bbc1 10am online dating scams

Despite all the publicity women (maybe some men too) still fall for the stories and give thousands to someone they’ve never met. How desperate must they be?

lemsip, make that hundreds of thousands of pounds. I've just started watching the programme and am absolutely thunderstruck by the way some women have been taken in by these scammers. One has had to move house four times in order to hand over cash, and is now living in a caravan park.

yes and the other women was even warned by the police at the bank but she still withdrew the money....what a fool.

It does beggar belief how easily people are taken in. And it’s not just ‘desperate’ middle aged or older people either - I’m sure I’m not the only one who saw the true story Netflix film recently (Tinder Swindler?) about two young, attractive women who fell for it.

I think when you fall in love common sense goes out of the window. For some people anyway.
Even though some of these people haven’t even met their ‘partner’ - they’ve fallen in love with the idea of them.
I feel sorry for them more than anything - I’d never call them mugs or any other derogatory term as they’re probably just very nice, trusting, lonely people.

I think people are so lonely that they get swept up in these scams. From love scams to phone scams from Amazon/National Insurance/Microsoft etc, you really need your wits about you.

I've been contacted by a few of these scammers (not through dating sites, I should add). One contacted me and a friend of mine. He was so obviously a fake (a shipping magnate. Really?) that I was embarrassed he'd think I was so gullible. I didn't respond to his message.

Only to have a friend telling me 2 weeks later about a man who'd contacted her (it was a networking organisation we both belonged to). She'd told her son all about him and the son had warned her off. I didn't like to tell her I'd also been contacted.

The really sad thing about my friend was that she'd lost most of her money/savings/investments to her 2nd husband many years before. Wealth left to her by her first husband, her son's father. Why on earth would she be suckered a second time? She was an intelligent woman too.

Surprising what loneliness can do to people. I know we believe we would never fall for such scams, but who knows?

When love flies in the window - common sense immediately flies out.

The two don't sit comfortably with each other.

It won't matter how many warnings are given to some. If 'love' is the be-all and end-all of your life, you're already exploitable and impressionable, and common sense will be that little voice that's drowned out by notions of the ultimate great love and romance.

Imagining is far more powerful than reality.

I have had two goes at OLD. Nobody tried to scam me and the few I agreed to meet were normal men my age.

The worst one stands out in my memory. He was a CoS minister who said he would elaborate on his background when we met. When he told me he was married to another CoS minister but couldn’t end the marriage as they had a Down’s Syndrome daughter I lectured him then left.

It is a safe way of getting to know then eventually meeting people and of course you need to use common sense.

I am not sure how much sympathy I have for people who are conned out of money.

I'm with Kandinsly on this; nice, lonely trusting people who are vulnerable. I think it unkind to call them mugs

The thing is, the usual alarm bells don't seem to ring for these people - if a man, who was 25 years younger than me, whose picture was of a really handsome chap, was trying to befriend me and he declared his undying love (even though he had never met me), I would be thinking not in a million years would he fancy me, what's he after? This is exactly what happened to one victim on the show - a young George Clooney lookalike managed to scam £80,000 from a grandma. Despicable.

I think the rule is pretty darn clear hear NEVER EVER part with your money

I personally think that dating apps and websites are not successful and in time will fade out because even the young are tired of the nonsense such as photo never fitting the real person, time waster etc etc etc

TheodoraP

I personally think that dating apps and websites are not successful and in time will fade out because even the young are tired of the nonsense such as photo never fitting the real person, time waster etc etc etc

Rubbish. I met my now husband on a dating site, we’ll have been married for 11 years this Saturday.

I have noticed that the women that have been well and truly sucked in are usually of the same type, sadly. Chosen because they are middle aged plus , often curvy ( not knocking that, I am plus sized myself) and as seen by the scammers as "desperate"
It is lovely to be told that you are beautiful and somebody loves you a few times and to therefore build up a fantasy picture of the person that you have been in contact with for any time if you are lonely and feel that no one cares.
I still don't understand why the women seem quite happy to hand over their entire life savings to someone that they have never actually met !
There was even one lady whose son believes that the stress of her experience with a scammer ended up killing her which is so sad.
One thing I would like to know is where does all of the money go to ? Is it one person or several people that scam just once or keep repeating the offense as if it is their career or does it go into a central pot if there are groups of scammers?

Forgot to say, the picture of the young George Clooney lookalike, was not the actual scammer, he had picked a random photo from Facebook of a really good looking Italian who had not got privacy setting on his FB account. In the end, to get the victim to realise what was happening they got the Italian to facetime the programme to say he really was the man behind the picture (he couldn't even speak English, the programme provided a translator). The victim was still unsure, so the presenter phoned the actual scammer (the victim recognised his voice) and it was only when the scammer started to swear then hung up that the victim actually believed she had been scammed. So sad.

Shelmiss

TheodoraP

I personally think that dating apps and websites are not successful and in time will fade out because even the young are tired of the nonsense such as photo never fitting the real person, time waster etc etc etc

Rubbish. I met my now husband on a dating site, we’ll have been married for 11 years this Saturday.

Like Shelmiss I think TheodoraP is spouting nonsense. Every man I met looked like their photograph though a couple had aged a bit since the photo was taken.
OLD is very popular with all age groups. My young GP was using it and we used to compare our experiences. She found Mr Right and has been married for almost 14 years. I met OH online and we have been together for over 10 years. My neighbour’s grandson is happily going out with someone he met online.
It is a safe way to get to know something about compatability before meeting a person. Most people have their heads screwed on, it is only the tiny minority who are approached by scammers and an even tinier percentage who would believe their pitch.
OLD is increasing in popularity, for very good reasons.

I wouldn’t call them mugs either, these scammers know who to approach, generally pick on the vulnerable lonely ones! It must be awful to be taken in by these people and they hang on to their every word! Lots losing their life savings!

There are plenty of glamorous, wealthy business women (and men)
who have been taken in by scammers.
I think you'd need a degree in psychology and to look at each case individually to know why these people get taken in.

TheodoraP

I personally think that dating apps and websites are not successful and in time will fade out because even the young are tired of the nonsense such as photo never fitting the real person, time waster etc etc etc

Oh I don't think so. The younger generation seem to think it's odd to meet someone in RL!

A niece in London only uses dating apps as do her peers.

One of my sons met his wife online. Happily married with 3 children now.

It's pretty much the norm these days

Zoejory Oh I have heard different but then I have spoken to people my own age really but have heard some young people recently on the telly saying that it's not working fir them and full if problems

It's a good thing if it works still because it's not like it used to be were you would meet someone at a pub or a Disco!!

I just don't get it. They have never clapped eyes on this man/woman who is wooing them through filling their head with absolute claptrap and they are so absurdly taken in that they go to GREAT lengths to hand over £££££££ !
Ohh please.

I have a friend, a very shrewd friend, who met someone on a dating site, she arranged a meet up with me and my hubby, he appeared, smiled and within nanoseconds i had summed him up while she gazed up at him lovingly, my gaze was boring holes in his head. Within minutes my friend told me he was moving in with her ( she home owner, he rented flat !) and they were getting MARRIED.

Long story cut short, within months of him moving in, she insisted he move OUT, £££££ was involved surprise, surprise.

What I really can't understand is the women who carry on giving money when family, their bank and even the police are telling them it is a scam and trying to stop them. There were a few examples of this on the program.
I think these people are very emotion driven and need a good pinch of cynicism .