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(116 Posts)
annsixty Sun 01-May-22 21:54:52

I have recently come across two situations where the man has died first, leaving everything to his wife.
In both cases the man has been the major contributor to the income of the family.
Here, for clarification I am not saying a woman’s contribution is not significant.
In the first case , a family member, there were no children.
On her death, after him, she left her estate to her nephews and nieces.
In the second case the wife is still alive, I know every detail of her will.
Her husband was a very high earner, had his own business and worked until his death.
There is a considerable inheritance.
It is quite rightly left firstly to their family which is a small one.
In the event of them all dying together, a possibility as they holiday together frequently, the estate is left to her nieces and nephews, none to her late husband’s family.
Is this common and is this fair?

Shandy57 Tue 03-May-22 09:39:58

I tried to find my late grandad's will on line last night, unfortunately they were only made public from 1995.

I did find my late grandma's - there was an upset over her will when she died, and I didn't know what it was about. Seems she had excluded my uncle, and left her estate to my Dad and her nephew.

Joseanne Tue 03-May-22 07:23:47

I'm not sure but I thought the term millionaire didn't include your property. Some people can have a house valued at a million plus but they are only millionaires on paper, not in the bank?

Nannagarra Mon 02-May-22 23:21:03

Sorry Daisyanne. I assume so but do not know the answer.
Frankly, I’m astounded by it.

DaisyAnne Mon 02-May-22 22:53:07

Is that mainly because of the value of the home, Nannagarra.

Serendipity22 Mon 02-May-22 22:48:02

In my view, the contents of the will belonging the the deceased are nobody else's business.

The word 'fairness' has been mentioned, I don't think fairness comes into it, to me its a case of a will states the deceased wishes, end of.

smile

Nannagarra Mon 02-May-22 21:23:21

Thinking of your comment, welbeck, I was amazed to hear a fact last week on BBC radio: one in four homes owned by pensioners in the UK is, apparently, headed by a millionaire.

Callistemon21 Mon 02-May-22 20:22:06

It’s a personal choice. I’ve made provision for the dogs, left some cash for their care. Since that will was signed, the two named dogs have died. My current two aren’t anything like as easy to care for. This thread has me reflecting on how fair I’ve been in leaving them to my sisters ?‍?

I hope no-one leaves me their cats. ??
Or their dogs, I might love the dog but I'm just too old to look it ?

Callistemon21 Mon 02-May-22 20:18:59

When someone has inherited the money, property etc is theirs to do with as they wish.

Others may feel disgruntled for whatever reason but it was never theirs in the first place.

TheodoraP Mon 02-May-22 20:13:20

Simple answer is No it is not fair

I think it's unlikely that they will die together but if they did the inheritance should be shared equally between both sides not just hers

Having said that perhaps he had no desire to leave anything to his side of the family

Vintagejazz Mon 02-May-22 19:57:29

In 'relation' to her will.

Vintagejazz Mon 02-May-22 19:56:55

Yes I have a friend who is absolutely heartbroken because of bad advice her mum received in restoration her will.

It's not about the money for her but the fact that this is the last communication she has received from her mother, who she loved and looked after.

CanadianGran Mon 02-May-22 19:46:42

The beauty of going to a lawyer for a will instead of doing it yourself is the amount of advice received. Ours is very basic, but still there were a few items that we hadn't thought of. we had time to discuss it and make a decision.

No matter how large or small the estate, it makes things so much easier when one dies. I hate to hear tales of families left angry or torn apart because someone didn't make things clear, or didn't think out all the potential pitfalls.

Iam64 Mon 02-May-22 19:26:48

Yes I agree
But my point was about law and wills f?

Germanshepherdsmum Mon 02-May-22 19:20:10

Unlikely that our professional paths crossed Iam, but our love of dogs and other animals is the same.

Iam64 Mon 02-May-22 18:56:37

Germanshepherdsmum

?

I’m thinking that’s an agreeing emoticon GSM. I wouldn’t be surprised if your working life meant you’re no stranger

welbeck Mon 02-May-22 17:30:00

most people have got nothing to leave, or negligible.
next essay: the love of money is the root of all evil; discuss.

Germanshepherdsmum Mon 02-May-22 17:25:02

?

Iam64 Mon 02-May-22 17:12:49

I’m beyond believing inheritance has to be ‘fair’. As we see in discussions here, there are endless equally valid ways of understanding fairness
Read the estrangement threads and try to understand fairness in family disputes that lead to estrangement
Is it ‘fair’ to leave equal inheritance to five children, four of whom have loved and supported their parents, one of them having caused huge distress and estranging themselves from their entire family? There may be different views on that

It’s a personal choice. I’ve made provision for the dogs, left some cash for their care. Since that will was signed, the two named dogs have died. My current two aren’t anything like as easy to care for. This thread has me reflecting on how fair I’ve been in leaving them to my sisters ?‍?

lovebeigecardigans1955 Mon 02-May-22 16:48:43

You can't please everyone even if you try to be fair. A childless person may leave equal shares to their siblings and then their spouses if they are pre-deceased.

If equal shares went to Tom, he dies first so his share will go to his wife. The same with Dick and his wife, then Harriet and husband. Those siblings can then dole out their share to their children in equal amounts.

But then the disagreements would start. Brothers Tom and Dick have one child each, Harriet has three children. Dear old auntie has lost contact with Tom and Dick's children. Harriet's three children seldom visit but would help dear old auntie in a crisis. Harriet would ask why they should all get equal shares when the other two never visit? Why should they get anything at all, after all they'd leave nothing to auntie but is that the point?

Even trying to be fair causes problems. The money might as well be left to the cat's home. Nephews and nieces may well take umbrage. You really can't please them all.

Nannagarra Mon 02-May-22 16:15:28

GSM He was NC (hence excluded), then stripped himself of assets to win on the grounds of comparative financial disadvantage.

nadateturbe Mon 02-May-22 14:31:27

My husbands estate is much more than mine. I have made sure his children inherit more. He earned most of it before I met him. I feel this is fair. If he had no children it would be mine.

NotSpaghetti Mon 02-May-22 14:17:16

Going back to the OP you say the man was the major contributor to the income of the family but I feel that many relationships are not built on who contributes most financially so don't feel this is anything to do with it.
He can leave his half of it to his wife and she can do as she wishes.
If he wanted someone else to have a portion of it he will no doubt have told his wife this.

MissAdventure Mon 02-May-22 14:02:50

It's fair that a persons money goes to the person they want to have it.
After that, it is for that person to leave as they see fit.

It can't be dictated.

DaisyAnne Mon 02-May-22 14:02:15

annsixty

As the OP I wasn’t intending to discuss individual cases, it just happened that I knew of two situations and wondered about how other people would act in a similar situation.
I myself always try to do the fair and what I consider the right thing.
I do agree though that fair is not part of today’s world and we must “suck it up”.

I'm not sure who said "fair is not part of today’s world and we must “suck it up”. It seems unhelpful.

However, I myself always try to do the fair and what I consider the right thing. is talking about your "fair" and your "right thing". Except, for some overarching areas we all agree are neither fair nor right, murdering someone perhaps, we will not all agree on either.

Did you want to be told you were right? We so seldom are though, in other people's eyes. You only need to be right in your own eyes and, if you have one, your God's or any other form of conscience.

Chestnut Mon 02-May-22 14:01:47

Joseanne

If, as in the unlikely event of the entire family dying together on holiday, does it matter what happens to the estate?

Unlikely maybe, but not impossible. That is exactly what wills are all about ........ what if?