live in the country, and now I do. Something told me I would end up alone, and I did.
I always imagined having a cat when I was old, but I've got Wiggy instead.

hollysteers

My dream would be an apartment with a balcony overlooking a n old square i know in the hills of Majorca, not a touristy place but near the sea. To look down on all the vibrant life going on below would be heavenly.
However I can’t complain as I live in a seaside town less than 10 minutes from the centre, good bus and train services etc.

I lived that for a year, Hollysteers, on that island. Very Spanish village.

Natives really don't like Brits. We're ok as tourists but they don't like us living there. They see us as invading.

Not to mention, the winters are brutal. And many of the houses have no heating. We spent the winter in the kitchen.

It WAS beautiful tho. My DGS was born there.

cottage in the woods. a pony to amble on, beehive, herbs, think cranford. Reality is that I was widowed, no-one now to share a lifetime with, to do jobs, to help me make decisions about what, where. So I have taken the safe route, detached symmetrical new build as like a cottage as possible. Centre door, red roof, porch, dormer windows, high but curved ceilings upstairs. I made an all-sorts garden with height to compensate for small.

Reality is that I have neighbours who care enough to give me their contact numbers, shops and all facilities in walking distance, available buses. If I could turn the clock back 20 years, I would have had that cottage in the woods but at that time there were two of us to consider, so I went with the flow and we were both happy

After all this Covid business and extreme Australian iso we have booked 3 holidays for the next 6 months thinking we might as well do it whilst we can . My DH is 80 so we are making the most of our time. My mum always said you are a long time dead and how right she was! Plus if there is a 3 rd World War and we are all wiped out ….

I retired at 64 to care for my aged mother - I was lucky just missed the change for women’s SP. DH and I had plans as he had already retired. But 6 months later DH was seriously ill so had two people to care for fortunately with my retired brother too ! After my mum died DH and I managed three lovely holidays in 6 months. Then he was diagnosed with terminal cancer and died within 3 months . Moral of this story is just do it !!
I’m not going anywhere despite my DD saying she would love to have me move to her village with no buses trains or shops - no thanks . I’m content here .

I always fancied a remote cottage in the country. I now realise how unrealistic that would be. No near neighbours in an emergency, no nipping to the shops/coffee shop/restaurant etc.
My friend stayed in her job until her mid 70s and refused to retire despite her husband begging her to spend time with him. Sadly he died a few months after she retired.

My dream would be an apartment with a balcony overlooking a n old square i know in the hills of Majorca, not a touristy place but near the sea. To look down on all the vibrant life going on below would be heavenly.
However I can’t complain as I live in a seaside town less than 10 minutes from the centre, good bus and train services etc.

Like many we planned longer trips and perhaps winters abroad, but Covid put a stop to that. Now with the war in Europe, who knows? And we are not getting any younger or fitter. I’ve definitely lost my mojo now.

Hope you're doing ok, hulahoop