just tell me its ok

It is absolutely okay to let all this out! What's NOT okay is that you are going through it almost alone. I agree with the good advice others have given, and send you my best wishes. I do hope you can get some help.

Not self pitying at all. I'm sorry you and your family are going through this.

Life is very tough for you at the moment. Do you have a memory Cafe anywhere near? There is one in our local town and people find it helpful. It would be a little trip out for both of you with non judgmental company. When DH's aunt had dementia her husband used to take her for regular long walks, which he said helped them both.

Don’t discount charities they will often offer a befriender while you have an hour or two off maybe go the cinema or out for lunch with a friend to recharge your batteries or do you know someone you trust who you could hire once a week for say an afternoon out doesn’t matter if he falls asleep they can read a book or something if he does
Don’t feel guilty it is a difficult difficult time for you and you sound as if you have other worries as well
Ask you GP if he/ she can direct you to whatever help they can and don’t be afraid to take anything offered
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Canarygirl1. You don’t sound awful, you are at the end of your tether and need a break. I have been through caring for a husband and I felt so cut off from life outside.

Perhaps your doctor can recommend some way of getting a break, perhaps a day club for him to go to or someone coming in to sit with him to let you get out. The Alzheimer’s Society might have some suggestions or social services.

You need to take care of your health. Your husband and family all need you.

Do you have friends or family members of your own age? If so you could ask them to visit so that you have something else to think about. Right now everything revolves around your caring duties. You need some me time.

Have you considered a nursing home? Even if only for a respite break. If not now then perhaps look into it for the future.

I hope you find a way to ease the burden. A big hug from me.
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Sorry you are struggling Canarygirl, you are certainly not self pity. I also think you should contact your gp and tell them what is going on in your life. You desperately need help and support,surely social services can offer something, carers maybe? That way you would have a few hours for yourself to get out.

Please take care and let us know how you are doing.

It will be OK Canarygirl. Talk to the Alzheimer's Society - their Dementia Support Workers are brilliant.

www.alzheimers.org.uk/

Love your screen name Canarygirl.
You have a lot to deal with with you children’s difficulties as well as your husband.
My husband has been diagnosed with dementia and I get fed up with making all the decisions and really having no one to talk to. I’m sure others will let you know about support services but the most important thing is to look after yourself.
I’ve had to detach myself emotionally and follow my own path as much as possible while still looking after his needs. It’s not where any of us planned to be. Good luck

I'm so sorry Canarygirl1 that you're going through this. When you feel you have so much weight on your shoulders life can seem so bleak, can't it?

When my DH was terminally ill I desperately needed emotional support and said as much. This arrived in the form of a visitor from a charitable association and it was so helpful. These volunteers are worth their weight in gold - a shoulder to cry on as well as practical help. Is there a similar organisation which can help in your position?

It's OK Canarygirl

I agree you need to speak to your GP. You are having to deal with so much going on in your family and don't sound self pitying to me

I’m so sorry, you have so much to deal with. Can social services help, as MissA said? Also speak to your GP about the way things are for you at present, I wouldn’t be surprised if you’re depressed given everything you’re having to cope with. The Black Dog Gang is a wonderful thread for anyone with problems. Very understanding and supportive.
Sending you a hug and hoping you’ll keep in touch with us.?

Have you thought of asking social services for a carers assessment?
They are fairly good at organising at least some sort of help.