Do you have a strategy for one of “those” days? I

Beeb thanks for the positive comment. I find that keeping busy, with something I have to concentrate on i.e. for me it's sewing, rests my mind from my worries or sadness. Even a vague, undefined feeling, like Maw describes, can be eased if you have to pay close attention to what you're doing, rather than how you're feeling. Perhaps it'll come back when you take a break from your task, but the rest from it has to be beneficial.

I do get days like that. My way of dealing with them is to get lost in a good book, get outside and around people, play music or a good audible book, cook something, play the piano
I often wish I could paint or draw or was good at needlework, but no talent for those. An absorbing hobby must help.
Best wishes Maw. On those days you describe, you are not alone and starting a thread on here was a good move.

I usually drink my breakfast coffee and then go and do some task I have been putting off FOR AGES because it was too depressing or too boring.

My logic is that I am down in the dumps right now, so sorting through old photos, turning out that cupboard or whatever else it is I have been successfully ignoring apart from that niggling little voice in my head for so long, is not going to make me feel any worse today.

Nine times out of ten, once the dreaded task is started I go on and finish it, and feel MUCH better when it is done, because even although it was one of those days, I have done something constructive.

On the tenth occasion, I stick it for half to three-quarters of an hour, and then if I really cannot make headway, I give it up. And go for a walk, or a bike ride, or take a nap.

I feel the same some days. It has been particularly bad this week. Not been so occupied. Do you think Maw we have been looking forward to coming out of lockdowns and actually it’s not as good as expected! Our expectations were too high. Just a thought. I am just about to have a shower and walk the dog. Lovely day here. I cancelled a coffee with a friend this afternoon didn’t seem to have the mental energy. So I understand totally but it does go. Perhaps trying to find something to look forward to?

i do chi gong then meditate, if it does not shift then i say hello to it.I heard on radio4 recently that dancing is very good too.

If I feel a bit down I try to do something which makes me feel good, something constructive such as a bit of sewing or knitting or maybe a little job in the garden like dead-heading or tackling the dandelions. Afterwards I can sit back and feel I've achieved something.

How do you feel today Maw?

I know the feeling of nobody to do nothing with. It’s almost like a rut or ebb you get stuck in and can’t shift.
I paint, draw or read to try and get myself in a better frame of mind but it doesn’t always work. Sometimes I think it’s better to go back to bed for a bit and try again later.
It’s bleak now but not forever, though it seems to be.
I’ll be thinking of you.

Maw Glad you’re feeling a bit better. Gransnet is a great place to share and get support. Merlotgran ? . lizzypopbottle love your trousers and blouse- they used duvets last week on the Great British Sewing Bee reduce, reuse , recycle.

I've have had a West Highland terrier for the past 7 years. She is my reason to get out in the park every morning. Rain hail or sunshine , I've never missed a morning in 7 years. I loved it so much, I got a second Terrier 4 years ago. These 2 little dogs give me so much in joy, companionship and so many other things. I don't have " these so called bad days. No matter how bad I feel, going out before breakfast for me is the answer

I'm having one of those days today. I've taken the puppy for a walk (in her sling because she's not fully jabbed yet). Went to my husband's bench to present her to him (daft I know). Wanted to cry, but couldn't because I only had puppy pads with me!
I've made a cuppa from herbs from my garden, and before you all think I'm saintly, may I add, I'll be finishing off the chocolate with it!
I need to go out out, but not wanting to. Need a kick up the btm, but I don't think that of the OP. We're always harder on ourselves.

I think this must be a common feeling.I have it every morning and have done for donkeys years. A low grade background depression all day. I’ve used coping mechanisms since I was very young, and having been in and also a therapist I am convinced there is a root source, but have never found it.

Recently having some horrendous family news I have been unable to engage the coping strategies and have seized up mentally and am physically unwell. I have no trust in the medical profession in these instances (past experience) but have found a good homeopath with good knowledge who isn’t afraid of mental health issues is the way for me to go.

