Are you happy doing things on your own?

I nearly always find someone to chat to.

I always did lots of things on my own as OH was not a goer-outer. Shame really as whenever I persuaded him to go out he loved it; but I got tired of expending the effort involved.

I have no problem going anywhere or doing anything on my own.

I am widowed. If I didn't do things alone I'd do naff all

It doesnt faze me doing things on my own. I love going to a cafe, ordering coffee and cake and taking in the ambience. I write books so my mind is absorbing everything.

I enjoy going shopping on my own, without listing everything, I will just round it up and say I really do like doing things on my own. I THINK it all stems from being an only child, no option but to be on your own, so I am thinking it all stems from that.

I like doing things on my own,but would never go into a pub/cinema an eatery of any kind on my own.
If i have a KFC etc i would eat it in the car.

Yes quite happy to do things on my own, I have no problem walking into a room full of strangers, if the look at me then I give them a smile and acknowledge them. One Sunday Mr B was out running and would be gone most of the day, I really fancied a roast Sunday dinner so I took myself off to a good restaurant full of families and asked for a table for one.

I have not been anywhere on my own in the six months since DH died. I am not fit enough to travel on my own or carry bags.
It really does not bother me, I have no desire to go to the cinema or theatre since covid anyway.

I have always done things on my own, comes from being an only child, although I do enjoy the company of others and like doing things with a companion.

I can't bear doing things in a group, because projected activities, (meal, theatre trip, holiday) never satisfy everyone and there are some who will never compromise.

I do sympathise with those who are alone not by choice - but you can be surrounded by people and still be the loneliest person in the room.

I've always enjoyed my own company I married late so was very independent My husband has a degenerative illness now so I have to do things on my own good job I'm used to it

I'd quite like someone to chat to, sometimes.
It is beginning to wear very thin only speaking to (listening to, really) someone whose only conversation is housework, grandkids, goldfish.

Shinamae, I agree with you, and have no problem doing anything on my own whatsoever. Actually think my kids are relieved rather than troubled! Nonetheless, I do openly confess that I much prefer doing things in company. I am most certainly a peop!e person somewhat gregarious and certainly outgoing. I've been widowed for 25 years now and find this solitary life totally acceptable but not the fun it might have been.

Su22
It must be very difficult.
Hopefully, in time, you'll feel able to get out and about.
It's very early days, yet.

Hopefully, at some point, I will feel happy to do things on my own but since losing my husband a few months ago it is a struggle. I live in beautiful Cornwall but so many of the places I visited with him I can yet face going without him.

I don`t like it when limpets stick to me, as they have done in the past. Draining energy-suckers. My antennae are always up and aware and I don`t encourage this type of person. I am not lonely and tbh have no need to get out and about just for the sake of being out and about.

I am picky about what I want to attend, a good concert, a film, a county show but it has to be something I really want to see. It does not bother me at all being on my own at these events

I fully understand the position of those who have had long happy relationships and are now alone, but being alone, going home alone etc is not, of itself, a poor alternative to being in a couple.

As I said my daughter decided in her early 20s that she was too uncompromising to cope either with living with anyone or having children. Like most students she shared accommodation and that was enough for her.

She is not shy and retiring or a loner, anything but, and she has lots of friends that she can and does go out with, but she is just as happy, possibly more so, going places by herself and coming home to an empty house, with no-one to chat with.

I fully understand how she feels because I am similar and often consider how fortunate I was to marry someone whose work took them from home so much, that throughout my life there have been times when, sometimes for months, I have been living a solo life. It is not that my marriage is unhappy, it isn't, but my life has always been a compromise between my nature and my affections. In DD's case, she decided she couldn't make that compromise.

If people going places alone feel they are being looked at curiously or pityingly, then that feeling is in them, not other people. I have never noticed it, and I have travelled abroad alone for business and leisure as well as in the UK, and acording to DD, she hasn't either. I think it is a matter of confidence. DD and I are both very happy with our own company and will go where we want and do what we want to do, without looking for affirmation from others, or noticing whether they are looking at us.

