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Are you happy doing things on your own?

(65 Posts)
Shandy57 Fri 29-Apr-22 12:29:50

My husband has been gone for six years next month, and I now realise how many people are alone. I go for coffees, theatre and cinema on my own, but wouldn't go to a pub.

Reminds me of my flat sharing days when I went to the local chinese restaurant on my own. I ordered at the counter and sat down at a table with half a lager, feeling very brave. Couldn't believe it when they brought it to the table in a bag!

lovebeigecardigans1955 Fri 29-Apr-22 12:08:03

I wouldn't say that enjoy is quite the word I'd use but I don't object to going for a coffee and a cake while I'm out but not a three course meal.

I wouldn't go out to the theatre/cinema or pub on my own but then rarely do these with others either.

BlueSapphire Fri 29-Apr-22 12:05:08

I am happy, no, not happy, but OK doing stuff on my own. I go to the cinema, eat out, have been on holidays on my own. I fill my week with group activities, so I can have people to chat to. I have a cruise on my own booked for August. Have always been the same; I like to be independent and do my own thing. But I would much rather DH were still here of course.

ginny Fri 29-Apr-22 12:01:28

Luckily I have my DH , family and friends that I enjoy going out with.
However I am quite happy to go places on my own if others are not available or not interested. Happy to eat on my own and as Bluebellesays shopping is definitely a singular activity.

Blossoming Fri 29-Apr-22 11:50:35

I find it difficult, but not impossible, to do things on my own. Purely physical limitations.

Grammaretto Fri 29-Apr-22 11:41:57

Thanks BlueBelle. I will give it a go!

I will begin by going to watch a film during the day and try the restaurant at the cinema. At least I can hide in my phone or film brochures.

Food shopping is fine and walks but I blame covid for setting me and others back by months. I go on buses now but still avoid crowded places .

SusieB50 Fri 29-Apr-22 11:36:30

My DH died just before Covid lock down , so I had +/- two years of not being able to do anything anyway . Now most of my outings are with friends and family and I have now recently had a hip replacement so not going out much anyway. I haven’t even been to the cinema on my own yet. I love Cornwall but not in the height of school summer holidays so thinking I may actually book a little trip without family on my own in September . A big step but I know the area well and will book a cottage so I don’t have to eat out alone unless I want to . It’s tough Grammaretto ?

BlueBelle Fri 29-Apr-22 11:19:40

I am like you shinamae been on my own about 25 years had a few offers since but unfortunately I ve not wanted to take them up
I have no problem going to the cinema or theatre, walks, swims even a holiday on my own no problem at all but like grandmabatty I don’t enjoy eating out alone I find the whole joy of eating out is the company, the chat, the banter, the experience otherwise I may as well be at home
I have eaten out if I ve been out somewhere and needed to but it’s not something I d do as a pleasure, only a necessity

Gramaretto doing things alone only comes with practice like everything the first few times may seem strange or alien to you but you do get used to it and then you don’t bother It’s better than sitting at home alone

One thing I have to do alone is shop I loathe shopping with someone I m either rushing so I don’t hold them up or I m bored with what they are looking at so I have always shopped alone preferably

Elizabeth27 Fri 29-Apr-22 11:10:02

I prefer doing things alone. Doing things with others is usually a compromise, finding something equally liked that fits time wise with others means someone is not entirely happy.

AGAA4 Fri 29-Apr-22 11:06:11

I was in a little cafe in the Peak District enjoying a coffee and cake on my own.
When I went to pay the lady at the counter said she wished she had my courage to eat out alone.
I think it's people's attitudes to those on their own that needs to change. They always assume you are lonely and as for myself I am not.

Grammaretto Fri 29-Apr-22 10:57:35

I am not there yet!
My DH died nearly 18 months ago is it really and I realise now we did a lot together which I have no desire to do alone.
Cinema, theatre, concerts, meals in restaurants, cycle rides, visits to places, holidays.
That's it really.
When will I learn to enjoy my own company?
I have a few friends who are either in couples or who are used to doing things alone.
I have joined U3A and other groups so I am not lonely but there is definitely a barrier which your friends are thinking of Shinamae although you can't see it and maybe never have.

BlueBalou Fri 29-Apr-22 10:57:02

It doesn’t bother me doing things on my own, DH is unenthusiastic about doing much so I’m blowed if I’m going to miss out!
I am looking at doing a coach holiday this year, he’s staying home and looking after the DDog ?

AGAA4 Fri 29-Apr-22 10:52:45

I am happy to do things on my own. I often have a coffee out or a meal. I have had short breaks on my own but not a holiday so far.

Grandmabatty Fri 29-Apr-22 10:43:44

I go to the cinema on my own but don't enjoy eating out alone. I like the shared experience.

Shinamae Fri 29-Apr-22 10:42:13

I have been on my own now for nearly 30 years, I have had a couple of boyfriends in that time but nothing serious. Anyway I have no problem doing things on my own,for instance I go to the cinema on my own I will go for a meal on my own and in July I am going on a coach holiday on my own. It really doesn’t bother me at all but my children and some of my friends seem to feel sorry for me,as I have tried to explain to them I am quite happy with my own company. I do go out with friends for meals etc but if they don’t want to go to see a film I want to see as I say quite happy go on my own..?