Sorry to say the “Cheerful Charlies” can really make things worse. Sometimes it’s OK to acknowledge that you feel c*r*a*p and may be knowing you are not the only person who does not see each day as a new adventure can be some sort of comfort.

Maw I often get those days. I try to go for a walk or go out in the car and sit by the sea. I’m fortunate that I have a good friend who can’t go out much and is happy to be visited for a cuppa and chat.

fairfraise

That last quote is quite true. I've just spent a happy hour trimming back hedge. Unfortunately the pruning saw my DH was using revealed a birds nest, so we stopped. Hope they're not too disturbed.

Please leave hedges alone from April to September. It's actually illegal to disturb bird nests.

Oh! It did come! ?

Oh! My photo didn't come!

I fire up my sewing machine, Maw, and whir away. Do you have any practical/physical hobbies? Having a project ready to start, or continue is great for lifting your mood. You can get the prep done on your good days. I've really got into making and (the two haven't always followed...) actually wearing things. I completed a pair of trousers yesterday and wore them to go to the dentist. I was so pleased with them that I smiled all day. In the picture, I also made the little blouse out of an old duvet cover.

Dogs! It is impossible to feel down for too long with them about. They are always pleased to see you and encourage you to go out - I nearly always talk to someone when I take the dogs out and have actually made some friends that way. I don't know what I would have done without mine when my husband died, they were so comforting.

Maw, had the same feelings myself for a good few days now. DH very ill waiting for an operation which was cancelled at very last minute recently. Seems all I do is worry. Don't have any answers, just to say you're not alone and I expect we all come out of the blues sooner or later

Hairdresser, Opera Plus, Waitrose and coffee sounds like a good please yourself kind of day. Hope you enjoyed it.

Some great ideas. Personally I don’t like being tied to specific days. I’ve just given up voluntary work for this reason. I like to wake up and decide how I feel and do what suits me on that day. Isn’t that what retirement is about, just as well we’re all different or there’d be no volunteers doing good things.
I’m not entirely selfish and will use the time to visit or entertain but intend to please myself from now on.

Just a thought .... I have signed up with Bookmark, which is a charity that uses volunteers to help children to read. It is linked with schools and can be done in person or online.

Their selection process is rigorous, as indeed it should be, and I have had to have references and very detailed identity checks as well as new DBS certificate. So it all looks kosher. And I have done their online safeguarding module, and been through an interview on zoom.

I am slightly stalled at the moment as there is a technical hitch my end in accessing the main training course.

However - it seemed to me that it might be something that will keep me in touch with the world and able to be of use, even though I am unable to leap about as I might wish.

Just wondered if having this focus and being in touch with young people might be a way of banishing the blues.

Thank you LauraNorderr - as you and most people have realised, it’s not a question of things to do or even people to do things with
I regard myself as very independent and am generally happy to go to the theatre, ballet, cinema (matinees) or exhibitions and galleries on my own. Sometimes it’s better than having to adjust my pace to somebody else. I have even been known to have a pub lunch if out on my own.
But those who are widowed or divorced will appreciate the absence of somebody to do nothing with.
So today it’s Opera Plus then the hairdresser than probably Waitrose and a coffee.
Thank you for all your suggestions.

Maw could you set up a GN meet near you? Just organising it could be quite a task and give you something positive and useful to do. I bet there are local Grans just wishing someone would do it.

I have widowed, divorced and single friends and it is thanks to all you lovely people that I’m more aware and pay them a bit more attention. It was you Maw, many moons ago that first brought to my attention the difficulty of having ‘no one to do nothing with’.
I hope my friends have benefitted from the experiences you all share on here and good advice you all give.
It takes considerable strength to admit to being a bit lonely or down in the dumps sometimes, to reach out and ask for company or a chat.
Hope you’re all feeling brighter today.

merlot