Swapped personalities??

Hi, to use your term, I think it is slightly odd. I don’t know about the personality transplant theory? but if she were our daughter, I know we’d have felt hurt being told about a marriage after the fact. But as you say, you’d have respected her decision and that’s important as it was her call.

I think we evolve and our life experiences shapes our lives too

My sister was the messy one and I was the super clean one when we were kids
It is now the opposite.

Ramses the daughter that had a baby, how much attention does she get, for being the child to produce a grandchild and one with complex health issues?
I say this not to criticise, but perhaps your other daughter feels your attention is focused on her sister and has perhaps withdrawn herself in response.

My other though, the daughter that you thought would have children, perhaps they have been trying and for whatever reason are unable to? That might be part of why she has seemingly changed. Infertility can be very draining and isolating if that is the case. Children don’t always tell us everything going on their lives.

*other though

The decision to have children or not often changes with age or circumstance.

Maybe you were not told about the wedding in case there was pressure to include relatives, as soon as someone says can just I come it snowballs into an event.

Surely our personalities evolve with age and life experiences.

Perhaps the younger one has been trying for a family for years without success and hey presto - the sister who didn't want a family gets married and has a child in record time plus two step-children.

I think your younger DD may be quietly suffering.

I don't think it's a good idea to post about this on social media either, sorry. You might want to ask GNHQ to delete your thread.

I can't see any reason for you not to post on Gransnet OP - I doubt very much either of our daughters read it, and even if they do, you've said nothing nasty.

It sounds as though your younger daughter is having some emotional or mental health difficulties, for whatever reason.

If she is, that could be a factor in not telling anyone in the family about getting married.

And, as Elizabeth27 mentioned, perhaps they were afraid if they mentioned it to anyone it would snowball. I have a friend who took off to Skye and got married with two strangers as witnesses so that there was no chance anyone could be hurt by being left out.

I do hope all works out well long term for your little grandson.

I too think it could be a case of your younger daughter maybe trying for a family without success, so actually drawing into her shell, maybe that’s why wanted a quiet wedding without the rest of family and having children invited, of course I could be way off the mark, the thing is we never really know what goes on in our children’s minds or anyone else’s for that matter do we

Callistemon21, a bit over cautious don't you think - as I really doubt they'd read GN!

I find it so interesting that parents 'assign' personalities to their children, assuming they know them so well - and that these personalities are somehow set for life.

We're all a bit different in the company of others, maybe behaving as expected with our parents, yet quite the opposite with friends, partners etc. - so multifaceted.

I never wanted children and had no interest in my sister's little ones. Expecting my first accident, though, I found my husband was absolutely delighted - so gladly gave up my much loved career and became a doting mum (much to my own surprise).

If I'd fallen pregnant when with my first husband, though, I'm sure it would have been a complete disaster. He was great fun but immature and childlike - certainly not reliable or supportive. I was a totally different (and insecure) person when with him.

Maybe, when childless, I too seemed 'unsociable' at family gatherings - as all my parents' attention seemed focussed on the grandchildren, leaving me bewildered, thoroughly sidelined - and wondering why I was there.

I secretly married my second husband with only our two best friends as witnesses. We wanted the day just for ourselves, without our distracted, loud, fusspot families (with a herd of noisy kids in tow) to consider. It was a wonderful day.

can't see any reason for you not to post on Gransnet OP
Callistemon21, a bit over cautious don't you think - as I really doubt they'd read GN

Possibly:
www.gransnet.com/info/in-the-news

Has this grandfather given any more information about his family than lots of other people do ? A certain amount of detail is necessary if advice is sought.
What about the many people who post pictures of their adult children and grandchildren on this site?

I can’t see the problem here.