The School Prom - For or Against?

Yet more pressure on already struggling households.............it is difficult making ends meet for many without the cost of outfits and all the extras!

No such thing as a Prom when I left grammar school, we had an end of year disco for the fourth to upper sixth students but even those weren't well attended, my friends and I preferred to go into town, plenty of fun there and much cheaper too.

I have 3 grandchildren doing their GCSE’s at the moment.
Their prom is in one months time.
gGD has ordered her dress, will have hair and nails done , limo with boyfriend, - the meal alone is £40. Overall cost about £300.

Twin gs’s - one doesn’t want to go but will meet up at the after party at a friends large house. The other twin will buy a suit and go with friends .

Eldest gd had her prom 3 years ago. Had all the trimmings. The meal was very poor and she said it was an ‘OK’ occassion.

I think it should all be stopped.

They are not aimed at the middle-aged and elderly. The majority of young people like a prom, those that don't Do not attend.

Own clothes days are bad enough honestly. Especially when its raining and muddy and beautiful new clothes get ruined.

I also prefer the outings to theme parks etc muxh more inclusive

Anyway, to me a ‘Prom’ is a concert at the Albert Hall, not a school thing.

Another ghastly American idea. As with wedding showers, baby showers,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Grandmabatty

Ixion I can only comment on my experience in a Scottish school. Completely organised and run by senior pupils. There was a committee headed by the captains and a depute head teacher would advise, if asked and would have an overview. Staff received a formal, often beautiful, invitation but were not involved in publicising or organising any part of the prom. The committee would ensure all those eligible to attend knew how much it would cost etc and the school office took in the money. A certain level of attendance at school had to be maintained or you didn't get to go. The same applied to behaviour. As far as I'm aware, no other type of celebration was mooted by pupils. The prom took place after the graduation of the year when each pupil received a scroll. Then they were bussed to a local hotel. Senior management would stop anyone entering the hotel who were 'under the weather' and contact their parents to collect them. Laterally that didn't often happen, although there were always a few who chanced their luck. Senior management also supervised what was going on at the prom. The head teacher was always glad when it was done! Generally the pupils and staff had a lovely time. It was nice to them dressed up. There was also a BBQ organised by the captains and perfects for staff.

Thank you for taking to time to explain how these things (might) work.

It would take a Herculean effort to break the mould, by the looks of it!

My thoughts exactly BlueSky.

Ixion I can only comment on my experience in a Scottish school. Completely organised and run by senior pupils. There was a committee headed by the captains and a depute head teacher would advise, if asked and would have an overview. Staff received a formal, often beautiful, invitation but were not involved in publicising or organising any part of the prom. The committee would ensure all those eligible to attend knew how much it would cost etc and the school office took in the money. A certain level of attendance at school had to be maintained or you didn't get to go. The same applied to behaviour. As far as I'm aware, no other type of celebration was mooted by pupils. The prom took place after the graduation of the year when each pupil received a scroll. Then they were bussed to a local hotel. Senior management would stop anyone entering the hotel who were 'under the weather' and contact their parents to collect them. Laterally that didn't often happen, although there were always a few who chanced their luck. Senior management also supervised what was going on at the prom. The head teacher was always glad when it was done! Generally the pupils and staff had a lovely time. It was nice to them dressed up. There was also a BBQ organised by the captains and perfects for staff.

It's my gorgeous GD's prom in July. She's really looking forward to it and I'm not going to spoil her excitement by being a grumpy old fart voicing out loud my disapproval but I really do agree that it's a stressful, expensive, over the top import.

As a single mum, it would have been a real struggle for my daughter to afford the dress if we'd not pitched in and my dear GD is very aware and very grateful, deliberately going for the cheapest option rather than the one she liked best until we told her it was fine.

I really feel for the kids who won't have the money or family support and though recycling prom dresses is a lovely idea it would make me, at that age, feel even more poverty stricken. My way out would have been to be contemptuous of the whole expensive dress thing much preferring to be cutting edge, stylish and making my own, as I did with my wedding dress, but that way of thinking just isn't prevalent any more.

