Thinking of trying online dating site…good idea?

You won’t necessarily know where they are

Nana 5852
What a lovely post!
Congratulations to you.

I met my husband through a dating site. We married 3 years later and will be celebrating our 10th anniversary this summer the day after my 70th birthday. We too started out as ‘pen pals’ , progressed to phone calls weeks later and met only after 3 months of exchanges. I had been on the site about 3 years, met some weird men, some time wasters, and some pleasant men - one of whom I’m still friends with, but on the whole had fun.
I think the process is a bit like house hunting, I had a wish list but when push came to shove I picked with my heart. My lovely husband was too far away, not in my specified age group and did not share some of my interests. I had rejected many who did tick these boxes. I love him more now than I did then. I feel most fortunate to have found him.
Use your good sense, have fun and see what happens. I wish you the very best of luck.

Hi I found my husband online we were in our fifties, I wasn’t finding the right sort of man going out in pubs. You can chat online getting to know someone, your interests etc. Then meet in a public place in the daytime is best.

Bear in mind that what may appear to be discrete dating sites e.g. Capital FM are actually run by companies which have other dating sites in their stable. Capital FM's is owned by Dating Lab, a Jersey registered company which runs sites for Global Radio (which is Capital, LBC, Heart and others and other media brands e.g. The Times, The Telegraph and Saga.

This may mean that though you register with, say, Capital FM, your profile may also be seen by people who register with dating sites run by those other brands. You'd need to check the small print.

It's can be a good thing in that your profile will be seen more widely but also means that it is being seen by people who don't necessarily share your interest(s) e.g. classical music, or your world view if that is important to you.

For example, Match group own more than 45 brands as well as Match including Tinder, PlentyOfFish and OurTime.

Thanks for all these comments, I’m finding them very enlightening. ClassicFM dating sounds good as that is the radio station I listen to.

I met a lovely guy on the Times site and we have been together for 3 1/2 years now… I also met some ok guys and a kinky millionaire… just go for it and you will know if you meet the guy for you… good luck

I was a gran at 46!

I met my partner 14 years ago through one of the online dating sites. I was 47, so was he, we had both come out of long term relationships and been cheated on by our ex's. Must admit I had a good feeling about him from the outset. However, prior to meeting him, I had met up with quite a few others, could write a book about some of them, but it's not too hard to distinguish those that are fibbers, players, married etc.. from the genuine. I also tried going to organised singles nights, again that was interesting but found I struggled being forthright with some desperate souls for whom the spark was never going to flicker but they just wouldn't take the hint. Try it, but don't rush into meeting up, chat first for a while, bear in mind that some profiles and photos may be exaggerated or not current, tell a friend where and when you are planning on meeting up, make sure it is a busy public place and it's good to always have an exit plan just in case...

ShropshireMiss - give it a try - you have nothing to lose if you keep your head You can say exactly what you're looking for in a date/partner and it doesn't matter how long it takes before you find someone you're comfortable with - does it? My brother-in-law who had a very complicated life with three children to different mothers was very open and honest when he wanted to find a fulfilling relationship and he hit the jackpot - he and his wife of now many years are happy as can be. However, I know of younger people who've had poor experiences but that's a matter of maturity I think in terms of reading between the lines. You have a lot of life ahead of you so make it what you want. Good luck.

I was a grandma at 42. Perhaps she is too

I know of three happy marriages which began via dating sites. Be cautious, but also be lighthearted - seems to be the their main advice. By lighthearted I think they mean be open to whoever you meet, and if it doesn't work, move on and cheerfully keep going.

Too Old???? never. I met my husband four and half years ago and we married four weeks ago age 71 and 75.

Go for it. The site was 'Ourtime' for the over 50s and another close friend I know also met her forever partner. I married mine four weeks ago. Just have fun with it and stay safe.

There's a dating site called Bumble where the women are far more in charge of what's happening than how it works on Tinder.

MawtheMerrier

Not sure why a 49-year old is asking this question on this site.
Approval from “oldest and wisers “ ?

It's perfectly possible to be a Gran at 49! And even if not, there's a lot of experience of all sorts among us so good for her!

Thanks Esspee
I just might. It would be nice to have some male attention.

Omalinda 65 is not too old. You have probably around 20 years ahead of you and there are lots of over 60 year old men who are looking for a partner to have fun with.
Women are not the only ones who would like company for meals, entertainment, holidays etc.
Give it another go.

Remember that all the bad things that can happen, can also happen with a man you meet in real life too. If you meet someone in a bar or even a club/group, they can still lie about who they are. Just keeps your wits about you. You’ll be able to tell the ones who just want quick sex. They don’t hide it as there are plenty of women online who want the same. The thing you have to be careful of are the ones who love bomb women for weeks, even a couple of months, pretending to be successful/rich. Then they run into a ‘cash flow’ problem and ask for money from a woman who has grown to feel very fond of them. They have usually never met them in real life. If you get a hint of that, run far, run fast and block them on everything. I met my now husband online 14 years ago when I was 49. It was a lovely process and we’re very happy. I also know of several others who met their spouses online. Enjoy!

A number of years ago I tried online dating. One man was really nice and chatty and we got on really well but that’s as far as it went. Next one again seemed lovely until I worked with a work colleague that we were both chatting to same man. Even our conversations with him were similar. ? Third one actually asked for date. I said yes. Never heard from him again. I gave up. I’m 65 now and too old. I go know people who have found partners and things have worked out really well for them. Good luck!

Go for it but be careful. My son met his wife on line, Whirlwind relationship, Married and one baby now and very happy. . I have tried it in the past, as did a friend of mine, we never met Mr. Right but had fun with a few Mr. Wrongs and I did meet one who was very nasty. But I do have stories to tell.
Never part with any money as some of these 'scams' are based in UK. Good luck.

Great idea, I met a lot of nice men through dating sites when I was 50 but finally met my husband via a church speed dating event and we've been married 13 yrs now. Be cautious about your assets etc. but its so much better than pre-internet days when it was mostly down to chance

Please watch The Tinder Swindler. Not one to put you off but there are many sharks out there, Why not join a group like U3A where you might meet someone in person.

Friends kids ( now 33 & 35 ) advertised her without informing the woman!! They even met fellers who sounded normal and told them the truth…that their mother wouldn’t touch internet dating sites but would like to meet a suitable partner sometime in the future. One man seemed ideal for their mum so they arranged for him to attend a village show to “innocently “ meet her.
That was in 2012 and she is now long happily re married. Internet dating good result? Well. Not exactly. The man had a rescue dogs like my friend, so the arrangement was that both dogs would enter the “Best Rescue Dog “ competition.
It turned out to be pure chaos. My friends elderly dog was attacked by another dog and the fight was broken up by a man who eventually married my friend and the e-mail contender ? Don’t know what happened to him but my friend still says people who do internet dating are daft. Her kids still haven’t told her about what they’d arranged and I doubt if they ever will

I think I must have been very lucky with internet dating as I met my 2nd husband through Match.com when I was 55 (he was 56) and I'm now nearly 71 (very happily married for over 13 years). He was the 3rd man I met in person, all of whom lived no more than about 20 miles from me. We both had adult children when we met and that has worked out fine. I contacted him first as, although I hadn't even seen a photo of him, I really liked what he wrote about himself which, luckily, was true.