Opinions here please.

Witzend

I’ve told dh that if I die first and he remarries and leaves everything to New Wife, I will come back and haunt him.?

Not that I honestly think he’d do it - not unless he develops dementia and some gold digging baggage gets her claws into him. Sadly I have known this to happen - Gold Digging Baggage got the lot. ?

I've told mine the same

I’m sure that after me my husband wouldn’t be so daft as to go through it all again!?

I’ve told dh that if I die first and he remarries and leaves everything to New Wife, I will come back and haunt him.?

Not that I honestly think he’d do it - not unless he develops dementia and some gold digging baggage gets her claws into him. Sadly I have known this to happen - Gold Digging Baggage got the lot. ?

This is my very last word, I do wish people would read the post accurately.
In the case of my relative, there were no children.
In the second case as I said everything goes to AC.
It is only if they all die that it is distributed to nieces and nephews.
I truly wish I had never started this thread.
To be asked if I want to be seen to “be right” as if I were craving attention is too much for me

Think both of those situations are pretty normal ANNSIXTY....Think if my husband stipulated he wanted neices or nephews to have something I would go along with it...Otherwise everything would go to our children or any children we had from previous relationships

I think that's what I was trying to say jaylucy - whose salary created the "wealth" it is irrelevant I feel.

annsixty, I do not think your relative can expect her estate to pass to her nieces and nephews if she and her children should die together in an accident.

I believe I am right in saying that the legal presumption in such a case where it cannot definitely be proved who lived longest, is that the youngest person died last.

This being so it will be the provisions of that person's will that come into play.

Your relative, being the eldest, will be presumed to have died first and her children and their spouses to die in the same chronological order they had been born in.

Unless there are conditions in the husband's will governing the money and or property his wife inherited from him, she can in England leave it to whosoever she likes. In a great many other countries, she cannot, as his children or their children automatically inherit a share of their father's estate, either upon his death, or upon that of their mother or step-mother. She has no legal obligation to remember her husband's nephews and nieces, or her own for that matter.

Whether this is fair or not, depends on what you call fair.

dragonfly46

I have two friends whose mother died and dad married again. When Dad died my friends got nothing and would have liked something of their mother's or father's. One of my friends would have liked her dad's medals but they were given to a nephew of her stepmother.

No I don't think it is fair but then inheritance is an emotive business.

We have made sure that our wills are airtight against this as our money will go down the blood line.

That is a very good example of an unfair will.
I have also seen a case where one of three daughters stayed at home to look after a delicate mother. The other 2 sisters moved abroad and took on none of the care, indeed one barely visited. For years this daughter took on more and more care work as the mother became more immobile and eventually housebound. In the process she sacrificed promotions and worked part time and missed the opportunity to save money and buy her own house.

When the mother died her will left everything to be divided equally between all 3 daughters.

This woman found herself at 43 with no home and very meagre savings. The sisters took every bit of their share, insisting the house be sold even though it was suggested by concerned relatives that she be allowed stay there for her life time.

Please don't tell me that wasn't an unfair will.

Joseanne

I deemed my very wealthy father's will to be unfair and employed a top London solicitor, Mishcon, to contest it for me in the 1980s. The process became fraught with digging into issues that I really couldn't stomach, as I was young and disliked confrontation. I let it go, life's too short, but it does niggle even today that he chose to do it that way.

if he had had a Scottish will or was Scottish any child of his can claim a share of the movable estate . That is no house but money shares pictures etc. This goes for children not of a marriage as well .

Fernhillnana

I’ve stipulated in my will (mirrored with my husbands) that if I die first he may NOT leave my half of the estate to a new partner or her children. It goes to our children. I’ve seen this happen and I think it’s so wrong for the first family.

I hope you got that will prepared by a good solicitor.

DaisyAnne

Why is it anyone else's business but the people concerned?

This!

I’ve stipulated in my will (mirrored with my husbands) that if I die first he may NOT leave my half of the estate to a new partner or her children. It goes to our children. I’ve seen this happen and I think it’s so wrong for the first family.

This is why I don't discuss our Wills other than with my husband as we have some joint assets and with our solicitor. It's no one else's business!!

Sorry, nadaterturbe - might have got it wrong again - sorry..

nadatube - you are very fair…..wish all second wives were as fair .

Depends on the relationship the couple has had with any of the nephew and nieces just as if it was left to a good friend. Just because you are related it doesn't mean you are entitled except in Scotland I think, where children can't be excluded.

In the UK it's entirely up to the people involved and frankly none of our business. In France there are laws giving some people preferential inheritance but there ways of mitigating the effects.

annsixty

I have recently come across two situations where the man has died first, leaving everything to his wife.
In both cases the man has been the major contributor to the income of the family.
Here, for clarification I am not saying a woman’s contribution is not significant.
In the first case , a family member, there were no children.
On her death, after him, she left her estate to her nephews and nieces.
In the second case the wife is still alive, I know every detail of her will.
Her husband was a very high earner, had his own business and worked until his death.
There is a considerable inheritance.
It is quite rightly left firstly to their family which is a small one.
In the event of them all dying together, a possibility as they holiday together frequently, the estate is left to her nieces and nephews, none to her late husband’s family.
Is this common and is this fair?

Unless you are the wife in the post, you should not be sharing other oeople's private affairs even anonymously

I have two friends whose mother died and dad married again. When Dad died my friends got nothing and would have liked something of their mother's or father's. One of my friends would have liked her dad's medals but they were given to a nephew of her stepmother.

No I don't think it is fair but then inheritance is an emotive business.

We have made sure that our wills are airtight against this as our money will go down the blood line.

No one elses's business who any inheritance is left to really. If there has been little or no contact between the deceased and niece and nephew, why should they even expect anything ?
I find your comment about the high earning husband and the wife that didn't work outside the home rather objectionable - many wives in that situation have been unpaid cooks, cleaners, hostesses, gardeners etc for their husband , so are entitled to every penny left , surely ?

Wow Joseanne, that was a hard read for you, I am truly sorry.

I think my father thinks I am solvent and won't be leaving me a sou either. We have only recently started corresponding and he makes reference to my 'widow's pension' - 'scrape the money together to get back to the south' - laughable. I am now living on less than I earnt when I left London twenty two years ago.

I hope you get free entry, Joseanne!!

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Interesting about copies of wills and people's strange choices.
With that in mind I went to find my box in the loft to re read my father's will. I think I had a case to feel it was a bit unfair. It was more the fact that he had listed multiple benefactors with substantial amounts that made my realise how little I mattered.
Nevermind I now get to visit plaques at various animal sanctuaries! Whoopee! ? ? ? ?

Thanks Germanshepherdsmum. I did find the probate details, just a few lines, showing his estate. He had stored cash in the loft, when my Dad got there the boxes were empty - his half brother had taken it all. His brother had been in the Vietnam war and had severe PTS and never lived on land again, he lived on a boat in Florida. He died in 2003, so knew his mother hadn't left him anything.

You can still send for a copy Shandy, I have done that in the past for family history but would have to google who I wrote to. I just needed name, date and place of death and it cost £5 but that was some years back.