Mostly not called graduations in Victoria but I think some schools do. They are held by state schools as well as private schools and they are something the kids look forward to and get lots of photos of. I can’t see the harm in them, the kids seem to love them and some hire limos between friends to take them on the night. Most of them seem to do it, very few miss out.

Back in the dark ages we had a end of term disco where I was hoping to et a dance with the hot geography master - no dice got the history master - short, hairy tweed jacket and bad breath.

I’m very grateful to have had a son. The cost of hiring a dinner suit was nothing compared with what the girls’ parents must have spent.

Out of interest, can anyone here with a teaching background say how these things start?
Do the staff promote them? Is there a 'student committee' which opts for this specific form of celebration? (It could be something else?).
What role does the school Management Team play? How is it monitored and supervised? How visible a presence are they?
Could they say 'no'? - and how, if at all, would it damage the school's reputation as a 'misery guts'??
Who buys the drinks? Is there an 'entry fee' as well?

Bit out of touch here! Closest I have come is a video of 5 year old DGS 'graduating' from his Oz 'Kindy' en route for Big School, with mortar board, rolled up certificate, presentation ceremony, dark clothing and 'gown'.
Horrendous. Oh yes, and their personal profiles and 'achievements' displayed round the hall posters on the wall?

Totally out of hand and over the top.How can parents who struggle over cost of school uniforms,bus fares,meal costs etc foot the bill.
Day trips with activities would be a far better experience with maybe the pupils organising sponsored activitys during the previous yr to help fund costs which in itself would be fun.
Junior schools have also jumped on band wagon,
My friends daughter aged 11 wanted a spray tan for her final year black tie dinner at local restaurant.Next was hiring of a limo.Is it the parents trying to upstage each other.
Why on earth are we allowing children to think this is the norm?

Just glad they weren't held in my day or when our boys were at school. What's wrong with the end of the school year disco?

My GDs ‘prom’ caused no end of bad feeling and falling out among her classmates it was very rowdy and she left early as it was just not what she’d hoped for. So it’s a no from me.

nanna8
Are they called Graduations over there?
They are in NQ I know

nanna8

We call them school valedictories or formal nights here and some still call them the Deb’s Ball. Good chance for grandparents to go and see their lovely grandchildren and have a good evening out ,at least until the dreaded Covid. They give the kids ballroom dance lessons at school in preparation, can’t go astray. Most girls hire their gowns but some actually buy them.

Yes, and I've seen some of them dressed up on their way to the proms.
I think they're probably a year older and leaving school altogether whereas here, I think, it's the Y11 which has a prom. I might be wrong.

Schools & pupils are not known for considering costs to parents GrannyGravy so maybe input from parents could be a good idea.

Oh I loved my debs ball (as it was called then I think)
My hair was done by my mum, makeup by me, and my dress was a big puffed sleeved monstrosity which I loved.
My son’s both loved theirs and they and their friends all got ready at our house, however mine was in the school gymnasium and theirs was in an event centre which was a bit fancier and hence a bit more pricey.
I’m sure it’s gotten far more expensive, but I’d hate for such a lovely event to end.

I agree that they are an unnecessary import and put pressure on parents and students alike.
Some schools are trying to help by providing pre-loved clothing but that is, in fact, buying in to the system.

I imagine if parents have daughters the cost could be considerable and a certain competitive pressure on how they present themselves on those girls I imagine. I had boys so not such a massive outlay. It's another financial pressure piled on in a day and age where everything has morphed into a huge event, baby naming parties, showers, hen dos, stag dos, weddings, renewal of vows. I remember when mine were at school the prom was a rite of passage and how they loved to get together at that age with their class year, so we went along with it, at a later stage the graduation from university seemed small potatoes in comparison.

If that’s what the school decides usually with the input from its pupils I hope it’s an enjoyable evening for all.

Exactly Nemo