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Are you happy doing things on your own?

(66 Posts)
Shinamae Fri 29-Apr-22 10:42:13

I have been on my own now for nearly 30 years, I have had a couple of boyfriends in that time but nothing serious. Anyway I have no problem doing things on my own,for instance I go to the cinema on my own I will go for a meal on my own and in July I am going on a coach holiday on my own. It really doesn’t bother me at all but my children and some of my friends seem to feel sorry for me,as I have tried to explain to them I am quite happy with my own company. I do go out with friends for meals etc but if they don’t want to go to see a film I want to see as I say quite happy go on my own..?

Shinamae Fri 29-Apr-22 23:34:17

The only “pub” I will go in on my own is a Wetherspoons…

M0nica Fri 29-Apr-22 16:42:09

Grammarett I often did come home to an empty house because DH's work involved a lot of travel, mostly overseas. He kept working after he retired and was due to go to Munich the day lockdown started. Now travel has stopped because he has health problems. although he is still working.

However, I do agree, knowing your loved ones are still with you and can take an interest in what you do, does make a difference.

But my reply was in direct reply to the OP. My daughter, now nearly 50, has chosen not to live with anyone nor have children and has lived alone, and happily, for 25 years. She has always been entirely happy to do everything on her own, although she does have friends and goes out a lot with them.
But she is very content to come home to an empty house and her own company and I am the same.

GagaJo Fri 29-Apr-22 15:57:51

I prefer doing things on my own. I find others dilute the experience for me.

Shrub Fri 29-Apr-22 15:57:00

MawtheMerrier says it all really.

Zonne Fri 29-Apr-22 15:53:45

I will do most things alone happily, including independent travel/holidays, but I’m not comfortable going to pubs (although my local is fine) or bars.

Jaxjacky Fri 29-Apr-22 15:43:48

I travelled all over the world on my own with work, no problem eating out, or visiting bars, my ex husband knew it was part of my job.
I quite enjoy having my own time and have been on holiday on my own, I take a few books, similarly eating out for lunch occasionally.
I don’t agree it’s easier for men, it’s just difficult for some people, or they choose not to.
I’m pleased you get out and about Shinamae enjoying your own company is to be treasured.

Grammaretto Fri 29-Apr-22 15:28:46

M0nica, I would have said what you are saying before DH died. I frequently travelled and enjoyed things on my own over the years.
But it is very different when there isn't anyone to share it with. Coming home to an empty house - always - not from choice.

MawtheMerrier Fri 29-Apr-22 15:26:34

Monica; there is a HUGE difference between choosing to do things on your own either because your partner has different tastes or time commitments and being obliged to do them without the emotional security of the knowledge that there is somebody at home to tell about it.
Some people imagine because they are independent, like their own company etc that they understand those of us who are on our own. I was one, I know.
But those of us who have" nobody to do nothing with" know otherwise.

M0nica Fri 29-Apr-22 14:39:33

Happily married, with loving children but I have always been entirely happy doing anything on my own. Eat out, any time anywhere, holiday alone, travel abroad alone.

I find it very difficult to think of anything obvious I would not do on my own and have not done at some time or another

Grammaretto Fri 29-Apr-22 14:30:17

SusieB50 you and me both!
Thanks to everyone who is giving us newcomers to single living a bit of courage
My df has just called off our carryout tonight so I may go into town by myself. smile

JaneJudge Fri 29-Apr-22 14:27:24

I am also happy on my own too!

Redhead56 Fri 29-Apr-22 14:23:26

I often shop on my own and have a lunch my DH doesn't shop often. We ran a business so he hates shops I reckon since we had grandchildren I am a shopaholic.

Pepper59 Fri 29-Apr-22 14:00:26

Before Covid, I used to do tons on my own. Unfortunately, my health issues have got a bit more problematic, but would do things in my own. Not a problem.

Franbern Fri 29-Apr-22 13:52:58

Being 'single' now for about twenty five years, I have a great deal of practice of doing most things by myself.

As others have said, the only thing I find on my own a little pointless is having a meal in a restaurant. When I am in a hotel I always take my kindle to the dining room, to use whilst I am eating.

There are so many times I really prefer being by myself. I used to go every year to the Ideal Home Exhibition, and on a couple of occasions gave in, when friends asked to accompany me. Hated it!! Loved doing this sort of thing by myself, with no=one else to consider when or where I went, how long I stayed, etc. etc. Eventually, I never told anyone I was going until afterwards.

Love having a coffee and cake somewhere when out and just happily, people watching.

I enjoy coach holidays, etc. When I was still working, I went on a much planned few days to Cornwall - three nights in a hotel and trips to Eden Project, etc. Looking forward to all of that and not having to chat to anyone. Sadly, another lady on this trip as a single attached herself to me totally. I could not be rude and she would not take any hints that I preferred to be by myself.. Completely spoiled my first time to Eden Project for me.

Indeed the final day, I hid in my room after breakfast until the coach had left on its outing that day - and then went off by myself to a local jewellery making factory. That evening, when asked, I lied and said I had fallen asleep and missed the coach!!!!

