Do you have a strategy for one of “those” days? I

I have a playlist on my Spotify called "Cheer up and dance". I can't be down when that's on.

Obviously I don’t know your circumstances but would it be possible for you both to have residential care where the anxiety would be removed and you would have more social contact? A friend of mine whose husband had dementia and who was frail herself did this. She could still go out knowing he was well cared for. They were in the same home but in different areas.

Thank you Greenfinch no not really my daughter lives over 200 miles away my son is close by but he has a very busy job he calls in a few times through the week if I need him to do something he will but I try not to ask. I have job gotten my husband into a day centre after 2 years of trying and the amount of work and time it takes dealing various services is unbelievable, various agencies phone and take up precious time and nothing comes of all that time. I haven’t done much about myself but they have said I need a ramp two years ago I'm still waiting I have beengiven a push wheelchair which is absolutely useless to me as I can't use or get it out. I have lost all balance and have had many broken bones and stitches which has made much more careful I get around holding on to furniture and walls. I have opted for direct payment for me which is just happening now and was delayed by an incompetent social worker but that's another story.
I took care of myself workouts ten thousand steps plus a brought up my granddaughter I am fiercely independent and it's hell having my husbands carers coming into my house I loved gardening and walking for relaxing I try not to moan like this but it's an awful life that's it I'm not done but I will leave it there.

Oh mary life must be very difficult for you. I do hope you have some family support or friends who can give you some help and moral support. Can your GP organise anything?

I have been reading all your posts I would love to have the option to be able to go for a walk do gardening pop to the shops go to the doctors or anywhere,I used to be able to but I was stricken down with Parkinson's disease two years ago my husband has dementia and I am his carer so count yourself lucky to have the option to do all the above because life is very hard being housebound for over two years now I been out three times to hospital appointments and three times to a supermarket and believe I do feel down and depressed but I'm supposed to count my blessings and realise it could be worse but I can't. I am sorry to but I think a few people on here should count their blessings just saying

Have you tried Quordle? Far more satisfying than wordle and a stimulating challenge

MawtheMerrier

LauraNorderr

Not quite the same Maw, and not invalidating your feelings, but we are all on here doing nothing with you.

But reading the GM thread (always a bad idea) I am exhausted just reading all the things everybody seems to be doing!

Oh, I can't keep up with the GM thread.

Sometimes I popped in just to say hello but now I do Wordle first thing. Well, it's not first thing because I am a very slow morning person.
In fact, slow all the time now.

I think Shakespeare's comedies are witty and we use so many of his phrases today in everyday speech.

The Smiths weren't really on my radar

Sorry I missed this thread, MawtheMerrier

Yes, I've had those days; a friend tells me it's my fault because I don't "network".
We both belong to a women's group but there are cliques within the group and she seems to be invited to their exclusive lunches etc whereas many of us don't.
I'm trying harder but I really can't 'work the room' and go round hugging people as she does.

So I'll put up with 'those days' but try to find things to do that I enjoy.

I hope today is a better day.

I do the job I have been putting off most. It could be anything from cleaning the oven to an awkward phone call. Since I am already feeling down I might as well do something I don’t want to do. I feel much better once that job is done. It works for me.

Yes, only so long before I cave in and start texting, emailing and occasionally phone friends up.

I don’t want to appear needy, but I do crave company sometimes.
The trouble is, most of my friends live busy lives and I don’t.
I’ve done voluntary work in charity shops, visited elderly folk etc. But now I seem to have come to a stop.
I also detest gardening and weeding and am not at all inclined to go walking alone.
That’s a bad day for me. Tomorrow I meet up with friends and hey ho, I’m cheered up.

Hi Maw, so sorry you’re feeling this way. I have days like this too and had one on Monday. Mine is down to depression and even though I’m not alone, this horrible illness makes you feel that way and I can certainly resonate with the feelings you describe. Like others have said, getting out in nature can help but I’m afraid on Monday, I just gave up and went to bed, which I shouldn’t have done but I was so lethargic I thought it would do me good. I spoke to my therapist about this and she confirms that, if you can, push yourself to do something, however small, as it may just help to lift you a little. Another thing to remember is, it will pass, but I must admit, I have trouble believing this when I’m low. I’d love to be one of these people who are happy to be alone and potter about but unfortunately I’m not so need to keep busy. You’re not alone in feeling this way. I hope you feel better very soon but if not, then post again and reach out for some support. Take care of yourself. Xxxx

