Got told off by everyone today

No one alive today, even if they're 100, can not know that the N word is offensive as it always has been.

My late mother died aged 91 and never used that word - in her youth Coloured would have been polite and respectful, but never the N word.

It's always been derogatory and it's disingenuous to pretend otherwise.

I must have missed those, volver

Never heard bangles called that- ever.

Sorry, that was for MissA.

Aye, right.

I have literally heard these tales before. Literally, from the same posters.

Not the slave bangle one, that's a serious conversation. The rest are just "poor me, I'm so confused"

Well I didn't buy the bangles because they were really expensive £600 each! They were lovely though. I remember as a teenager I knew an older girl who wore them and that's what she called them

No they're not.
They are having a discussion about how terms change.
That's all.

abut about

And yet people are determined to tell us that they are SO confused abut how to use language these days.

This thread is about slave bangles and getting told off for using the term. It wasn’t long before granny talking about n##### brown came up. If people can’t understand why the words they use are offensive then I just think that they don’t know any better, poor things.

Lovely advice.
Except the thread is about bangles.

volver

Oh not this again.

Call people by the description they want to be known by and stop pretending you're too old to know what to do and its only the woke ones who care.

Exactly.

I think it's OK if it's a one off error, that was unintentional, you were highly apologetic and never use it again.

If it's a case of not wanting to understand why it was offensive, and wanting to continue to keep the same vocabulary, even after others have shown it is no longer appropriate, then I'm afraid you're going to keep butting heads, and worse, eventually will be called racist.

Learn and move on.

Never heard of them either. That's interesting Avalon and as you say, knowing the full background to the history of a term or word, isn't something we're often aware of.

You didn't intend to be offensive and that's what really matters Biscuitmuncher.

You can fall into this trap without thinking. Don't worry you aren't the only one and you will not do it again.
I referred to an Indian family and my GD recently returned from the USA jumped on me and said, native people.
I pointed out I meant a family from India that I knew and what was I to call them as opposed to Pakistani.
There are lots of grey areas ,when are Travellers, travellers and when are they Gypsys which I have heard the T.V recently?

Two good, empathetic, reasoned posts Dickens.
I recently used the earlier description for conjoint twins when explaining something to my granddaughter. My daughter quickly reminded me of the correct term. To be honest it’s not something that crops up very often, but I was also aware of the current description, just hadn’t eradicated the previous one from my mind.

Or, alternatively, don't refer to the colour of anyone's skin at all. Then you don't have to worry about it.

There are some terms that are, and always have been, derogatory and shouldn't be used.

However, it's often really difficult to keep up with what terminology is currently acceptable, especially if you don't usually find yourself in the situation to use it. We should cut people a little slack if they genuinely get it wrong and just gently tell them what is acceptable, perhaps simply by using the that term instead when replying (although it will probably change again shortly!).

Oh not this again.

Call people by the description they want to be known by and stop pretending you're too old to know what to do and its only the woke ones who care.

My friend visited her husbands very elderly grandparents, and their dog's name was n****r.
A bit awkward, as my friend is black. (Her preferred descriptor, before anyone points out that she isnt "allowed" to call herself that)

MissAdventure

I'm reminded of the gran on Desmond's complaining that she had just got her head around being called coloured, and now "they" had changed it all, and she was black.

I recall a friend telling me that it always amused him that the people most upset about these words were almost always white and middle aged. He said it was as if they thought because he was West Indian he wasn't intelligent enough to know if and when he had been insulted!

I was surprised to hear that ‘person of colour’ is now the preferred option. I can’t say I like it.

I'm reminded of the gran on Desmond's complaining that she had just got her head around being called coloured, and now "they" had changed it all, and she was black.

A friend used the word 'coloured' a few years ago and was severely reprimanded by his boss who told him it it was an offensive term and you now say 'black'.

He genuinely thought it was the other way around and 'black' was offensive.

I think older people find it difficult to keep up with what is the current correct term.

When I was younger 'ni**er brown' was a common name for dark brown. Up to her death 8 years ago my mum would still say it occasionally , not realising the offensiveness of it.

I've never heard of them and would never use that term but it is difficult to keep up with modern terminology which constantly changes and words which came into existence fairly recently are suddenly never to be used again. I wouldn't beat myself up Biscuitmuncher.