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How long do you think it takes to ‘really get to know someone?’

(35 Posts)
Grandmabatty Tue 05-Apr-22 14:24:34

I unfortunately make very quick decisions on whether I will get on with someone or not. I am sometimes wrong. My Sil's gran was one. I disliked her intensely when we first met and I wasn't keen for a few years. However I realised that I was being unfair. Although we are very different, she is incredibly kind and generous to family.

1947Mercedes Tue 05-Apr-22 14:24:28

You never ever really know someone

Soroptimum Tue 05-Apr-22 14:11:35

When a new member of staff started where I worked, she was told that she wouldn’t get on with me….. She has been one of my best friends for 8 years! The person who told her obviously didn’t know me well!
Neither of us work there any more.

Kate1949 Tue 05-Apr-22 13:57:57

I don't think you ever really know anyone. It's my husband's favourite saying when someone does something that leaves me gobsmacked.

GrannyGravy13 Tue 05-Apr-22 13:49:14

The first meeting with the person who is my trusted friend was disastrous, it was in a work situation and I told my DH I would never have anything to do with her again

Two months later we met at another work event (I didn’t want to go) I avoided her, unfortunately our husbands realised they new each other through their charity work. They arranged for us all to go out to dinner, neither of us ladies were pleased.

Over a bottle of champagne and numerous glasses of wine we bonded and have been inseparable for the last 35 years.

Family holidays, their parents got on with my parents, our children are friends…

Oopsadaisy1 Tue 05-Apr-22 13:47:17

I too am very quick at liking or disliking somebody but I have been wrong on a couple of occasions, but as it was friends of friends it didn’t particularly matter.

If it’s for a personal relationship though it would need to be 6 months to be sure that I wanted to stay around.

Pantglas2 Tue 05-Apr-22 13:46:50

There aren’t many things about anyone I know that I’d bet the farm on! When pushed to their limits, people can change.

Oopsadaisy1 Tue 05-Apr-22 13:45:07

Most people don’t get to know someone until they are living with them.
But I would think that after 6 months you should know them pretty well ( unless they are lying about something and are clever at covering it up) let’s face it some people are con artists and are very clever.
I mean 6 months of meeting them, not 6 months chatting online.
it helps to meet their families, just like we did back in the day.

timetogo2016 Tue 05-Apr-22 13:44:23

Usually less than a month for me.
A week for Mr H.
I get a gut feeling if i`m not going to like someone within a few minutes.
It depends on the person really.

Kandinsky Tue 05-Apr-22 13:39:12

A month?
6 months?
A year?
Never? grin

What I mean by ‘getting to know someone’ is working out whether they’re generous, polite, kind, respectful, sincere, moody. Etc, all the major personality traits.
I know you can be with someone for years and find out they’ve been unfaithful, but generally speaking.
I’d say it’s quite soon, maybe 3 to 6 months, or less.