I do enjoy company. Love meeting new and old people in many circumstances. But also enjoy many experiences on my own.

LauraNorderr Fri 29-Apr-22 13:38:05

I love to travel alone, absorb the sights, sounds and scents without distraction.
I love to travel with company to share and discuss the sights, sounds and scents.
I do appreciate that I have that choice.
I’m happy to eat alone and concentrate on my book or people watch.
I much prefer to eat with company, to chat with good company over good food is one of my greatest pleasures.
I am happy to watch a film or a show with or without company as I wouldn’t want to chat during any performance but it is always nice to be able to chat about the shared experience afterwards.
I positively insist that I attend the ballet alone. One of my greatest pleasures is to become totally and completely absorbed without any distraction. It’s one thing I prefer not to share and can selfishly remain in my euphoric state for weeks after.
I am confident and happy enough in my own company but prefer the company of Orlin or a good friend and grateful to have the choice.
I would never assume that a person alone is a lonely person.
flowers for those without the choice who are finding life more difficult.

biglouis Fri 29-Apr-22 13:34:55

I also run an online antiques business so that takes up quite a lot of time in sourcing new stock, photographing it, posting it in my shops and doing the admin. Not much time to be lonely.

biglouis Fri 29-Apr-22 13:26:29

I decided age 11 I wanted no children. I was married and divorced by 25. I am not interested in "family life" and never saw any point in it.

Like the OP I have a few close friends but am quite content (and often prefer) to do things on my own. Ive been all over the Middle East, Far East and North Africa travelling independently. And on the few occasions I was with a group I ditched them as soon as possible.

I entertain very much as my grandmother did. I enjoy a chat and a coffee (always by arrangement) but I make certain they know the time frame. Like my grandmother I would not hesitate to say "Time for you to go now. Ill show you out." In a similar way I always tell my hosts when I expect to be leaving and seldom stay longer than 2 hours.

If you dont enjoy your own company then you can hardly expect others to enjoy being with you.

Charleygirl5 Fri 29-Apr-22 13:22:38

I do not think I would dine on my own in an upmarket restaurant at lunchtime, never mind in the evening but I would dine in a cafe at lunchtime.

I have been to the theatre a couple of times on my own but I did not particularly enjoy it. I would go for a day trip but never book a holiday- I would prefer to stay at home.

I would never go to a pub on my own, not even to meet friends in case I was the first there.

Cabbie21 Fri 29-Apr-22 13:19:31

I am happy to go to places on my own and to eat out at lunch time, but if I am staying away somewhere, I am not brave enough to go out for a meal on my own in the evening. I will choose a hotel with its own restaurant, or Airbnb where I can be self-catering.
I also hate going for a walk on my own.

MawtheMerrier Fri 29-Apr-22 13:05:01

Don’t have much choice since Paw died, although friends regularly come up trumps either with invitations or are happy to accompany me to the cinema or theatre.
I actually prefer going to exhibitions alone (no pressure to go slower or faster) and actually often end up speaking to other people (of my sort of age) when on my own.
Meals are different and I quite surprised myself by popping into a country pub for a ploughman’s lunch the other week while delivering something to a friend in the same village. I did bury my head in my phone though after I had exhausted “people watching” out of the pub window. No people.
Company is good, but no company still better than the wrong company for the sake of it.

Blondiescot Fri 29-Apr-22 12:56:40

I'm more than happy in my own company, perhaps a legacy of growing up an an only child. I've travelled on my on, eaten out on my own, etc. Really doesn't bother me. I'm quite a solitary creature at heart anyway.

Shandy57 Fri 29-Apr-22 12:49:29

I know those looks Grammaretto. I had the most uncomfortable meal in a pub with my dog at my feet, it nearly choked me.

jaylucy Fri 29-Apr-22 12:48:44

Yes. I have been doing most things on my own for so long, it seems strange to be accompanied!
Some stems from when I used to go shopping with my mother - who hated shopping. We used to walk into a shop, she'd glance around once and want to leave without looking in more detail if she didn't see what she wanted at first glance!
Going to concerts - booked tickets for myself and a friend or relative and been let down at the last minute , so rather than miss out, have usually gone on my own and met some lovely people while at concert venues.
Same with holidays - I can go where I want and do what I want while away and don't have to put up with the cold silences when whoever I am with has wanted to be or do something different from me, but not said anything, and sulks for the rest of the time while we are out!
It is scary to go out and about on your own the first time, but it does get easier as your confidence grows !

Grammaretto Fri 29-Apr-22 12:39:54

Like you Shandy I am more aware of others who live alone. I share a supper every Friday night with an old friend who was at our wedding in 1969 so we go back a long way. He has always been ok alone, has never married though he has plenty of friends and interests.
It must be easier for men though......
I can still remember feeling very brave ordering cider and a snack in a pub in Kent in 1968, full of old men and not a female in sight. No comments were aimed at me but just looks grin

henetha Fri 29-Apr-22 12:30:55

I've been a lone wolf as far back as I can remember and still am. It's nice to go out with friends occasionally but generally I prefer my own company.