As I said living alone, after a long happy relationship, is of course to have second best, but the person who lives alone and has chosen to do so, and there are many, is no more to be pitied than the happily married couple.

For heavens sake, you do not see men worrying about being on their own in any situation, why should women?

I'm quite happy doing things alone. My OH is content with doing little, so I have got used to it. I don't worry what others think. Having M E., socialising can be tiring too. But I am in U3A as I do like company, when able.
Shopping alone is a definite.

I remember in northern France once, I left OH wandering round a castle to go and have a glass of wine. I couldn't believe the shocked look of the barman and male customers at a lady on her own ordering a drink! Made me angry.

I went to a large event alone yesterday. Why not? But this subsequently was deemed noteworthy by someone my own age. I agree that other people's perceptions have to change, because I'm not going to.

MawtheMerrier

*Monica*; there is a HUGE difference between choosing to do things on your own either because your partner has different tastes or time commitments and being obliged to do them without the emotional security of the knowledge that there is somebody at home to tell about it.
Some people imagine because they are independent, like their own company etc that they understand those of us who are on our own. I was one, I know.
But those of us who have" nobody to do nothing with" know otherwise.

This and very much so

I am another, have to do things alone now and naturally that has made me very aware of other alone people. I will eat in cafes and restaurants during the day, go to national trust properties and have a meal. Cinema, theatre, not pubs. It is ok, once you get over the sympathetic stares

I once read about tables being put out for people who might want company, it does not happen. I do think that most alone people do not venture out to these places

U3A has started coach trips but so far I haven`t fancied them. Being `dumped` all day in a town does not appeal when I could drive there. I don`t like shopping, and especially window shopping, never have done.

I too live on my own, through divorce. I like all the things that biglouis mentioned, but I have gone alone on holiday. That’s the hard bit. My grirlfriends who shared hols with me have other commitments. So it’ll be a long while before I go on holiday, if ever. But there you go. There’s a lot of pluses of living on your own

There are some pluses to "coming home to an empty house".

Inevitably as an older person with arthritis I am tired, loaded down with shopping and longing for a coffee and a chance to chill out. Im free to do these things at my own speed, without having to run around attending to or servicing someone else. Or dutifully asking if they had a nice time while I was away. Or coping wthe grumpy looks if they missed me.

If I get back tired I can go to bed. No pressure to open all those packages and show anyone else what I bought. No pressure to cook a meal, engage in conversation or do anything i dont want to do.

I do enjoy the evenings when a friend or relative comes around by arrangement. But am equally glad when they have gone.

There is an old saying "Welcome the coming, speed the parting guest."

nanna8

That's where Probus is good for single people ( usually female) who want to go on holidays . They organise activities, you can share with some other person if you want to and they dine together in the evenings.

But is it very expensive?

That's where Probus is good for single people ( usually female) who want to go on holidays . They organise activities, you can share with some other person if you want to and they dine together in the evenings.

Interesting thread.
I've flown abroad on my own, but was meeting friends at the destination.
I'll happily travel by train on my own, and go for a coffee or lunch in a cafe.
I wouldn't go out for dinner in the evening on my own but I'd go and pick up a takeaway.
Clothes shopping is something I definitely prefer to do alone!

I’ve always liked doing things on my own but the pandemic seems to have resulted in me and DH being joined at the hip which I find difficult. He’s not interested in travelling abroad and I’d love to have a beach holiday somewhere but wouldn’t know how to go about it. DD went abroad the other week and everything seemed to be done on her phone! Pre pandemic I used to take the bus into town and go to the cinema on cheap afternoon; our current dog, unlike previous ones that were happy to be left alone, is a lockdown dog and we’re not sure how she would be if left in the house for a few hours. The only thing I wouldn’t do alone is have a meal in a restaurant. Years ago I would happily go into a pub on my own for a soft drink and a sandwich but was an occasional smoker and would hide behind cigarettes. I do need to have time to myself and have found the last couple of years difficult.