why do we say 'passed'?

I prefer died.

On another level there is always the Monty Python parrot sketch.

I always say died or dead. DH , if he is told someone has ‘passed’ will say “passed what” under his breath.

Passed wind is the first thing that comes to my mind.
I prefer passed away.

Well said Nannee.
Of course we say “Sorry for your loss” what else can you say?

I try to say, 'I was sorry to hear of the death of your....husband, friend, partner' after once saying 'sorry for the loss of your ex-husband' to which the response was: 'he's no loss to me.'

Ouch!
That must have been a bit awkward!

It's pretty common usage here to say someone has passed away.
We also use died. I'm just trying to think how they are used.

I think if someone has died that was expected to die, as in very old or sick for a long time, we used passed away. If someone died suddenly or unexpectantly, died is used. So using 'passed away' is a gentler form of a life ending (if that makes any sense).

OH dear easybee ?
I wonder why we are so scared about the mention of death and dying that we have to disguise it in euphemisms?
Surely it’s part of life’s cycle and the natural order of things.

Does it really matter as long as they acknowledge it? I know it can be hard to do but it hurts more when people don’t say anything.

Thankyou Elegran for the explanation!
I have never been comfortable with passed or passed away but I found myself using it recently. It'll be that it's so common now.
Sorry for your loss is a bit weird too.
However language is forever evolving so I'm not condemning anyone for their words of condolence.
Thank you.

Never use the phrase 'moved on', especially in the hospital setting. A Ward Sister friend was then asked by the uncomprehending family, 'well, which ward have you moved him to?
?

ixion

Never use the phrase 'moved on', especially in the hospital setting. A Ward Sister friend was then asked by the uncomprehending family, 'well, which ward have you moved him to?
?

Tbh, I’d be pretty appalled if any health care professional used a euphemism. I used to correct my student nurses very promptly if they said that a patient had done anything other than die.

The expression “passed away” and its variations make me cringe. I associate them with a certain kind of person. Someone who is afraid of using direct expressions and who uses evasive language at difficult times. Someone who would be unable to discuss an embarrassing ailment with their doctor.

Well, you have that very wrong.
I never shy away from speaking about things as they are, in all their gruesome glory.

I sometimes feel the need to protect my wellbeing though.
If the word "dead" is going to plummet me into despair, then I won't use it about my "loss".
If others don't like it, I'm afraid they'll have to lump it.

I’m with you MissA. As I said up thread, to protect oneself or others. I’m afraid you’ll have to carry on cringing Aonk.

This is an American euphemism which has now become extremely common here. I hate it because it implies a belief in the afterlife (the person is ‘passing over’ to the ‘other side’) and I’m pretty sure the majority of people who say ‘passed’ or ‘passed away’ do not hold that belief. I actually banned its use at the recent funeral of my son and refused to have the word on the order of service.
It’s a lost battle, I fear - look at the death announcements in our local paper and the word ‘died’ just never appears now.

I always say died. Sadly as a nurse I had to tell relatives when someone had died. It was what we said to ensure there was no misunderstanding. Passed on or similar could be understood as moved somewhere else like another ward. It's important to be clear.

It’s my mums funeral tomorrow (well today as it’s now 2am) and when initially making plans, I had to tell the funeral director to use “ died” rather than “ passed away” and I could see he was a bit surprised at my bluntness.

It will be a humanist service, no hymns, no prayers and certainly no references to being a star in the sky looking down on us! The celebrant met with me and my siblings for a couple of hours to get Mums life history and even though we were very blunt, matter of fact and made it clear we wanted to celebrate Mums amazing personality, he ended his tribute in a rather flowery way! He sent us his draft so we rewrote parts of it and crossed out chunks to make it more fitting, luckily he was very happy with our changes and I think we will have more of a party than a sad gathering. Mum is dead, not passed away or in a happier place.

I do think though that possibly if someone was elderly, possibly unwell or in pain, then it is easier to use blunt terms than in sudden unexpected deaths of young people.

Thinking of you*teacheranne*. I hope all goes as you wish .

Passed away is common term here in Australia - I wouldnt call it a euphamism

Everyone knows what it means.

Perhaps would avoid it and say died instead if talking to a child or someone who had English as a second language and wasnt sure if they knew what the term meant.

But really just a general term - no confusion.

Same with loss in context of death - everyone ( at least all adults with rudimentary grasp of english) understands context and that words have different meanings in different contexts.

Death is horrific enough as it is.

Why is a gentler expression meant, in general, as a kind, empathetic attempt to try and ease the pain of loss a tiny bit, not a good thing?

And why is it considered good form to be a smartarse saying "I've not lost him, I know exactly where he is"?

It just shows ignorance of varied but nevertheless correct linguistics and complete cluelessness in the use of context, as AussieNan says, not to mention rudely crushing obviously well meant condolences.

It’s died or dead in this house.

Only the other day I was talking to a friend and the subject of my husband’s death, years ago now, came up. She kept talking about when I “lost” him. I so wanted to correct her, but I managed not to. If she preferred to use a euphemism, I thought it would be tactful to let her. I felt irritated, though.

I don't mind people saying whatever they want to in all honesty

I hope the service goes well TeacherAnne