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Difficult situation.

(23 Posts)
Secretsquirrel1 Tue 05-Apr-22 22:20:54

Poor you! That must be awful.
I know it’s not going to really make any difference to the sound but Couid you have a very solid higher fence put up or better still have a high brick wall built? Or maybe a brick built garden building.
You’d feel s bit more detached from the neighbours then at least even if you’d still hear the screaming. X

Witzend Fri 25-Mar-22 14:59:39

Would some music help? If it were me I’d probably have R3 or Classic FM on loudish, but any other genre or else ‘talk’ radio might be good.

JaneJudge Fri 25-Mar-22 14:46:10

A lot of day centres haven't even reopened yet sad so maybe what others said is true too. I actually think you'll get used to it too btw. I think you do. Both my neighbours are annoying and loud in different ways , next doors dog barks constantly. I try not to let it affect me as I think as soon as you start doing that it makes things much worse as everything becomes an irritation

JaneJudge Fri 25-Mar-22 14:42:35

If he has a complex disability it may be that he is still processing moving house, especially after a pandemic, which was really unsettling for lots of people with autism and learning disabilities. Some people with autism seek sensory responses to regulate and there are ways of helping them do this if they have a proper sensory assessment but as you are only their neighbour I'm not sure what you can do in respect to this.

If you planted some shrubs between yours and theirs would that help distribute the noise?

Aveline Fri 25-Mar-22 14:41:06

Perhaps your new neighbour will settle down as he becomes more used to his new home? I do hope so as it must be very difficult for you at present

Farzanah Fri 25-Mar-22 14:33:04

This is difficult for you and I do sympathise, particularly as the weather gets warmer and you want doors and windows open and to be in the garden.
Perhaps as others have said, things will improve as they settle in. He may be reacting to the new environment, and perhaps he will go to a day centre?
I would try and get to know the family.

nadateturbe Fri 25-Mar-22 14:25:22

Oh Honeysuckleberrie I do feel for you. I know it's not his fault but it's awful for you. You were so looking forward to living in your little bungalow, and it's been spoilt. I hope he settles down. If not I can't see a way out only moving again.

BlueBelle Fri 25-Mar-22 13:53:29

It’s a difficult one could you make friends of the new neighbours even expressing in a casual way that you feel very upset by the shouts and cries you could then work out if you think he’s being properly cared for Other than this I can’t think what you can do Is there a neighbour the other side ?
You would have expected the new neighbours to have talked it over with you and explained when they first moved in
Very upsetting

Redhead56 Fri 25-Mar-22 13:45:15

It must be distressing for you it would be if you was used to the quiet. My adult cousin was disabled and made very loud noises to communicate. My lovely aunties neighbours were used to the noise.
Would you think of having a radio on in the garden to distract you.

sodapop Fri 25-Mar-22 12:41:23

Maybe you get to know your neighbours a little Honeysuckleberrie offer them some help if you can. You could better assess the situation then and perhaps offer some solution. Try being proactive, life must be difficult for them as well.

MerylStreep Fri 25-Mar-22 12:11:41

You have my sympathy. My daughters next door neighbours have an autistic child. It is heartbreaking to see and hear him when he arrives home from his school. It takes at least 2 people to get a 7yr old into the house.
People looking in might think there’s something going on but this little boy couldn’t be more loved.
There aren’t any answers I’m afraid except moving.
I know my daughter has become desensitised to the screaming as sometimes when I hear it she hasn’t.

loopyloo Fri 25-Mar-22 11:56:02

If this poor man is so uncomfortable it may be he is not being looked after very well. The situation may not go on for very long.
Have you tried talking to his carer? Carers? Not making a complaint but hi how are you ? Sort of thing.
Perhaps they might find a day care centre for him .
So difficult.

Sarnia Fri 25-Mar-22 11:52:48

Such a delicate situation for all concerned. Does he go to any sort of day centre during the week? If so that might be the time to do a spot of gardening. Have you spoken to other neighbours who may be similarly affected to get their take on things?

Dee1012 Fri 25-Mar-22 11:42:54

My friend had a similar difficulty - her neighbours child has Autism and while she's tries to be understanding, the noise can be absolutely horrendous.

She is now looking to move as there appeared to be no solution to the difficulties she was experiencing.
It's a terribly sad situation.

AGAA4 Fri 25-Mar-22 11:35:18

I am sorry that you have this problem. Neighbours can make a huge difference to how peaceful things are. The poor man can't help being the way he is but knowing that doesn't make your life easier.
Have you thought of wearing earphones to watch TV or listen to music when it gets too much?

FannyCornforth Fri 25-Mar-22 11:28:01

I’m sorry. What an awful situation.
I would absolutely hate this too.
And I bet that you feel guilty for feeling that way, which makes it worse sad
I’ve no advice I’m afraid thanksbrew

hollysteers Fri 25-Mar-22 11:22:48

A very difficult situation, apart from moving, I don’t know what to suggest and do sympathise.
I had very close neighbours with aggressive dogs barking all day and they ruined my late husband’s retirement as he loved being out gardening.
Maybe as said, you may not notice it after a while.

Knittingnovice Fri 25-Mar-22 11:08:56

I'm sorry you're in this situation as you have recently moved in, so the thought of moving will be overwhelming. Although it isn't his fault, I can understand how neighbour noises feel like an intrusion. Is the noise constant? Are there quite areas in your home?

Oopsadaisy1 Fri 25-Mar-22 11:06:21

I know it’s easy to say but I really think that you will get used to it.
Our friends lived right by the side of the main Bristol to London train line, after a while they stopped hearing it, whenever we went there we nearly jumped out of our skin, they were very frequent fast trains with goods trains at night.

Earbuds are a good idea in the interim.

henetha Fri 25-Mar-22 11:03:27

What a dreadful dilemma. The poor man can't help it, but it's so difficult for you. Maybe it will improve in time, as said above.
The bottom line is, that if it continued, I would feel I had to move. But I know that's a massive upheaval, so.....
Best wishes.

Elizabeth27 Fri 25-Mar-22 11:02:01

I feel for you however the family has to live somewhere. I do not see any solution other than you moving.

Grandmabatty Fri 25-Mar-22 10:58:13

I would hate that too and you have my sympathy. However, you know you are being unreasonable as he can't help it. Probably his parents realise that his noise will be unsettling for neighbours but what can they do? I would invest in noise cancelling earplugs. If they ever ask if the noise disturbs you, don't lie! Maybe he will go to a day centre and that'll help everyone.

Honeysuckleberries Fri 25-Mar-22 10:48:51

I live in a bungalow and my immediate neighbour’s bungalow has a front and kitchen door facing mine about 12 feet away. There is a 6foot wooden fence between us. A few months ago new neighbours moved in with a 40 year old son who is severely disabled.
The problem is that because of his disability he shouts and howls and cries and screams.
Yesterday I had my patio doors open and I could hear him above the TV. I know it’s not the poor mans fault but it’s the type of noise that is extremely upsetting. It makes my heart race and stomach churn. I presume he isn’t being tortured but it sounds like it.
I have gone from having quiet neighbours to this mental torture. I have gone from loving my little bungalow which I bought after the death of my husband to feeling I’m in prison.
I’m dreading the summer days when the doors and windows should be open or pottering in my garden.
Any suggestions please, but I don’t think there’s much I can do. Thanks for reading.