I run a private book group on Messenger with other ancient ( and i’d Better add not so ancient!) retired and not retired book dealers like myself ... currently it has become a Wordle group more than a book chat one!
I rarely feel empty or alone, even tho I live alone, and my adult sons and family live in London and in Japan. I saw my single London son a year ago when I was very ill, but I haven’t seen my son , wife or grandchildren in person for around 3 years now, mainly due to Covid. But that’s fine. We communicate by Messenger every day with our daily Wordle results, which often leads to longer chats .
I DO feel empty and alone if I feel ILL, but then I just stay in bed and read or watch tv if I feel up to it,
I have poor health and am up and down, but when i’m Up there are always a million things I could do...too many usually! So many things i’d Love to have a go at but won’t have the time left ( I’m 76) or the ability!
For those who haven’t heard of Wordle it’s a daily single Word game - google New York Times Wordle. If you can get even one friend to join you doing it once a day it’s something to look forward to. Don’t be put off , just read the instructions carefully and give it a try.... it’s addictive! It can take a few minutes or an hour to solve - depending...It can also as I said, lead to longer online conversations, and you might find loads of your friends feel the same as you?
I wish you the best.
If you really have nothing to look forward to...make something up as a daily task.... learn a language, paint, write a short story ( you can try a novel later!) , learn to sew, knit, think of something you might like to try? Lots of online courses... but to meet more people now Covid has ( sort of) declined, there will be physical courses in your area... go for it!
Good Luck (smile)

For over 20 years I suffered from depression for six months of every year. Waking up to face it day after day was torment.
However, three years ago a craniosacral healing session took it away for good.
My faith and love of horses, as well as loyal friends and family, all helped to sustain me during that terrible time of my life.
Reading to escape, watching television programmes and long walks all helped.
It turned out that the depression was actually a form of Complex PTSD, only discovered retrospectively.
The PTSD was caused by my abusive 28 year long marriage to a husband with Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
I had decided to divorce when my own mental health was affected, as I was the main breadwinner, and we had two children to support.
Nowadays, depression free, I am grateful to be alive.

I just open the cratch of my narrow boat home and a river bird is bound to visit and make me smile. I have a Canadian goose sitting on the bow at the moment watching me through the window. There are a pair of ducks sitting in the sun on the jetty. I count my blessings...

I also find going outside helps - a walk - or just in the garden. Try to be positive about something - maybe a future date with friends or family. Read a good book - maybe a trip to the library - if you are feeling low more often have a look at whether there's anything going on in your local community that interests you - they often have clubs or coffee mornings - not always easy to go on your own, but they usually have people to welcome you and talk to you. Just take the initiative. Think of all the good things you have in your life.

best wishes

breathe deeply and try to stay in the present, feeling gratitude for everything you have, and as others have said nature is a great healer... I hope you don't have too many of these days..

I googled 'herbal tea for mood' and any of these might be worth a try if you like herbal teas.

Get outside if I can, put on something fun and dance to it ( doesn’t matter if you can’t!) and remember ‘this too shall pass’ as these feelings usually do.

I have never had a day so bad that it couldnt be lifted by a cup of camomile and vanilla tea and a good book. That is my go to answer for the blues, oh and a fluffy blanket

As others have said Maw I find getting out of the house is the best tonic - whatever the weather. When I was going through a particularly bad time, I walked and walked. I remember, one day I was out and it poured with rain. The feeling of rain on my face reminded me that I was actually glad to be alive. The restorative impact of nature can’t be underestimated! So, my strategy for those days is, dress for the weather and go for a long walk. When you return home, the house doesn’t seem so bleak - it feels comforting.

Thanks Netty21 I don't want to hijack Maw's thread but only to illustrate that, no matter what my mood is, I will smile when I wear something I've made.

Thanks for bringing up such an important matter.

Today was / is just one of those days for me. I didn't know which way to turn first thing this morning so I looked at a meditation video I have been using on bleak days. Not sure if I am allowed to mention which one ?

Only 3 minutes or so long and such a help.

I chose a word to keep in mind today and it's simply the word BREATHE because when I am uptight in body and mind I breathe very shallowly.

This too will pass is a good phrase to have in mind too. If it doesn't pass and you feel down most of the time see your doctor. There may be a medication that will help, or a counsellor in the practice you could speak to.

All the very best x

Lovely ?! You should be very proud! No wonder you kept smiling ?!!

I think it's called displacement activity! Sometimes (I know this only too well) it's an aid to procrastination but sometimes it's a good distraction.

I think you just have to go with the flow, really.
Sometimes it doesnt help to go places, do things, and so on.
Sometimes only the impossible would "fix" the those days, and anything else is just a temporary distraction.
Music usually cheers me a bit on "those days".