why do we say 'passed'?

It’s a personal choice

I'm another one who would never say "passed" and would only very reluctantly use "passed away". People die.

Equally, I'm unlikely to say "Sorry for your loss" - it sounds like you've mislaid your luggage! I would say "sorry to hear about [insert person's name]".

Once upon a time people tended to die at home amongst the family. Now we seem to be too delicate to consider death as normal and shovel the deceased off to some anonymous crematorium so that we don't have to think about it all.

I am another in the died and dead camp. I may pass somebody in the street and if they have passed, to where have they passed?

I would usually say ‘died’, but when my MIL died, I used the expression passed away as that is literally what she did! Never was the phrase more appropriate.

Who knows the answer to that?

I say whatever o feel like at the time; sometimes passed away, sometimes died.

Why not? Apart from the fact that it makes people feel like "screaming', apparently.

I say died! I don’t like the expression gone home.

Gone home is what my mum used to say when something was worn out and not serviceable any more.
Same thing, I suppose.

Bit harsh there Septimia. Not everyone is able to afford a cemetery plot etc or the deceased may have specified cremation.

I remember " called to higher service" as well Mrseggy from my strict methodist upbringing.

I always say died.

It's the passing from one state to another, as in from life to death, perfectly acceptable grammatical form and not at all twee.

As when people say "Sorry you lost your...." it's not an expression of lost location but of physical and emotional loss of a loved one, again a perfectly correct grammatical term.

As Anniebach says it's personal choice and, as a breaved person, I'm just glad my bereavement is acknowledged in whatever form it takes.

I remember the term "slipped away" being used when I was a child. I found it confusing as there was ice on the ground at the time.
I prefer to say died as no confusion.

Surely it's a personal thing in how someone addresses the subject. For my mum I say she has gone 'home' or to an eldely neighbour who has forgotten, I say that my mum isn't here anymore, i never use the word passed, no idea why, I just dont use it, nor dead that is cold and heartless to me, despite the fact the person is infact dead!

It isn't set in stone as to how it should be explained, each to their own I say...

The historical reason for "passed" being connected with dying is this -

"Passed over" refers to the religious concept of passing over the boundary between this life and the next. Rivers feature often as this boundary.

In the ancient world, it was the river Styx. Small coins were placed on the dead persons eyes, so that they would have money to pay the ferryman who took them across the Styx. If they had no money to pay their fare, they would be stuck for ever, neither in this world nor safely in the next. Once they had passed over the river, they couldn't return, and no-one could follow them until they too died.

There is a Negro Spiritual that goes.

"One more river, and that's the river of Jordan.
One more river.
One more river to cross"

Then there is "Swing low, sweet chariot" -
"I looked over Jordan and what do I see
(Coming for to carry me home)
A band of angels coming after me
Coming for to carry me home"
www.youtube.com/watch?v=YOe8BHDxv2g

Once over the river Jordan, the dying person would be carried to heaven by the angels. They would have passed over (or passed on) from this earth to another reality.

The first Americans took with them many expressions which are no longer common here, but some of them are coming back into use, as Americanisms become more universal. "Passed" without the "over" or "on" is just a shortened form.

Depending on the age of the person who has died.
If elderly i tend to say passed away,other people i tend to say they have died,if it`s someone i don`t really know i say that person is dead.
Looking at this in writing i think i shall change a little,i sound rather harsh.

I absolutely hate ‘sorry for your loss’. I didn’t lose my husband, I didn’t leave him on a train or drop him in the street. He died.

I once had a telephone conversation with my mum, telling me that someone had died, she then said, “well, not died, you know, they've passed away.”

I told her that I thought she was right the first time but she didn’t like the word ‘died’.

This thread goes to show that everyone is different.
Not right or wrong - just different.

I use either word, each to their own. Bought back memories Elegran, my school friends and I auditioned for a tv show 'Anything you Can do' and we sung 'Swing low, sweet chariot'. Very badly! I had it at my husband's funeral.

I always say 'died' and 'dead'. I have told my family if they use any euphamism for death and dying when talking about my death, I will come back and ruin their sleep.

AGAA4 I think you are right where children are concerned. People shy away from honest explanations with children, and I know this can be very sensitive, but using euphemisms such as passed away, gone to sleep, can be very confusing, and even frightening for a child.
Children, if prepared well, can often cope with honest explanations better than we think.

A still birth is now - a sleeping baby

Oh good lord Anniebach,is that really what people say ?.
I can`t think of anything worse.
Surely sleeping babies wake for a feed.
Terrible thing to say imo.

‘Passed away’ to be honest to soften the blow of the word ‘died’ when telling somebody who obviously didn’t know.

Each one of us will use whichever term makes us feel comfortable. It really is of no importance.

My daughter gently told her children that their dog would not be coming home.
“Is he dead?” one asked.